A farm wife's life...

Encouragement for New Moms

2012-03-02T08:30:00.000-06:00

Recommended by my friend Theresa,

this post is just too lovely and too helpful not to share:

100 Ways to Encourage a New Mom

For me one of the most helpful things after Elizabeth was born were the meals.

I said more than once that there were three main things on my mother-plate at that time

1) caring for the children and Dennis

2) laundry and general upkeep of the house

3) cooking

It seemed I was only able to keep up with two of the three.

If the kids got dressed and I got a meal on the table, then there was no way the clothes got washed and there were toys and junk everywhere.

If I kept the house from being worthy of a visit from a social worker and got everyone fed, then it seemed like I hadn't even held the baby or cared for the other children.

If I made supper and the kids were in good shape, then no one had clean clothes to wear!

(Some may say to just re-wear and we did to a point. But on a farm it's pretty imperative to keep up with the laundry!)

Not to mention that along with the major life-event that is childbirth and the sleep deprivation comes a numbing of the mind--the seeming inability to put things in order enough to assemble a meal, much less put it together and serve it even remotely on time!

Hence, it was SO HELPFUL to not have to worry about that one aspect on the days when I had help with meals.

Once when we all were under the weather and I was newly pregnant and feeling crummy from that,

a friend sent me an email and said she'd be over on a certain day, she'd be able to stay for about an hour, and for me to think of what I would like help with during that time.

This was so helpful because it

1) gave me time to think {remember the numb mind?!}

2) let me know she was coming for more than a visit {A "plain" visit is great--don't get me wrong!}

3) gave me time to prepare

I had her help me wash the kitchen floor.

Had she just stopped by for a visit and said "what can help with?" my personality is such that I could never have asked her to wash the floor because I wouldn't have had time to sweep it first! (I'm easily embarrassed by our messes.)

What have been your most helpful experiences?

Maybe not even with a new baby--maybe it's been during an illness or after a loss.

If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear!

Naptime!

2012-03-01T00:59:00.001-06:00

I really do wear my baby--see?

totally hands-free when needed

sweet baby dreams...

Works for Me Wednesday: Make Your Own Laundry Detergent--powdered version

2012-02-29T17:02:00.000-06:00

I have been making my own laundry soap for nearly three years now.

Here is the recipe I use:

Make Your Own Liquid Laundry Detergent

Last fall, I added a powdered version to my laundry repertoire.

Mostly I just wanted to see if I could do it, and I could!

The liquid is cheaper to make, but the powdered is, in my opinion, a stronger detergent.

I got the recipe from MckMama's site.

Here is what I use:

8 cups Borax

8 cups Washing Soda (not baking soda--washing soda is in the laundry aisle.)

1 Goat Milk Soap laundry bar

1 Goat Milk Soap bar, scent of your choosing

(my personal favorites for this purpose are Rosemary Spearmint, Red Clover Tea, or Ocean

Grate the bars of soap and mix with the borax and washing soda.

I use 2 Tbls in my front loading washer.

What I love the most about making my own detergent, whether liquid or powder, is that

1) I know exactly what is in it

2) It's cheaper and works just as well

3) I feel resourceful and independent!

I stopped using the fels-naptha bar about a year ago because it seemed to just build up on our clothes.

Since switching to goat milk soap, I've been so much happier.

Let me know what you think!

Inside...Outside

2012-02-29T08:01:00.001-06:00

Standing at my bedroom window...

looking outside...

and then inside.

Guess Who Got Glasses???!!!

2012-02-28T09:54:00.000-06:00

Isn't she BEAUTIFUL???!!!

My Hands-Free Device

2012-02-24T00:33:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged very much about wearing my babies in a sling.

This is mostly because I never like the pictures of me.

This one, though, I actually kind of like.

It was taken before I got my hair cut too short.

(Not her fault--totally mine. I thought I wanted to go shorter, but I was wrong.)

It was taken when Elizabeth was a month old,

which would be before I started gaining the 10+ pounds that I've slubbed on my hips, stomach, and arms since losing 30 pounds in the two weeks after she was born.

Oh yes! That's me--the woman who loses weight while pregnant and GAINS it postpartum.

Bleh.

Anyhoo...

before anyone gets all up in my bid'ness about how slings are so DANGEROUS,

(yes, I did have a woman literally chase me down in Target and tell me my baby could die in that thing)

I'd like to direct your attention to the following articles:

You Can't Recall My Arms

and

Are Baby Slings Safe?

I didn't have a sling until I was pregnant with Ruby.

I started reading (ok, ok--blog surfing) about "wearing" my baby.

At the recommendation of a friend (ok, ok--it was a blogger),

I chose the one you see in the picture above.

It was VERY difficult for me to choose a fabric, but I LOVED it even MORE when it came in the mail!

I knew I'd only get to spend the money once, so I'd better make it count!

Though I haven't yet had a baby boy to put in there,

I think it is a pretty neutral pattern and could be used for boys or girls.

I ordered it from this site and was pleasantly surprised at the price.

It is pretty disheartening to need some baby things and have them be so expensive--there aren't showers for babies after #1 and 2!.

While $30 is no pocket change, it is much cheaper than many carriers on the market.

Wearing Ruby, Ivy, and now Elizabeth has been wonderful.

I love, love, love having them close to me.

I think it helps them transition well from life on the INside to life on the OUTside.

In church, wearing my baby in the sling is so much easier for my back--

plus it leaves my hands available to hold the hymnal, wipe the toddler's nose,

catch the snack baggie before it falls on the floor, or take a little one to the bathroom.

At home, I have days in which I have the baby in the sling a lot and days in which I don't do so as much--it depends on the day.

I remember, though, before I started slingin' how it felt like I was always just feeding the baby and then placing him or her back in the carseat, bouncy seat, or swing so that I could get the work done that needed to get done. Now, I can assuage much of that guilt because she can stay right with me while I do much of what I need to do. Having said that, I also don't feel guilty when I do put her down because I've held her so much already. I'm a firm believer that babies need to be held. I don't believe it's possible to spoil a baby by holding them "too much."

Would you like some statistics that back me up on that?

Ok, here you go.

You're welcome.

I also have a wrap which I love.

(Apparently these have gone up in price since I bought mine--I think I paid $40.)

One day, I'd love to have an Ergo but for now, the price makes that not an option.

I also bought fabric the day Elizabeth was born to make my own mai-tai,

but my sewing machine is possessed and won't work reliably for me.

Just like tools in my farmer's toolbox, different slings/carriers work better at different ages and stages and in different scenarios.

For example, I once wore Ivy throughout a whole zoo field trip in my wrap with nary a sore back, neck, or shoulders. She was about seven months old.

However, if I've just gotten the baby asleep I will grab for my sling because I can't tie the wrap on while holding the sleeping babe. I may, though, have someone hold the baby while I put on the wrap and then take her back--it depends on how much of a gamble I'm willing to take on her waking up in the transfer!

There is so much out there about the benefits of baby wearing, different types of carriers, etc., so I don't need to re-write it all here.

Suffice it to say, I would encourage any parent to add a sling, wrap, or carrier to your stash of baby gear!

Please remember these important safety tips when wearing your baby--they may also help you not to be the one chasing down any mommys in Target.

I'm Blessed: To Know This Young Man

2012-02-20T17:17:00.000-06:00

It's Monday and some of you know what that means--

it's the day we write along with

Gretchen's I'm Blessed series.

This Monday, though, just happens to be

Nathaniel's 16th Birthday!!!

I want you to know how blessed I am to know this young man.

*he laughs at all my corny jokes

*he isn't in to pop-culture, he likes "good ol' stuff" like Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Buddy Holly, Chet Atkins,

Willie Nelson, and Wrangler jeans.

*he likes Spam. See?

(he got some for his birthday from my mom and dad)

*he is SO good with the younger kids

*he is a hard worker, as are his brothers

*he is a good conversationalist, able to strike up (and keep up) a conversation whether the person be 9, 19, or 90.

*he's patient with me when I don't understand something

(I'm terrible at history--sorry Mr. Listrom--and he has to help me often)

*he is an awesome self-taught guitarist

*he is the boy who made us parents

*we've screwed up over and over again and he STILL likes us!

Today I took him and Isaiah out for lunch at a Chinese buffet.

"All-you-can-eat-buffet" is like music to a teenage boy's heart.

We then went to Fleet Farm (of course!) and the boys picked out a case for one of their guns.

Tonight we are having Papa Murphy's for supper and blowing out some candles on his pumpkin bar "cake".

I've said it before, and will again,

how we ever went from needing a diaper change to needing a shave is beyond me. I guess I must have blinked and the years have flown by.

(He has since decided to wear mutton chops, which means less shaving.)

Happy 16th Birthday, Nathaniel!

It Never Gets Old...

2012-02-17T06:38:00.001-06:00

It never gets old...

the twinkle in my sons' eyes...

the squeals of delight...

the fits of laughter...

when they finally master:

the armpit fart noise.

This Baby Girl...

2012-02-16T10:34:00.000-06:00

has been sleeping through the night.

And we're both smiling about that!

Birth Disappointment

2012-02-15T16:44:00.000-06:00

I was talking with my friend Megan today,

(who was also my doula for Ivy and Elizabeth)

and we re-visited my experience with birthing Elizabeth.

It's helpful for me to talk to Megan about the disappointments

surrounding E's birth because

*she was there

*she's a woman/mommy

*she had a disappointing birth experience with her daughter, too.

She sent me this article and I think it's one everyone should read,

whether you are expecting a baby yourself or ever have a conversation with someone who has had a baby.

Coping with Birth Disappointment

And then...

2012-02-14T09:40:00.000-06:00

Dennis and I both started the day

feeling a bit discouraged.

And then...

*this*

walked out from her bedroom, having just woke up,

and we both smiled.

Isaiah

2012-02-11T13:58:00.001-06:00

You may remember that Isaiah had a birthday.

And even if you didn't remember that, you would probably instinctively know that he had a birthday, 'cause, well, everyone has one, right?

Right.

He chose chocolate revel bars for his "cake".

He lit 14 candles

and then he blew them out.

And that was that.

Ruby Colored

2012-02-11T00:02:00.002-06:00

Even if Ruby hadn't been the one to proudly show me her masterpiece,

I would know who colored it.

Not only is the purple and red color scheme rather tell-tale,

but, duh,

the horse's make-up gives it away.

Wordless

2012-02-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

Because

don't

even

know

what

say.

Hands and Feet

2012-02-09T07:46:00.001-06:00

I do the same science lesson with both Andrew and Christopher, together.

We have been talking recently about how different muscles and bones have different jobs

and how God created them each to do their own job just right.

The "object lesson" was to try to write your name using your feet instead of your hands

and to walk on your hands instead of your feet--boy, did they ever laugh while trying!!

We talked about how some people have to learn to do things without

their hands or feet;

we decided we are very thankful that all of our hands and feet can do their jobs well!

Ruby Tries Snow

2012-02-08T07:44:00.000-06:00

On our outing, Ruby announced she was thirsty.

Since I had spontaneously decided to go,

I had not packed my typical water bottle

so I advised her to eat snow.

White snow, always.

She wasn't sure about that.

See?

She had to think about that...

Very seriously.

That's a Good Question

2012-02-07T06:17:00.001-06:00

Last week on Isaiah's birthday, he chose to eat at Burger King.

He'd never had a Whopper before and wanted to give it a try.

He always has set high goals for himself.

As I sat with my two oldest boys, a lady came over to comment on our lovely little Elizabeth.

She assumed that these three were the sum of my children.

When I told her that I have nine, her jaw dropped.

She was completely floored.

She went on and on about how shocked she was that we have nine kids, etc.

Anyway, after she left, the boys and I started reminiscing about other similar encounters we've had and the many Duggar references.

Then Nathaniel posed a good question:

"It's funny that people never say, 'Hey--you guys are just like the Waltons!' It's actually a better comparison."

And he's right.

Even when we *only* had five kids, people would get so excited and say we were just like "that Duggar family." It probably is the combination of homeschooling and "large" family that does it, I suppose.

But the Walton's had seven kids; that's closer to our nine than the Duggar's 19.

The Waltons lived on a farm.

The Waltons had a fun-loving Grandpa.

The Waltons had to learn how to make do.

I wear an apron.

The Waltons had a goat.

The dad needs a haircut and up until last week, so did Dennis.

The Waltons even had an Elizabeth!!

Yep, though we love the Duggars, maybe we're a bit more like the Waltons--for now, anyway. :-)

I'm Blessed

2012-02-06T15:48:00.000-06:00

This week, I'm blessed to have such a good example of marriage in my parents.

I'm linking back to the post I wrote on Sunday, their 40th anniversary.

As I said there, I'm so glad they have stayed together in a time when it seems so many others are falling apart.

Also, reading Gretchen's post reminds me that our family has been SO spared from health hardships.

All of the things we have dealt with have been so minor.

During my darkest days after the babies are born, I remind myself that I got to come home with my baby.

Not all mommies get to do that.

I am holding my baby while I type this.

Not all mommies get to do that--some mommies have babies that they have never held.

Thank you, Gretchen, for hosting this blog party week after week.

It is good to reflect on the goodness of God.

Another Afternoon Adventure

2012-02-06T06:33:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I get in the mood to do something fun.

My husband and children would attest to the fact that I'm am NOT at ALL spontaneous.

But sometimes, sometimes,

I set my work aside and try to remember to have fun.

Like when we did this.

It's a step for me--a big step.

So on Friday,

I announced to my crew that I was going to take them sledding in town at the sledding hill,

which is just the hill leading to the ball field in the big town with a population of like 225.

I thought it would be fun for all the kids to go,

but my bigger kids didn't.

They didn't want to go and so I let them stay home.

I headed out with Andrew, Christopher, Elijah, Ruby, Ivy and Elizabeth.

It was a balmy day and our snow is pretty much all melted so that's why we headed to town.

I was a little worried when we pulled up next to the ball field because there wasn't a whole lot of snow there, either! There was enough to slide down on and it's a good thing it wasn't deep because I forgot that I don't even own a pair of boots!

Bipper on the snowboard

Ruby blazed her own trail

So proud!!

Ready,

set,

GO!

Straight line all the way down!

Andrew knee-boarding

Andrew was a good helper--up and down!!

I even went down one time with Elijah on his sled

but then he told me I shouldn't ride again

'cause I was too big.

That's always good for Mom's self-esteem.

Andrew, always the hot-rod.

Bipper takin' a break

makin' a train that stayed together all the way down!

Baby 'Lizabeth stayed asleep the whole time

in the van 5 ft from me.

I kept checking on her and she kept sleeping!

*sigh*

It was a good afternoon.

40 Years

2012-02-05T16:19:00.000-06:00

Today is my parents' 40th anniversary.

We are planning a party for them later this month.

Forty years...four decades.

In 1972, a gallon of gas cost $0.55.

Nixon was president and Watergate began.

(My dad actually worked in the White House at that time--no kidding!)

An era of lava lamps, 8 track players and fondue

when people watched Here's Lucy, Hawaii Five-O, and The Brady Bunch.

In 1982

gas was $0.91 and a postage stamp was $0.20 and a major recession hit the US.

The first cd player was sold in Japan and the Weather Channel aired on cable for the first time.

People watched Magnum, P.I., Dynasty, and Falcon Crest--when they weren't watching Dallas, of course.

Who shot JR?? Do you remember??

In 1992 a gallon of gas was $1.05 and a pound of bacon was $1.92.

Ross Perot announced he would run against Bill Clinton and President Bush.

The Mall of America was built and DNA fingerprinting is invented.

America's Funniest Home Videos came on the scene and Andy Griffith played Matlock.

2002

Gas was $1.61 and the No Child Left Behind Act was signed into law.

George W. and Tony Blair were household names.

Forty years, four decades, four children, and now 12 grandchildren!

Some of the things my parents have imparted to us were strong moral values,

love of family, a strong work ethic, discipline, consequences,

and a sense of humor.

One of the things that my dad has said that has always stuck with me is

when we would see my mom and dad being affectionate (and they still are!),

we kids would roll our eyes, make gagging noises, turn away, or do all three.

My dad would smile and say,

"You just wait--one day I hope you find someone to love you as much as I love your mom."

There has never been any doubt that my dad loves my mom.

(and vice versa--my mom is a SAINT!)

*wink*

I'm so thankful for the relationship they have with each other.

They have stayed together when falling apart has become the norm.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Elizabeth

2012-02-04T17:03:00.001-06:00

We haven't caught too many smiles on camera yet.

sometimes she's pretty serious

this one made me laugh

it begs a caption, don't you think??

Leave me your idea in the comments, would you?

All I can think of is, "Whatchyou talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

from the show Different Strokes.

Best Buddies

2012-02-04T16:29:00.001-06:00

These two are best buddies,

Elijah and Gideon.

Gideon's daddy is our Pastor Brett.

This was taken in the nursery where I was getting Elizabeth ready on her baptism day.

Elizabeth's Baptism--In Pictures, with Some Words

2012-02-04T16:25:00.000-06:00

Elizabeth was baptized last Sunday.

These are a bunch of pictures, not in any real order--sometimes blogger is hard to work with.

Our friends Mark and Sara are E's sponsors.

Mark is also one of our pastors.

We are blessed to be friends with both of our pastors and their families.

Pastor Brett did the baptism,

or, as Ruby calls it, "bath-tism."

Dennis and I and Linnea along with my mom and with Pastor Mark's older daughters all sang.

Nathaniel played guitar, too, but is off to the left and thus out of the shot.

Elizabeth with her god-mother, Sara

Pastor Brett and us

Elijah

Pastor Mark and Sara's son Isaac and our Bipper.

This picture cracks. me. up.

Ruby and Hannah (another of Pastor Mark and Sara's daughters)

Linnea with her cousin and her best friend Amy

My boys chatting it up with my dad

Elizabeth with her godparents, our friends Mark and Sara

lunch!!

My bearded boy Nathaniel and Ivy Joy

Mark and Sara's Andrew and our Andrew

as my brother said, Ivy loves the camera, and it loves her!

Elizabeth's cake. Elizabeth was hungry, but not for cake.

Ruby found an air vent that made her twirly dress even twirlier :)

My mom made Elizabeth's dress,

as she has done for our other girls.

Beautiful!!

Thanks to Emily for being our "photographer" at church that day!

Snow Play

2012-02-04T16:00:00.000-06:00

Ruby making a snowball!

Cheese!!

Ivy loved being pulled around!

Pretty snow baby

Squinting into the sun,

Elijah prefers to leave his coat unzipped.

Members of my family who read my blog may recognize his hat--

can you guess to whom it belonged??

A Face I Love to Wake Up To

2012-02-04T08:06:00.000-06:00

Why I Will Never, EVER Support Planned Parenthood

2012-02-03T20:27:00.001-06:00

Please read this.

Please.

Planned Parenthood kills babies.

I Told You She's Wild!

2012-02-03T06:24:00.001-06:00

Ivy, modeling her new outfit, an early birthday gift from Auntie Bethany and Uncle Mike.

She is most certainly our Wild Child!

Watch Out!

2012-02-02T17:28:00.000-06:00

Seriously--not much surprises me anymore.

Today is the Day

2012-02-01T08:22:00.000-06:00

Today is the day Isaiah celebrates his 14th birthday!

I will be taking him and Nathaniel (and Elizabeth, of course) out for lunch

and then we'll be going to Fleet Farm (you know--the Man's Mall)

to pick out his birthday gift.

Today is also the day my mom celebrates her birthday!

(I had only gotten her a card that year, and so decided to have a baby to take it up a notch.)

Since birth stories are rather fresh on my mind,

I'll recount Isaiah's.

The day before his birth was a Saturday. I remember that I felt "off" all that day,

alternately needing to lay down on the couch and then having spurts of energy in which I cleaned house and entertained an almost-two-year-old Nathaniel.

Aw, who am I kidding? He probably just sat and played blocks or his treasured Winnie the Pooh figures. He was really good at playing by himself.

Maybe he just watched several episodes of Barney, for that matter.

(One fun thing about having babies that "span the ages" is the difference in trends over sixteen years--my youngers don't even know who Barney is! Barney the purple dinosaur, that is. They DO know who Barney Fife is. We love classic tv shows. Barney the dinosaur is not classic tv. Andy Griffith is. Clearly, I digress.)

Late into the evening, I did make a call to the ob floor of the hospital to talk about what was going on.
See, with Nathaniel, everything was text book. The contractions felt just like what I had been told they would feel like. They followed an increasingly consistent pattern. I knew I was in labor.
Not so with Number Two.
Dennis would pop his head in the door throughout the day to see how I was doing.
I couldn't tell him any more than that I just felt off.
Hence the call to OB.

She advised taking a bath to see what happened.
Well, by 10:00 pm, contractions hadn't really picked up, but they hadn't slowed down either.
I felt heavy, and I guess some intuition kicked in--
even though I wasn't experiencing "classic" indications of labor, I knew that I was indeed in labor.

We called my parents who came over to stay with Nathaniel.
We headed out the door by about 11:00, putting us in the parking lot of the hospital by 11:30.
We then waited in the parking lot until after midnight so as not to get charged for an extra day.
Yes, you read that right.

We got checked in and got settled in to the room.
I was all set to "go natural" with no pain medication so that's what we did.
(I had let them give me "a little something" to take the edge off when Nathaniel was born. Dennis said it wonked me out and didn't like seeing me like that. I remember being really hazy and fully agreed that mind-altering drugs and birthing should not go hand-in-hand.)

I handled contractions fairly well, but they were sure getting intense.
I started to hyper-ventilate.
Not like how you see on tv, with gasping and wheezing, but because I was doing my Lamaze breathing (which I have since abandoned) so well, I was basically over-breathing and my arms, hands, and face were all getting tingly.
My nurse gave me a bag and then a wet washcloth to breathe through and that helped.

Nearing the end of labor, but not knowing that I was close,
I was beginning to lose my confidence that I could do it.
To heck with no pain meds--this hurt and I wanted some!
I told the nurse that I was wanting some pain meds now and she said it was too late--they wouldn't kick in in time and only the baby would get drugged and not me.

I was disappointed at the time, thinking "how am I going to do this??!!"
but in retrospect I am so glad that this happened because it was the turning point for me.
Because I "couldn't" have pain meds, I learned that I COULD birth a baby without them!

When I thought I couldn't possibly take it anymore,
Isaiah was born at 4:58 am.
8 lbs. even, with lots of dark blonde hair.
Our life hasn't been the same since!
He has challenged everything I know (I thought I knew) about children and parenting.

I can hardly believe 14 years have gone by--I must have blinked.

Happy Birthday, Isaiah,
and to Grandma Cindy, too!

Just Another Ordinary Morning

2012-01-27T21:44:00.000-06:00

"Who spilled apple juice on the kitchen floor???" I hear Linnea say. She begins to grab for some towels to wipe it up.

It is suggested that it was maybe Ruby.
We tried to figure out how that happened...Ruby doesn't usually take anything out of the fridge and she had finished her breakfast and juice much earlier.

But wait--as I was coming to the kitchen, I recall seeing Ruby in her room changing her clothes.

Super-sleuth that I am, I started putting two and two together.

"Linnea? Wait...I, uh, don't think that's apple juice..."

Yes. Ruby had pottied on the floor.

At least no one had slipped in it.

No wonder people envy my cute little life.

Elijah Had an Idea...

2012-01-21T07:51:00.001-06:00

Elijah was loving on Elizabeth, making silly noises for her and watching her smile at him,

when he turned to me and asked,

"Mom? Next time could we just buy a baby? That way we wouldn't have to wait so long for it to come out of your tummy."

What's Changed?

2012-01-20T06:34:00.003-06:00

One might think that having a new baby is old hat around here.
To a degree, that's true--we're pretty used to welcoming a new one.
But on the other hand, a new baby is still just that--new.
It's always an adjustment when a new baby joins our family.

So let's see...what has changed since Elizabeth's birth?

I've brought my dryer out of retirement. It was necessary. For the first couple weeks, I used it regularly. Now the old gal is in semi-retirement; I hang up about 75% of the laundry, condensing loads to only run the dryer for what's left.
I sleep late. I don't care. If I've been up several times through the night with the baby, I will sleep in. Linnea and Andrew are able to handle things while I get through the shower and get the baby fed and dressed for the day.
Elizabeth is finally getting her days/nights straightened out. The first three weeks were absolutely AWFUL. She was up ALL night. I was a wreck--an absolute WRECK. I had not slept for about the last three weeks of my pregnancy with her, so that made six weeks of no sleep. I'm feeling much more human and much less desperate.
We've eaten more macaroni and cheese than we have, well, since Ivy's birth. You do whatcha gotta do.
We're back to baby-gear-all-over-the-place. The boppy pillow, the bouncy seat, the bassinet, the carseat, the baby bathtub, blankets, burp rags and pacifiers.

Some things, though, never change.

the children LOVE the new baby. Elijah loves to "pet" her hair and it's difficult for anyone else to get a chance to hold her because Elijah, Christopher, and Ruby are constantly wanting to!
I LOVE my new baby. :) It continues to amaze what a miracle life is. That she once grew within me and is completely dependent on me for her survival is an awesome thing. I hope I never take that for granted.

Love Mulitiplied

2012-01-19T06:53:00.012-06:00

I've heard people express their sympathies to the baby of a large family,

supposing that the poor thing must not get any attention--is hardly held or talked to.

Poor baby could hardly compete in such a large crowd.

It has been my experience that

nothing could be farther than the truth.

Elizabeth could probably count on one hand (if she could count, that is) the number of minutes she's been left "un-attended."

In fact, I feel bad for my older kids who, when they were babies, had to wait until Mama could come to them like if I was in the shower or making supper.

Elizabeth always has someone to hold her.

If she happens to be sleeping in her little bassinet (and not in someone's arms), she needs only to sound the slightest little whimper and--no kidding--you had better stand aside because one of the kids will be literally running to her rescue.

Poor baby?

I think not.

Oh Baby!

2012-01-18T19:52:00.003-06:00

Elizabeth is delighted with all the people who love her.

She has been delighting us with her smiles.

We are smitten...

Wordless Wednesday: Can You Feel the Love?

2012-01-18T06:36:00.000-06:00

Eating a Not-so-tasty Helping of Crow

2012-01-17T17:52:00.001-06:00

During the last days of my pregnancy with Elizabeth, I was pretty outspoken with all my non-interventionist birth "theology".

Babies come on their own if left alone.
Too much fear is propagated when a mother is "overdue".
Breaking water is a risky intervention.
Cutting the cord too soon causes problems for baby by forcing them to breathe on their own immediately rather than transitioning more slowly.
Having cut the cord too soon, babies often need oxygen because they turn blue because they weren't ready to breathe on their own. Pure oxygen, however, basically fries their brand-new lungs, often causing respiratory issues that affect them for years to come.
Babies transition best when right next to mom, the one-and-only they've ever known.
I don't need a doctor to tell me how to have a healthy pregnancy.

In this post, and perhaps in others, I somewhat vilified obstetricians and made it sound like having a midwife will assure you of having a great delivery.

Guess what?
I was wrong.

And now, I must eat some crow.

If I heard it once, I bet I heard it fifteen times when having Elizabeth: "It's hospital policy."

Even though I had a midwife, hospital policy seemed to over-ride everything.
Even though I had a midwife, there was intense pressure to deliver once I reached 40 weeks.
Even though I had a midwife, I had a drug-free induction by sweeping the membranes.
Even though I had a midwife, an amniotomy was done to help Elizabeth come sooner.
Even though I had a midwife, she did a few routine things that are typically associated with an obstetrician, like cutting the cord immediately. To be fair, that maybe had something to do with the hostile nurses that were there. I don't know. Also, applying traction on the cord while waiting for the placenta to be delivered is something that surprised (shocked?) both me and my doula Megan.
Even though I delivered with a midwife, my baby was kept away from me and given oxygen to help her breathe after her cord was, in my opinion, cut too soon.

When this all became clear to me, I likened it to my feelings about home education. One might think that because I don't use the public school for our children's educations, that I don't like teachers. Far be it! There are many caring, committed, concerned and even Christian men and women who are public school teachers. I don't have anything "against" them--it's the system I have a problem with.

As far as the midwife vs. obstetrician goes, I know that there are many ob's who would gladly listen to the wishes of the parents and would be happy to help babies be born with no "routine" intervention.
However, because of hospital policy, aka "the system", they know they must be more concerned with CYA* medical practices.
*CYA=Cover Your uhhhh, rear end

It becomes so much more about the liability and litigation.
It's disgusting.

And so, I apologize.
I'm sorry if I made it sound like midwives are the best and obstetricians are the worst.

Even though there are many ob's who believe pregnancy, labor and birth are just catastrophes waiting to happen, I believe that there are many ob's who are even less-interventionist than some midwives (referred to with tongue-in-cheek as "med-wives").

In the end, what it really comes down to is finding a care provider that you trust.
And I have--I've trusted the doctors that I've gone to with my first 8 pregnancies.
I trusted my midwife.

The hospital?
Notsomuch.

It leaves women with very few options.
That is so disappointing to me because if you're only choice is to deliver in a hospital, hospital policy will determine much of what happens unless you have done some extensive homework and are prepared to "sign-off" on what you don't want done to you or your child.

Many things are presented as "law" or "required" that just plain aren't--are not law and are not required. Strongly recommended, perhaps, but not required.

Regarding Elizabeth's birth specifically, it's not so much about me not getting what I wanted, but about getting so much of what I didn't want.

All of that wasn't because I had a midwife and not an ob--it was very much about where the baby was born. Hospital policy...

I don't know if this makes any sense to any of you, but I just needed to get that off my chest.
edited to add:
Ironically, I came across this post tonight.

Preparing for a Natural Hospital Birth

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

My Wild Child

2012-01-16T20:55:00.000-06:00

I'm Blessed: By Mommy Friends

2012-01-16T12:45:00.001-06:00

It's been some time since I joined in on Gretchen's

I'm Blessed blog par-tay.

Today, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have the friends that I do.

Friends of ours from Wisconsin came to visit us on Saturday.

While I sat visiting with my friend Laurie,

I became acutely aware of how many of my sentences began with "my friend Gretchen"

or "my friend Theresa" or "my friend Megan" or "my friend Monica" (who has no blog!!)

and how much they have influenced my life.

In all my yammering away to Laurie, I referenced several times my homeschool mom's meeting that I had just attended a couple evenings before.

I am so blessed by the ladies who serve on the board with me and by the ladies that come to our meetings--

I left the meeting last time so refreshed, thinking where else can I sit and laugh (or cry) about stuff like this--all while nursing a baby?

We talk about our struggles and successes with homeschooling and being a wife and mother.

Knowing that these ladies have a relationship with the Lord makes it that much sweeter.

Of course as busy mommies, we rarely have time to get together,

but my friends who brought meals when Elizabeth was born (and even BEFORE!)

blessed me beyond measure.

One of Satan's tools is to alienate--

he uses this on me often.

On my worst days, I'm convinced I'm all alone.

But I DO have friends--another Megan, Lisa, Diane, Karen, Sally, Denise, Sara, two Angies, Carrie--many more than I could possibly mention or link to here! (I know I'm leaving some out--if you're my friend and your name isn't listed here, please know I appreciate you, too!)

My aunts and my cousin are wonderful life-long friends to me.

I love them, and they are an incredible blessing to me.

They have reached out to me, some have prayed for me, and all have encouraged me.

I love that we are not all the same--

some of my friends have 1 or 2 kids, some have more.

Some of my friends work outside the home, some do not.

Some are older than me, some younger, and some my age.

We can be different and still be friends!

(Isn't this what we teach our kids??)

I'm so thankful for friends!

On Writing

2012-01-15T15:07:00.004-06:00

I write a lot of posts that you never see.
It's not that they are too private or too bold.
It's not that I write them and then change my mind about publishing them.

It's because I write them when I'm in the shower.
I write them when I drive.
I write them when I'm feeding the baby, when I'm giving the kids a bath, and when I'm falling asleep at night.

They are all grammatically correct, insightful, and oh-so-witty.
The trouble is, they are all written in my head.

And when I come to the computer thinking I'll remember what it was that I had "written"--they're gone.
*sigh*

To Answer Your Questions

2012-01-14T12:14:00.001-06:00

In Elizabeth's Birth Story Part 2, The Mom asked some questions.

Who announced her gender? And did you already have a girl name picked out?

I answer.

Jen, my midwife, said something like "Baby's here!" and held her in such a way for Dennis to announce the gender. He was busy looking at me.
This picture, though the angle is straight-on, is what he was doing. I like this one.

Finally, Jen was like, "If you don't tell her what it is, I WILL!!"
She was so excited.

He told me we had a girl and I was so surprised. I was so convinced she was a boy. SO convinced.

However, we did have a girl name picked out. We had two, actually. The middle name would have remained the same with either first name. I won't tell you what else we had picked out, because I'm kind of freakishly private about baby's names before they are born.

Our boy name and the other girl name remains on our "list" which is kept only in my head. :-)

Now you know.

Elizabeth's Birth Story Part 3

2012-01-13T14:51:00.000-06:00

If you haven't already, you may (or may not) want to read Part 1 and Part 2 before you begin this third installment of Elizabeth's birth story. :-)

Labor and delivery with Elizabeth is really the most un-eventful part of her arrival. Had that been the end of the story, so to speak, I think my whole outlook would have been quite different. I think I would have had much more of a "ahhhhh, she's finally here!" satisfaction that perhaps would have helped to dissipate some of the disappointment about having to deliver in a hospital rather than at home.

However, once she was out, it got worse.

Even though I had asked to delay cutting her cord until it had stopped pulsing, it was cut right away. I'm not sure how or why that happened, if my MW just got caught up in the moment or what. But before I could even say anything, it was done.
Elizabeth quickly turned very dusky. She was on me and the nurse, my MW, and I were all rubbing on her to pink her up but it became obvious that she needed some help over at the warmer from some oxygen.

I believe that had she not been forced to breathe on her own so quickly (letting the umbilical cord do it's job awhile longer), she would not have had the trouble transitioning that she did. She would then have been able to be close to me and make the switch from "inside" to "outside" more comfortably.
Of course, I could be wrong. What do I know--I'm just the mom.

She was then moved quickly over the warmer and to receive some oxygen.

Here's where the "fun" began.

The pediatrician on-call was quickly summoned to the room to check on her. I've been told that he is very pathology-minded. What I mean by that is that he is more of the mindset that if it could possibly go wrong, we need to rule out every possibility. Tests, panic, scare-tactics, more tests, more grave concern.
She was a bit shaky--many post-date babies are.
Many can quickly regulate their blood sugar simply being put to the breast as quickly as possible. I have experienced this with a couple of my other children. The nurse and doctor that I had at that time explained it to me and baby was feeding at less than five minutes old.
At this new hospital I was at, they wouldn't let me feed her. They wanted to run some tests on her first. I asked for her and was completely ignored. Had it been just me there, I would have convinced myself that they surely just had not heard me. When I asked again to just hold her, I got the same response. The two nurses over near the warmer wouldn't even turn around. Complete stonewall. I looked at Dennis and at Megan incredulously--they looked at me the same way. (My MW had to leave to get home to her kids right after E was born because her sitter had to go home.) Then I knew that there was no way those nurses had not heard me, they were ignoring me--and I think I know why.

As soon as Elizabeth had been whisked to the warmer, the barrage of questions began.
"What is your GBS status?"
I answered that I had not had that test.
She gaped at me and said, "You didn't have the test."
I said no; she stared at me still and then said flatly, "Okay."

This heightened their concern to a new level (what GBS has to do with blood sugar, I'm not sure.)
"Did she have a fever during delivery? What was her temp? Does anyone know mom's temp? Anyone?"
The questions were flying fast and furious.
I responded from across the room that my temperature had been 96.8. This settled them down a bit.

They asked what the results of my glucose screen had been; I told them I had not done that, either.
No 20 week ultrasound, either.

As far as they were concerned, I was batting ZERO.
I was scoring no points with them at all! They seemed to have convinced themselves that I was an irresponsible mother for not having tested for everything imaginable.

(disclaimer: if you do those tests, obviously that's quite up to you. I choose not to do much of that, and that is quite up to me. I promise I do not make decisions thoughtlessly.)

Back to asking for my baby...Dennis then said, in his big Dad's voice, "She'd really like to hold the baby." The nurse finally turned in a I-guess-we-can't-keep-acting-like-we-don't-here-them sort of way and said that I could hold her, but not feed her until lab came up.
The nurse that was near me was, at this same time, making her way over to Elizabeth, saying "I think we'll let Baby come to Mommy now..." and it was obvious that she was lower on the totem-pole than the other two ladies, because it was said in an asking permission sort of way.
It's hard to type out all the nuances of the whole situation--I hope this is making a modicum of sense.
I could tell she felt bad because I was sitting there crying, so disappointed, shaking my head and whispering, "I didn't want all this...I didn't want all this..." to Dennis and Megan, and to myself, too, I guess.

Elizabeth had just been laying there in the warmer--the nurses had stopped with oxygen for several minutes and she was just laying there crying. Had they still been "working on her" I wouldn't have intervened, but she was just laying there, all alone. It was, quite obviously, the farthest she and I had been away from one another in her whole life. I wanted her near, and she wanted to be near me. She quieted as soon as she was in my arms.
She rooted around, obviously hungry, and I still don't know why I didn't say to heck with you, Mean Nurse Lady and just feed my baby. It's the non-confrontational part of my personality, I guess.
But I didn't, I just held her close and tried to put a smile on my face. And I did--put a smile on my face.
See?

We waited until the lab lady came, who looked amazingly like Estelle Getty who played Sophia on The Golden Girls.
She needed to do a heel-stick to check E's glucose levels. It was brought up that we had to wait for her to come before I could feed the baby and she said, "What? We never do a glucose test without a first feeding on board."
Nice.

She then assumed, taking in my youthful appearance (HA!!!), that this was my first baby. I said, "No, she's my ninth."
This stopped her in her tracks.
She looked up at us over her Estelle Getty glasses and said, "You're not trying to keep up with that Duggar family, are you?" (except she pronounced it Doo-gar.)
Dennis said, "What if we are?"
(We're not--it's not a competitive sport, you know.)

She just laughed and finished her work.

She left and I was finally able to just feed and snuggle my new baby.

Megan, Dennis and I then re-hashed everything that had just taken place.
I needed to sort it all out in my mind, 1) because it had gone fast 2) so much happened that I hadn't wanted and 3) it was a lot to take in.

Megan went home and I took a quick bath and then we were moved over to a postpartum room. Elizabeth just stayed close to me all through the night until very early in the morning, I did let them take her to the nursery for a thorough bath and such and I slept while she was gone for a bit.

In the morning, Jen (my midwife) stopped by before going over to her clinic. We were able to talk about what had happened the night before.
She said, "Remember when you first came to see me how I said this was a very midwife and mother friendly hospital? Yeah, well, of ALL the nurses you could have gotten, you ended up with the two who are the most hostile to midwifery. You could have had 12 other ones and had no problem! When I walked into your room last night, I was like, 'ooooooooooohhhhh no.' "

I don't know what we will do if the Lord grants a next time, because she told us that morning she was moving away. I don't know if we'll "follow" her to her new location or not. There is talk of a birthing center coming to our area; maybe that will be an option for us.
I won't be going back to the hospital where Elizabeth was born.

We left the hospital that afternoon amid much surprise that we were leaving "so early"--less than 24 hours after birth. She was born just after eight the night before, and we started the process of leaving at about 2:00 the next afternoon. Of course, that process takes quite awhile so it was more like 4 before we were out the door.
I felt good and we had so much at home that needed us, too, so it was a good choice.

My postpartum issues that I have struggled with in past pregnancies have been much better. I credit taking B vitamins for this and am so thankful to another mommy friend who suggested that to me.

Even though Elizabeth was COMPLETELY turned around for a good three weeks, this past week she has slept much better at night which has been wonderful.
She turned one month old yesterday.
I say this every time, but it seems as if she was just born yesterday and yet has been with us forever.

I have another post coming up in which I will explain how I will have to eat some of my own outspoken words. That's going to be a fun one for me to write...or not. But I will write it!

Wordless Wednesday: Giggles

2012-01-11T06:31:00.003-06:00

Elizabeth's Birth Story Part 2

2012-01-10T20:01:00.000-06:00

As I was saying in Part 1, I had decided that I'd better get to work.

I had been so excited at the option of a water birth, I had stayed up late into the nights preceding her birth reading about birthing in water, and yet somehow had never expressed this to Dennis, Megan, or Jen.
Oops.
By the time I asked about possibly getting into the tub there, Jen (the midwife) felt that the baby would be here before the tub filled.
Instead of getting excited about the proximity of meeting my child, I was disappointed again! It seemed to be a recurring theme...
I had been in lighter spirits for a time during my labor with her...like when the nurses cleared the room and left us alone, Dennis bumped into the sterile table, knocking over the contents. I told him it reminded me of something Don Knots would have done.
Most of the contractions I had I handled by "hanging" from Dennis' neck and swaying from side to side. As he had a migraine, he said the pressure of my hands gripping the back of his neck actually felt good for him. It was a win-win.
I also found that sitting on the birth ball was very helpful--I had done this with both Ruby and Ivy, too.

After some minutes, it was suggested that I try using the birth stool, which I had never done. I thought I could give it a try, and did, but did not like it. I wonder if perhaps they are not the best for plus-size women? It's just my theory. I did labor for a time upon it, but right before the baby was born, Jen could see I was not impressed using it and asked if I would prefer to birth the baby in the bed. As I'd delivered all the others that way, I said yes, and that's what we did.

It only took a couple pushes and she was here!

I had completely convinced myself that the baby was a boy so that's pretty much what I said over and over again: I thought it was going to be a boy...

We had seen the midwife at 3pm, swept membranes at 4, labor began mildly at 6:15. At 7:45, Jen checked and I was at 9cm with no consistent contraction pattern. She said the only thing holding this baby back was a big bag of water. After some discussion, I agreed for her to break the water. Things moved quickly then and she was born at 8:16 pm. Not a bad schedule. (The overdue part wasn't a fun part of the schedule, but the quickness of labor was a plus!)

There is some more to the story I'd like to write about, so I guess there will be a part 3.

And if you're thinking, that took her a whole week to write that?!?! , the answer is:
Yes.
Yes it did.
My mind has been on a bit of a grammatical sabbatical lately.
(Ha, ha! I crack me up.)

Elizabeth's Birth Story Part 1

2012-01-03T07:12:00.001-06:00

This post is a tough one for me to write.

I was hoping to have some great experience to talk about, but I don't really.
(Many of the following details will be of interest to few people but myself,
but I write them here to be a sort of record for me and for Elizabeth, too.)

To start with, I was a bit overdue.
Even though I told myself (and others) over and over again that I wasn't too concerned at being overdue, the truth is, all the "what-ifs" were starting to niggle in the back of my mind .
These "what-ifs" plague me all throughout each pregnancy,
but seemed to intensify the last several weeks this time.
It was hard to stay focused on just preparing to have my baby when I was reminded at every turn just how overdue I was and all the risks, etc.

I was worried, and yet I wasn't.
Makes sense, right?

And so...
I called my midwife per our agreement when Monday arrived and my baby remained INside.
I had had a non-stress test the Monday before and that is what was recommended for this day as well.
When I called my midwife she said it was funny that I was calling because she had just gotten off the phone with the hospital who had called her wondering what the scoop was on me--her "42 week-er" who had not delivered at their hospital yet.

Jen (my MW) said to come down anytime between 1 and 3.
I was agitated and distracted and I was irritated with my husband (don't even remember why) that day.
I waited for him to finish trying to fix the skid loader and then we set off on the 45 minute drive to the clinic.
I did bring along the camera and my bag, "just in case" we stayed.
Afterward, in talking with a friend whose baby was 2 weeks overdue, she recalled how she had pretty much convinced herself that her baby was never really going to be born--that she would just stay pregnant forever. It put words to just how I'd been feeling! That was my thought process that day--I knew we were going to an appointment, that there was a (seemingly remote) possibility that the baby could be born, but it was really more likely that I'd just be pregnant forever. It was as if I couldn't entertain the thought that I'd be having a baby that day because it would get my hopes up again and I didn't have the emotional stamina to be let down again.

We checked in at the desk after a conversation-less drive.
(I was a really charming lady that day--delightful, in fact.)
While seated in the waiting room, I said to Dennis,
"I am NOT stepping on that scale."
Moments later, the unsuspecting nurse called us back.
She stopped expectantly at the scale, waiting for me to step up on it.
I said, "I don't want to."
She nervously giggled and...waited.
Dennis said, "She just told me in the waiting room that she didn't want to be weighed today."
She nervously giggled again and...waited.

Though I didn't say it out loud (that I know of) my body language probably conveyed a great big
"FINE."
I stepped on the horrible scale and watched her ratchet the number increasingly to the right.
And then,
I burst out crying.
I shoved my big feet back into my slippers (I hadn't fit into my shoes for many weeks)
and tried to find my way to the exam room through the tears that were blurring my eyes and running down my cheeks;
the same tears that were bewildering the poor nurse
and leaving my husband feeling quite helpless to know what to do with me.

Once in the room, I sat there, looking at my feet and wiping at my tears, while the nurse took my blood pressure and ventured her first words since my emotional otburst:
"You're just ready to done...aren't you."

*snif*
"Yes."

Hooked to the monitor and waiting for Jen to come in,
I felt like such a patient.
I just wanted to be a pregnant mama.
It was very difficult for me to come to terms with the point at which I had arrived--
needing some extra monitoring...intervention.
I felt so defeated.

When Jen came in, we discussed some options.
With more crying from me, we eventually decided to do a sweep of the membranes.
She then advised us not to leave town, to walk around the mall for a bit because she felt things could happen fairly quickly.
This was at about 4:00; she said to wait around and call her at about 6:00 to touch base and see how things were going.

I did have some things I needed at the fabric store in the mall, so we went there.
Dennis was SO EXCITED to trail along with me!
Except he wasn't.
He had a migraine and was bored out of his mind.
I told him to just go wait in the car and I would call him if I needed him.

I wandered around the store, called my mom to give her an update,
she offered to go get the younger kids and take them to their house for the night.
I was getting discouraged that contractions hadn't really started up,
and so I checked out at the register and began to walk to the car.
Dennis had decided to wait inside the mall,
and as I walked to him and we began to walk to the car
I had some strong contractions.

He was on the phone and I was irritated about that so I didn't really say anything to him.
(Just being honest...)
We had already decided to have supper at Subway
so we made our way over there.
I waited and waited--STARVING away to practically nothing--
(a lot had changed since my weigh-in?)
while he finished his conversation in the Subway parking lot before going in to get our sandwiches.
I decided to call my friend and doula, Megan,
and talk things over with her.
While we spoke, I had some more contractions and then decided to call Jen.

Dennis came back with the sandwiches before I had a chance to call her
so we ate in relative silence, me not drinking the pop he had not bought me, but I wasn't bitter.
I wish I would have been in a better mood, but I was still having a hard time coming to terms with having to have a hospital birth instead of the homebirth I had my mind and heart so set upon.

We made our way over to the hospital parking lot while I spoke to Jen on the phone.
Knowing it can take quite some time to get checked in to the hospital,
even when you've sent them all the pre-registration papers,
we went in.

This was a new hospital for us, so I didn't even know exactly where we were supposed to go.
Getting checked in, answering all the questions,
ie, do you wear dentures, do you have tuberculosis, do you feel safe, are you wearing jewelry, are you having a contraction now? How about now? Now?
and all I could think was
"I didn't want this. I don't want to be here."
People I didn't know, a strange place...so much of what I didn't want.

Finally, knowing that train of thought was getting me nowhere,
I decided that birthing this baby was what I had to do.

This story is getting rather long, though, so I'll divide it into more than one post.
And in case I forget, do remind me to tell you about Elizabeth's "day before."

Meeting Great-Grandpa and Grandma

2012-01-02T11:10:00.001-06:00

Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Cutie

2011-12-28T06:53:00.000-06:00

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2011-12-27T21:03:00.000-06:00

I'm working on getting some posts written that have several words in them.
Maybe even a paragraph.
Maybe even more than one paragraph.

But for now it'll have to be just a few pictures of my new baby.

Enjoy.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-21T10:50:00.000-06:00

These Cheeks

2011-12-20T08:35:00.001-06:00

Aren't they great???

A Common Theme: Elizabeth Sleeps

2011-12-19T18:27:00.000-06:00

Baby Elizabeth sleeps.

A lot.

During the day, that is.

At night is a whole 'nother story.

I do not sleep a lot.

At night or during the day.

Hopefully we get us both sleeping at the "right" times of the day/night soon.

Baby Elizabeth is Here

2011-12-13T22:27:00.000-06:00

Elizabeth Grace

9 lbs. 4 oz.

21 1/2 inches

8:16 pm

12-12-11

We got home about 5:00 today.

I'll write about her birth soon!

Let's Talk, Shall We?

2011-12-12T01:41:00.000-06:00

I took off the little baby ticker that was on my sidebar.

It was a little creepy that the baby disappears after 40 weeks.

('Cause that doesn't really happen in real life, you know.)

Also, it was causing a lot of people to freak out that I haven't delivered this baby yet.

Let me let you in on a little secret:

I had two due dates.

One was based on my last cycle date,

the other on conception date.

(At this point you may well want to stick an index finger in each ear

and sing la, la, la, la-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.

I'll wait until you're ready.)

Since the time between Elijah and Ruby,

the length between my cycles has increased from 28.5 days

to more like 38 days.

It was like that between Elijah and Ruby,

Ruby and Ivy,

and between Ivy and this baby.

BUT,

the medical community will only use the date of the last menstrual period.

Believe me,

I've tried to tell them that my due dates should be later.

To that, my ob said,

"Welllll, it'd just be easier to use the lmp date..., so we'll just write that one down, ok?"

All through this pregnancy

I have told myself and many, many others

that I would not be surprised to go into December.

So, why did I even use the November date?

I guess the easiest way for me to explain it is this:

You know how some people leave a clock or watch set five minutes ahead?

To sort of trick themselves into leaving early,

even though they know the clock is ahead?

Yeah, it was kind of like that.
(That, and the fact that it's kind of a long story to relay in passing
at the grocery store or while shaking hands at church.)

Even though I had longer cycles with Ruby and Ivy,

I stayed with their doctor-given due dates.

Ruby was a week early,

Ivy a week late.

You may not remember (or even care)

that I did not do "routine" ob visits with this pregnancy.

It wasn't until 30 weeks or so that I met my midwife.

She and I are using a due date of December 6th, based off the d.o.c.--

still over due, but not by as much.

Does that make you feel better?

It does me.

(Ok, ok, most of the time it makes me feel better--unless you count the few times I have sat in my room and sobbed because this baby is not born YET!! Dennis has had a front row seat to this and I think it only serves to increase men's assessment that women are indeed a complicated creature.)

You can look it up anywhere--

normal gestation is anywhere from 37-42 weeks.

Roughly 10 % of babies are born at 42 weeks.

I promise I am being vigilant about monitoring baby's movements and

I am in contact with my midwife.

Please don't think me reckless for going "so long"--

it's funny to me (not funny ha ha but funny hmmmmm)

that all the interventions are considered "safe"
but going a few days over my due date is somehow endangering my child's life.

Trust me--
no one wants to greet this newest baby more than me.
Ok, well, Ruby, Linnea, Christopher and Elijah would be right up there,
but my point is this:
if it gets to the point where I am no longer comfortable with being overdue,
I will consider the options available to help things along.

For now,
I'm spending a lot of time sewing, crocheting,
trying to breathe, putting my feet up,
and wondering if we'll be washing up the blue clothes or the pink.

There now--I'm glad that's off my chest.

Pressure Points

2011-12-09T19:23:00.000-06:00

There's a lot of pressure when you're over your due date.

Today, however,

I experienced a different kind of pressure--

I went to our chiropractor and he paid extra attention

to the pressure points

that can help labor along.

I hope it helps!!!

The OB and the Midwife

2011-12-08T23:26:00.001-06:00

Anonymous left a comment saying: Perhaps its none of my business, but you are WAY overdue and being it is your 9th child, I would be very concerned. Are you in constant contact with your physician??????????????

I appreciate your concern, Anonymous.

I really do.

Your comment is part of what prompted me to write my post yesterday.

Today, I got to thinking about the words

"constant contact" with my physician....

To back up a bit,

I recently ended up needing to call our family doctor (who is also the OB I had) with a question I had about one of the children.

I don't know how it is at other clinics,

but at ours, you can't call and speak to the doctor.

(This doesn't surprise me; it's probably like that at many clinics.)

It used to be you could call and speak to the nurse who would in turn speak to the doctor and then call you back.

Now they've changed it so you can only call the appointment desk and request a call back from the nurse, leaving a brief explanation with the receptionist.

I waited for two and a half hours for a call back, and the nurse wasn't even his regular nurse.

I don't know her and she didn't know me.

I then had to ask her my question,

which she then asked of the doctor,

and then the nurse called me back another hour later.

There is no such thing as constant contact with a physician.

In contrast,

my midwife (who works at a different clinic) called me at home last week to tell me her husband was going to be out of town for four days, and if I did go into labor, could I please call her cell phone (she'd given me the number two weeks before) to let her know we'd be heading in so she would have enough time to get someone to watch her kids.

At each of my appointments,

she has stressed the freedom to just call her (directly!) with any questions or concerns.

What a difference.

And that, friends,

is yet another reason why I've become a believer in the midwifery model of care.

Yes and No

2011-12-07T22:58:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, I'm not "off" on my dates.

I'm certain of both my lmp and the conception date, in case you're really curious.

Yes, I'm aware of the "risks" of being pregnant "too long."

No, I'm not interested in an induction.

Though I have been induced once, I didn't know then what I know now.

Inductions are risky, too.

You may, of course, choose one for yourself--that would be your decision to make.

I would rather not--which would be my decision to make.

Yes, I have recently seen my midwife.

No, nothing is "wrong".

Babies come on their own time--not anyone else's--if they are let alone.

My blood pressure is fine, I have virtually no swelling,

Baby's heart tones are great.

There is no reason at this point to intervene.

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, I'm not a very patient person.

Waiting is hard--very hard for me.

Considering that I've been "ready" since about 38 weeks,

and up many, many nights timing contractions,

it is not only physically tiring, but mentally and emotionally tiring.

Yes, I'd really like to meet this baby face to face.

No, I don't take for granted that, for the time being, I can do something or go somewhere and not have to "worry" about feeding the baby every hour and a half.

Yes, I know I'm overdue.

No, the comment, "You're STILL PREGNANT???!!!" does not help.

What does help is a listening ear, a phone call/text/email/facebook post to let me know you're thinking of me and waiting to hear about the new baby.

I'm a pretty private person (makes total sense that I have a blog, then, doesn't it?)

and tend to get quite introverted as Baby's arrival draws near

so I may not always be up to answering the phone

but I will call you back.

I promise I will post it on facebook

and here on my blog

as soon as Baby comes out to meet us!

Am I ready?

Yes and no.

I have given three of my guys their haircuts; three to go.

I cleaned the garage, but the kitchen floor really needs to be washed.

I'm ready to take a deep breath again. I've forgotten what one feels like.

I'm ready to be rid of this horrible heartburn.

I'm cherishing the baby's kicks and rolls inside of me;

soon this babe will be rather independent.

I'm lovingly rubbing my big round tummy, knowing that it won't be long until a big round tummy causes me to cry while getting ready for church because nothing fits and the baby's crying to be fed and we're already 10 minutes late.

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, it can't be much longer now until we meet our newest child.

I Agree

2011-12-06T03:29:00.000-06:00

I find myself awake at all hours of the night

timing contractions that are leading up to the day when

we will meet this little girl or boy.

Sometimes, I read around on the internet

and often, I find some really interesting things to read.

this post

for example.

Love, love, love, it.

I whole-heartedly agree!

A Quick Note--

2011-12-05T09:30:00.000-06:00

--to say

that I'm still pregnant.

No baby news to share yet!

How I Spent the Day

2011-12-02T20:36:00.000-06:00

Today,

at nearly 41 weeks,

Crabby Me spent the day making sure my family

will not miss me--not even one little bit--

when this baby actually does decide to come

and I have to be gone at the hospital.

*sigh*

Isn't That Nice

2011-12-01T05:49:00.000-06:00

Oh, look.

It's December 1st.

And here I was, thinking perhaps I'd have a November baby.

Ha ha.

Ha.

Elijah's Workbook

2011-11-30T06:48:00.001-06:00

Like nearly all "preschoolers",
Elijah really wants to "do school" when the rest of the kids are.

Since I don't believe that formal schooling is necessary in the early years,
I don't buy curriculum for my younger-than-five-crowd.

That said, however, there are countless workbooks and worksheets available
that little ones like to do some work in--to "do some school" like the big kids.

One problem, though, is that nearly all of these are consumable.
I have bought some books with mazes or dot-to-dots
only to have them do all 25 pages in one sitting.

Yay for them,
but not yay for $$$$.

Another veteran homeschool mom suggested
that after buying a book, I tear out all the pages
and place them in page protectors in a 3-ring binder.
GENIUS!!!

I bought a zipper pouch to keep some
wet-erase markers in.
(you may remember these as what your teacher would use on an overhead projector)

When he is done with "school" for the day,
we can just wipe off the pages with a damp paper towel
and they are ready to go again for another day!!

What does Elijah think??

He likes it.
A lot!!

I Think I'll Say...

2011-11-29T20:51:00.000-06:00

I've decided that if anyone asks me if I usually go early or late, I'll answer like this:

"With five of the eight,

I've gone from four to ten days early.

Two out of the remaining three

have come within a day of their due date

and one came five days late."

And then?

I'll walk away while they try to figure that out.

(Just ask my poor husband--

I'm feeling a little snarky.)

"Preschool" Activities

2011-11-29T05:54:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer: I cringe at the term "preschoolers" and all that it implies.

However, as it's become such a part of our culture's vocabulary,

I''ll get over myself for today...

This year, I bought

Preschool Activities in a Bag

and I couldn't be happier with it!!!

It had been on my wish list for several years now

and when I visited Heppner's Legacy this month,

I saw it and knew this was my chance.

Ruby and Elijah have loved the ones I've put together for them.

In the pictures below,

Ruby has some beads on a half of a pipe cleaner.

I glued one bead on the end and then about 6 or 7 more that are removable.

(I raided Linnea's over-flowing bead box--didn't need to spend a dime!)

She takes off the beads (that aren't glued),

puts them in a bowl and then matches them back up with the correct pipe cleaner.

It keeps her busy and happy for a loooooooong time.

Yay for constructively busy little hands!

As You Can See...

2011-11-26T00:29:00.001-06:00

I'm 40 weeks

and

still pregnant.

and that's ok.
(Babies are a lot easier to care for on the INside!)

Works for Me Wednesday: I Retired My Dryer

2011-11-23T06:20:00.001-06:00

If you've read my blog for any length of time,

you know that I am a clothesline fanatic.

My mom always used a clothesline,

so I came by it naturally, I suppose. :)

It also just makes good sense (in my opinion)

to use the wind and fresh air to dry the laundry than to

spend money using electricity to do it.

But what do you do when it's rainy?

Or so cold the clothes will freeze?

Or the snow is just too deep for you to reach the line?

You can still hang up your clothes--inside.

I asked Dennis last winter how much he figured we spend per month just to run the dryer. He figured at least $50.

(We have a front-load HE washer, but still our original dryer that we got when we were first married. The washer has room for 3x what I used to be able to fit in our old washer, but the dryer couldn't keep up very well with 3x the amount of clothes in it. I was constantly running that thing because I had to split loads, which held up the laundry process. With this many people and dirty clothes--that laundry train has gotta keep movin'!)

I'm all about spending less when I can,

so I opted to quit using the dryer as much as possible.

I know that some people string a clothesline in their basement,

but this was not an option for me

so I spent about $3 on hangers at Wal-Mart and I hang the

clothes in closet doorways and bedroom doorways.

I also spent $20 on this rack (again at Wal-Mart)

for additional hanging space.

One can get a lot of little shirts on small hangers

hung onto one big hanger, as you can see.

This drying rack I've had for about 10 years.

Up until the "retirement" I'd used it for things that couldn't go in the dryer,

like any of the things I didn't want to shrink or fade

or if they were delicate.

I also recently decided to start hanging the diapers, too.

I do run them in the dryer for about 5-10 minutes just to fluff them a bit

and then hang them up.

For barn clothes,

I hung a shower curtain rod between two hooks in the laundry room

and they hang to dry in there.

The only things I use the dryer for now are towels,

because I simply don't have the space to hang them up inside the house.

Also, if someone desperately needs their jeans or something else dry to wear,

we can toss it in--

I"m not militaristic about it. :)

I just thought of all the other places fifty dollars could go

and decided that I could implement this change in our house.

Even if you decided to run the dryer half the time--

that's still a savings.

Something to think about!

I'm Doing the Best I Can

2011-11-22T15:16:00.000-06:00

Y'know--I'm doing the best I can.
Well, maybe not my very best every day, but I really do try and I work very hard to accomplish all that has been given me to do--and then some.

I cook {a lot}, I wash {a lot of} dishes, clothes, faces, hands, bodies, floors, and diapers.
I make the beds, sweep the floors, and vacuum.
I disciple, discipline, correct, and instruct the children.

And still--it's not enough.

Because if I don't return an email immediately, I'm ignoring emails.
And if I don't answer the phone every time it rings, I'm ignoring people who call.
If I can't come to every (or any) Bible studies, I'm ignoring my responsibilities to the church.
If I'm overcome with it all and lose my patience, I'm a terrible mother.
And if I am out and about, well, shouldn't we really be home doing school???

Sometimes I need to decline an invitation because I don't know how in the world I'll fit it in with all the other things I need to do--and my calendar is basically empty.

I know very, very few people who have a family even remotely similar to mine (I'm certain there are other larger-than-average homeschooling families that live and work on a dairy farm--I just don't know them personally).
This season of motherhood, child-rearing, and child-bearing is just not conducive to a lot of outside-the-home activities, especially if they are recurring over a period of time (ie, a weekly event). Few people understand this.

And so, I get criticized for staying home "too much", for not "going out" enough, for being a woman who finds fulfillment and peace and contentment staying at home.

I like being an at-home-mom, I like doing housework, I like taking care of my kids and teaching them.

Being a wife, living on a farm with children who have responsibilities outside, being a mother to many and growing another requires a lot of time and energy.

I'm tired.
Tired of trying to please everyone.
Tired of trying to explain to non- or mis-understanding ears why I am unable to do something or need to do it a different way.
Tired of being misrepresented and misunderstood.

I'm doing the best I can.
I really am.

And still, people get offended because of something I said or didn't say, something I did or didn't do, somewhere I went or didn't go.

It's so exhausting to have people hear things that I didn't say or read something here on my blog that I wasn't even saying.

I am a real person who struggles with real things in real life.
I enjoy real things and real people who lead real lives.

I put up with people that refer to my kids as "this one", "the other one", "what's-his-name" and "what-cha-ma-call-him".
I hear the comment when we arrive somewhere (in a big stage whisper) "Look--it's like a parade!" and I try to take it gracefully.

I know I cannot be responsible for how everyone else reacts to me, to my family, or to my blog; I know I have a responsibility to act courteously and respectfully--of this I am fully aware.
However, carrying the weight that belongs to others is just too heavy for me.

I don't have the strength to bear it anymore.
Because I'm tired, and there are other things that need my attention more.

10 Ways...

2011-11-22T06:35:00.004-06:00

I may have found a new blog to stalk...

Mama Birth

I love, love, LOVE these two posts:

10 Ways to Prepare a Mom for a Bad Birth

and

10 Ways to Prepare a Mom for a Great Birth

Yes, I am on my soapbox--

not because I think everyone should birth in a certain way,

but because I believe that so many women could birth in a better way than they are led to believe.

I'm Blessed

2011-11-21T15:31:00.000-06:00

It's been a bit since I participated with Gretchen's I'm Blessed Series,

but this week I'm prepared.

I've been thinking about the kinds of things that many people take for granted;

though I'm sure there are many, many things that I, too, take for granted,

I know that I don't take the following lightly:

~I'm blessed to have running water in our house.

Each time I turn on a faucet,

I am thankful.

There have been many times over the years when I have turned on a faucet

and had nothing happen.

~I'm blessed to have hot running water in our house.

Each time I turn on a faucet and get warm/hot water for a shower or bath or to do the dishes,

I am thankful.

There have been many times over the years when I have turned on a faucet and had only cold water and have had to heat water on the stove for baths or dishes.

I do not take hot water for granted.

~I'm blessed to have vehicles that run consistently.

We have our big van and now we also have a car.

Both are reliable vehicles.

There have been times when we've had nothing to drive,

times when what we had to drive only had room for a fraction of us so we didn't go anywhere,

times when each time I turned the key, it was anyone's guess whether the engine would roar to life,

and times when my prayer was, "Lord, please just let me get to town and back before it quits."

Having a reliable vehicle is such a load off of my shoulders, and Dennis' too.

~I'm blessed to have been given a DISHWASHER!!!

It has been nearly a year since mine quit

and I am beyond excited to have one that works!

It came to us because someone was remodeling and putting in new appliances

and didn't need this one anymore.

As I sat sewing the other night I thought to myself,

"I can spend time sewing because the DISHWASHER is washing the DISHES!!!"

Washing all the dishes by hand certainly wasn't impossible,

but, well, this many people who are all home every day makes for a considerable amount of dishes.

I am thankful for a friend who made it possible to lighten my work load.

~I am thankful for my family--both my immediate and extended family.

Dennis and I came under some serious attack recently for choices that we've made for our household from someone that we had previously considered "safe."

When this person unleashed how s/he really felt,

it was pretty unbelievable, not to mention incredibly hurtful.

However, I'm thankful that my home is a haven from people who are so openly (as well as covertly) hostile

and that my husband and I are on the same page regarding these decisions.

We are blessed with grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles that love our kids--each one.

~Last, but certainly not least, I'm blessed by a Savior who gave His very life so that I could have mine. It is in my weakness that I see how very strong He is.

Taking Care of "Business"

2011-11-20T14:11:00.002-06:00

It had been that kind of day.
The kind of day that you wish was over and it's not even 4:00 yet.
The kind of day where I made an early supper because I just wanted to be done--done with cooking, done with washing dishes, done with baths, done with bedtime, just.
done.

But it was only 5:30.
So, I did what I always do when I need to check out for awhile.
I purposed to take a bath.

The older children know that they are not to bother Mom in the tub on a day like that unless they are bleeding or on fire.
Ruby, however, did not.

She knocked on the door.
I wanted to deny her entrance, but knowing that I could end up needing to clean up a puddle if she were not allowed through the door, I granted permission for her to enter.
I pulled the shower curtain shut, she came in and sat down on the little potty seat next to the tub.

I had lit a good-smelling candle, but even it couldn't cover up the "scent" of what she was doing.
Arghhhhhh.
"Ruby, are you done yet?"
"Nope."
"Are you done yet?"
"No."
"Now?"
"Not yet."
Arghhhhhh.
I just wanted a bath, some time to myself, and some reprieve from bad smells.
Obviously, that wasn't going to happen.
Because that is part of my life.
Babies and toddlers and poo.
Grown men and boys and barn clothes and poo.
Little children who never remember to flush the toilet (!!!) and poo.

And so, when my darling little three year old was finished stinking up the whole bathroom minutes after I'd begun my "relaxing" bath, she peeks around the shower curtain and says, ever-so-sweetly, "I'm done now, Mommy, and you take care of the poop, ok?" and out the door she went.

Yes, sweetheart, I'll take care of the poop.
Because that's {part of} my job.

Philippians 4:8

2011-11-19T14:16:00.001-06:00

I was up long into the night

mulling over some incredibly cruel and hurtful things said to us by a friend.

This morning I was reminded that

Whatever is

~TRUE (emphasis mine)

~noble

~right

~pure

~lovely

~admirable

~excellent

~praiseworthy

think on such things.

paraphrase of Philippians 4:8

I know what God has asked us to do--

and what this person has decided we should do is in direct contrast to that.

I know what is TRUE

and I need to focus on that.

Praise God for His True and Holy Word.

Wanna See What I Made for $6??? (No boys allowed!)

2011-11-19T13:59:00.000-06:00

This post is really for girls only.

If you are my son, nephew, brother, uncle, pastor, etc,

you may not want to read any farther.

Feel free to skip today and come back tomorrow!

Inspired by Genevieve,

and bolstered in confidence by Theresa when we made up some diapers for our new babes,

I decided to jump in.

My babies wear cloth...

why not Mama?

I did some searching around on the internet

and decided to try this pattern from the Hillbilly Housewife.

I thought we might share some similarities :-)

I looked around the house for what I had,

spent $5 at Wal-Mart for some additional flannel,

and $1 at the thrift store on a pair of flannel pajama pants to cut up.

So, wanna see what I made?

10 outer pads

and 24 inner pads

for $6.00

all from old receiving blankets, t-shirts, a crib mattress liner,

new flannel, and re-purposed flannel.

For the same reasons I use cloth on the babies,

I decided to go this route after this baby is born.

~no chemicals

~re-usable

~no trips to town because "I'm out!!!"

~no contribution to landfills

plus an added benefit of feeling quite resourceful and independent!!

(Regarding the "ick" factor--if you scroll way down on

the Hillbilly Housewife's article,

you can read some really great information

that lends significant insight into this topic.)

Isaiah's Deer

2011-11-18T21:08:00.000-06:00

Our men were successful

on the 2011 deer hunt!

Isaiah shot this doe as well as a button buck.

I'm a big sissy when it comes to firearms,

so I'm always happy when hunting season is over

and all of my family are safe!

MInd Over Belly

2011-11-16T07:16:00.012-06:00

A comment that is very common for me to hear goes something like this:

"I bet you're sick of being pregnant, aren't you?"

Um, no.

No, I'm not.

I have very easy pregnancies--

no complications, no drama.

While I will admit that I am officially uncomfortable at this stage of the game,

I hope I never portray pregnancy as some terrible life-event to simply be endured.

I know many women have different stories than mine,

and, to be sure, I am NOT belittling their experiences.

I don't know how it's become so normal(?) to bash pregnancy and scare the living daylights out of anyone who has not yet had a baby.

Think how many horrible pregnancy/birth stories you've heard compared with the number beautiful, heart-warming ones. Why do women do that to each other? I have no idea.

I came across this article recently and really enjoyed it.

Maybe you will, too.

Mind Over Belly

Doe, a Deer, a Female Deer

2011-11-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

Nathaniel shot his first deer this year!

Just like when he shot his turkey,

he shot this HUGE doe on the first day of the season.

The boys bought their first 12 gauge gun this fall

and that is what he used to bag this doe.

Getting Ready

2011-11-14T20:16:00.001-06:00

You'd think I'd have this all down pat by now.
But I don't.

I think I had my heart and mind so set on a homebirth that I forgot that I have to have everything "ready" before baby comes: the carseat, a bag packed, camera at the ready, etc.

A few nights ago I was wondering if it was "time." I made my way through several contractions, all while {almost} freaking out that I wasn't ready!
I knew that if it really was labor, a bath would make the contractions progress. If they were just "false", then a bath should settle things down.

At about midnight, I drew a nice warm bath with one of my favorite goat milk soap treats for myself (black raspberry for the really curious reader)...and cried out to God in my heart.

See, I've delivered eight children naturally (no epidurals, etc.). I suppose it's because of this that I know very well that birthing a baby isn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world to do. It hurts. It hurts worse if you're scared. It hurts less if you're prepared for it and prepared to work with rather than against the pain.

Even though I know this, I still had this moment of really vulnerable conversation with God.
"Lord, I'm scared. I'm scared and I'm handing these fears over to You:

~I'm scared it's going to hurt.

~I'm not ready. If the baby comes tonight, I'm not ready. I'm not packed. I don't have everything out of storage!

~I'm scared of all the new-ness surrounding this baby...a new midwife, a new clinic, new hospital, etc.

To each of these, once I had surrendered the fears to the One who can handle them, I talked myself through each one.

Scared it's going to hurt? Of course it's going to hurt--and it will hurt worse if I'm scared. I need to remember that I was created to do this very thing. I'm fully equipped to handle it. If I can remember to work with my body, as I have done before, it'll be fine. I can do this.

Not ready? GET ready! Pack what I can right now, and the rest will work out. It's no one's fault but my own that I'm not packed. Make a list, gather what I need and the problem is solved.

Scared of all the "new"? It can't be helped. Concentrate instead on what is the same: my husband, my friend/doula Megan, birth is not new to me, etc. Focus on the One Who Never Changes--the Almighty, in who's capable hand I rest.

By the time I stepped out of the tub, the contractions had stopped, my fears had eased, and I smelled reaaaallllly good. :-)
I just had to get myself ready to face what lies ahead.

Happy Birthday, Elijah!!

2011-11-14T06:16:00.001-06:00

Elijah is 5 years old today!

This tender-hearted boy...

our fifth son and sixth child...

I love him so.

It's a Good Thing I'm Getting a New One

2011-11-10T06:01:00.002-06:00

It's a good thing I'm getting a new baby.

'Cause mine got all grown up.

Wordless Wednesday: Mmmmmm...Cake

2011-11-09T07:22:00.002-06:00

Andrew's Birthday Date

2011-11-08T19:14:00.000-06:00

Andrew asked if he could have a "go out for dinner date" for his birthday.

He chose the Chinese buffet.

Dad had no objections.

(Neither did Mom.)

Of all the things offered,

he chose cantaloupe and chicken-on-a-stick

over and over again.

His drink of choice?

A little bit of each one from the self-serve fountain pop.

It was fun for him to be with "just us"

and equally fun for Dennis and I to be with "just him."

Happy Birthday, Andrew!!

2011-11-04T07:03:00.000-05:00

Looking for someone who's NINE today???

Look no farther than our Andrew Dennis!

(that's our little friend Bridia he's holding)

I will try to post some more pictures later of our

activities planned for him today.

What's My "Usual"?

2011-10-30T05:22:00.024-05:00

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me if I

"usually" go early or late,

well, let's just say I could afford that homebirth I've been wanting. ;-)

When my friend asked me recently, though,

it struck me that I could make a blog post out of the answer!

(A lot like when my kids do or say something and then ask,

sometimes with trepidation, sometimes out of eagerness,

"are you going to put that on your blog?")

The short answer is that I've gone anywhere from 10 days "early"

to seven days "late".

(Remember, though, that a due date is just a really broad guess-timate.)

The long answer, in break-down form is

Nathaniel: 10 days before his due date

Isaiah: 7 days before

Linnea: the day after her due date

Andrew: I was induced on his due date

(I didn't know then what I know now about inductions. Though the experience was fine, I would not choose that route again.)

Christopher: 9 days before

Elijah: 4 days before

Ruby: 7 days before

Ivy: 7 days after her due date

As you can see, I don't have a "usual".

Like the nature of birth, the arrival of the children has followed no predictable pattern

(ie, gone longer each time or gone shorter each time).

So we'll see when this baby decides to arrive!

Some Wonderful Articles about Birth

2011-10-29T06:25:00.002-05:00

Natural birth has become a passion of mine.

Everyone~male, female, child-bearing years or beyond~should become familiar

with what birth really involves.

Below are links to some very insightful articles on birth.

Birth is not a crisis

When are you due?

Lessons from my birth

The Myths of Medically Managed Childbirth

It's Happening Again

2011-10-28T06:16:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhh, the last weeks of pregnancy.

~waking all through the night even if I don't need to use the bathroom

~getting me up off the couch is a group effort,

or at the least, something at which my family laughs and points.

~HEART. BURN.

~baby's kicks and movements move my whole body

~I cry. Easily.

~In a phone conversation, the other person naturally assumes I am that out of breath because I'm doing back flips up and down the stairs when really, I'm just sitting in a chair.

~I'm distracted with thoughts of baby's arrival.

~These warm-up contractions take my breath away.

(Dennis told me just after Ivy was born that if anyone asked me how long I was in labor I should tell them three weeks. I've been told that warm-up contractions are more significant the more babies one has. I would have to agree.)

~A 10 lb. bag of ice lasts me four days.

~Standing in front of the sink to wash the dishes requires me to turn to the side so that I can get near enough to reach the water.

~Consumption of toilet paper in our house has risen substantially.

~I am commonly heard saying "Go ahead *breath*, I'll (try to)*breath* catch up."

The Baby Chronicles--Change

2011-10-27T06:57:00.003-05:00

I'm almost 36 weeks--roughly four weeks left to go.
I am amazed each and every time how 9 months can pass so slowly and yet whiz by at the same time.

With the other babies, I did just as I was told and went to the dr. fairly soon
and followed up at four week-, then two week-, and finally went to weekly appointments.

I was beginning to view this as unnecessary for me during Ivy's pregnancy,
and became even more convinced that that wasn't the route I needed to take
the more I researched the differences between the obstetrical model of care and the midwifery model of care.
What I really, really, really, really wanted was to have Ivy at home but that didn't happen.
I really, really, really, really had my heart set on a homebirth this time, but that isn't going to happen, either, for the same reason.

I know enough about pregnancy and birth to realize I don't need all the appointments, tests, and procedures that medical world tries to tell me I need.
I also know enough to be able to make trustworthy decisions that work for us without being reckless or negligent.

And so, we made a change.
I went to an appointment with my ob at about 18 weeks at the clinic/hospital where I've delivered all eight of the children because I needed to have a form signed for our insurance to verify the pregnancy.
I told him I'd call to make the next appointment sometime down the road.

For several weeks, I did "nothing".
At this point, I was holding the homebirth option in my back pocket, so to speak.
When I realized that a homebirth was not an option,
I knew I needed to find a middle ground of sorts.
I knew that I'd have to birth in a hospital,
but I wanted it to be alongside the care of midwife;
this would require me to face one of my biggest challenges: change.
I'm treading new ground for me:
a new caregiver, a new clinic, and a new hospital in a new town.

My friend Megan will be coming with as my doula like she did with Ivy.
Dennis will be there, too, of course
so it won't be entirely different!

It's all becoming very real as the date draws closer.
I know when I turn the calendar page to November,
then it will really hit me that this baby will be here soon!

Wordless Wednesday--Windy

2011-10-26T06:25:00.012-05:00

and some nicer ones... :)

I'm a Slave Driver

2011-10-25T06:54:00.000-05:00

Child labor laws mean nothing to me.

I'm Blessed: A Place of Quiet Rest

2011-10-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

(you really should click the picture to enlarge it--it's so peaceful.

I took this when we were at The Prairie)

There is a place of quiet rest,

near to the heart of God.

~Cleland B. McAfee 1866-1944

Read along in Gretchen's I'm Blessed Series.

It's Not Hard to Guess

2011-10-24T06:32:00.001-05:00

My kids are often asked what they want the baby "to be."

(even though the baby already "is" what he/she "is.")

Up until now, the kids have had no opinion.

Boy, girl--it made no difference.

They were just excited to meet the new baby.

For the first time,

someone has an opinion.

It's Ruby.

It's probably not hard to believe that when she is asked,

my girliest of girls answers, "I want the baby to be a sister. Because babies are girls."

This picture shows what Ivy

does whenever we talk about the baby.

"Shhhhhhhhh."

She is always putting her babies to bed and then tells us to "shhhhhhh."

She is really becoming quite the sweet little toddler.

Why Having One Child is Harder than Eight

2011-10-22T05:54:00.003-05:00

People often say something like this to me,

"Wow--I only have ONE child. I can't imagine how hard it is to have as many as YOU!"

I tell them every time:

One is harder than eight. (or whatever number we're on. :-) )

Here is one reason why that is:

there's always someone to read you a story

(or at least look at the pictures with you)!

In a single-child family, Mom or Dad is pretty much it for a day-to-day playmate.

In our house, I have lots of hands to help keep each other occupied!

An open book is like a magnet in our house, by the way...

Exploring the Prairie

2011-10-21T07:06:00.000-05:00

I'm not much of a field trip person.

Getting my crew out the door and to any destination is much like a circus attraction, and I get a ringside seat.

Lately, however, I've been reminded to say "yes" more and "no" less--

especially since after the baby comes it will be harder to make commitments like these.

Our homeschool group went to what is commonly called The Prairie on Monday.

I am SO GLAD I made the effort and said yes.

We had THE BEST time!

It was a positively gorgeous day, albeit a bit chilly, but I had dug out all the winter gear the weekend before so the kids were prepared. Me, notsomuch. But I'm a big girl and I made it through.

(Ok, confession: one child forgot his hat, but thankfully another mom had extras. Thanks, Trudy!)

Since I am only one person, I couldn't tag along with each of my children's groups

so I had to pick one. It's probably no surprise I went with the "little" group.

We started out on the trail and came first to a little bridge.

Our leader laid right down on her tummy and told the kids to do so, too, to get a good look at what was in the water. They LOVED it!

They saw different insects, bubbles, the leaves that had settled to the bottom...

Then one little girl exclaimed, "I see ME!"

That made us all chuckle.

Ruby began the morning stuck pretty close to me,

but soon was brave enough to venture ahead.

She walked over to the rail all by herself.

My friend, and lifesaver, Sally.

Sally's older kids are grown and her youngest is a teenager

and she remembers well what it is like to be busy with little ones.

She came along with the younger group and offered to push Ivy's stroller

and basically took care of her for me so that I could hold Ruby's hand and

waddle up and down the trails. :)

Here, Ivy and Sally are watching the ducks and geese

and Ivy is making some really great quacking sounds.

Our guide's name is Teresa--

she told the kids how birds utilize cattail and then let them pull the fluff off it

and then they all got to

BLOW it into the wind!

As we were standing on the bridge, some geese flew in

right over our heads to land in the water next to us.

They flew in so close we could hear their wings flapping.

Teresa would pick things from the prairie

for the kids to touch and smell.

For this age group,

the prairie experience was very sensory.

Teresa said, "Kids, go wrap your arms around that tree--does it feel smooth or rough?"

(the second before I snapped this picture, all of them were wrapped around the tree. I missed the shot.)

My own little tree-hugger.

The kids rummaged through the oak leaves to find a "pink fuzzy"--an insect who makes it's home for the winter on the underside of an oak leaf.

Next came the tall grass.

(Which, incidentally, is the name of my very favorite musical.)

She encouraged the kids to run into the grass, lay down and hide.

Christopher and Elijah thought this was SO GREAT!

Sally carried Ivy in to explore, too.

Ruby's bravery increased as the morning progressed

Elijah tunneled through the grass to "sneak up" on Teresa.

This is the last picture I took that morning,

though I could (and should) have taken a bajillion more.

(I'm hoping to go back and take a more leisurely stroll

with just my crew, so we don't feel like we're holding up the group if I make them all stop to smile at mom's camera.)

We talked about everything you can see on the prairie--even the moon during the day.

I {Still} Love My BeBand

2011-10-20T06:10:00.000-05:00

At this stage in the game, I find that cohesive thought is a thing of the past.
And so, I direct your attention to a re-run:

I Love My BeBand

Oh, and look! I just noticed that the post about my BeBand was written on Ivy's Day Before!

Wordless Wednesday--Ivy's Bad Self

2011-10-19T06:31:00.001-05:00

I Eat Ice

2011-10-18T06:50:00.000-05:00

To my husband's chagrin,
I eat ice when I'm pregnant.
Not usually until later in pregnancy,
but by about 7 months or so
I'd pick a glass full of ice over cheesecake.

I KNOW!!
If you know of my affinity for cheesecake,
go ahead and pick yourself up off the floor
because it's the truth.

You may remember you're older brother always keeping an eye on your plate and asking
"Are you going to finish that?" when supper was particularly good.
Well that's how I am with ice--I see people wasting perfectly good ice and want to ask them
"Are you going to finish that?"
(I would never really do that, it was more for blog effect. Maybe.)

I know it's a sign of iron deficiency,
this desire to crunch ice.

I know it drives my husband batty.

I know that I prefer store-bought bagged ice to what I'm able to make in my freezer here at home.

And I know that if you're headed over my way,
I may just ask you to stop off and bring me a fresh bag of ice.
(I bought a ten pound bag last week and it was gone in four days,
if that's any indication...)

I'm Blessed: I Get to Have Another Baby

2011-10-17T08:08:00.000-05:00

Linking up with Gretchen today in her

I'm Blessed series,

I'd like to share an article I found a few years ago that really spoke to my heart.

I Get to Have a Baby
by Elizabeth Foss

I ran into an old acquaintance at a party last weekend. It had been about a year since I'd last seen her and I was delighted to meet her again. She's always been a warm woman, who seemed to love to play with my babies. So I was--ahem--a bit surprised at our exchange.
"You look tired," she said.
"Ah, I am," I replied with a wink. "I'm getting kind of old for this." I rubbed my growing belly.
"How old are you?"
"Forty-two."
"Why don't you take the pill?"
Gulp. Um. My well-rehearsed treatise on the Culture of Life and openness to God's gracious goodness completely evaded me there in the kitchen between the bar and the buffet.
"It's against my religion." That was lame, I thought, as nothing else sprang from my mouth.
"Well, then why don't you just tell him to stay away? Tell him you'll come find him when you want him around. Tell him to leave you alone."
I was backing away now, physically recoiling from the disdain in her voice. Honestly, I couldn't even speak. I went and sat as close as I could to "him" on the couch. And then I let the words come in my head--words I never shared with her, but wish I had.

"Because I get to have another baby."

I get to feel my cheeks flush and my heart race when I see two pink lines on a positive pregnancy test.
I get to plot and plan and dream up the perfect way to tell my husband.
I get to tell my children they are expecting a sibling and watch the ensuing happy dances and hear the shouts of glee.
I get to see a brand new heart beating within my own. I get to hear the rhythmic swish and thump that tell us the baby is still well.
I get to feel the flutters and have the realization dawn that they are created by my baby who is moving within me.
I get to see my belly swell and not be bothered by "weight gain." I'm gaining a baby.
I get to hear my children bless this baby every day and pray for her safe arrival.
I get to lie in a darkened room, my husband nearby, and get a glimpse of our baby on a screen. I get to watch him fall in love with the baby of the grainy image. I get to see a tenderness reserved especially for moments like these.
I get to become acquainted with the rhythms of her being--her active times, her sleepy times, her hiccups--all before I ever see her.
I get to rub my belly a million times a day, wearing out maternity shirts in an effort to caress the growing dear one.
...
I get to look forward to the day she is born, imagining the slippery, soft cheek against my own, feeling the enormous relief and thanksgiving that come with her safe arrival.
I get to watch the cord be cut and know that I still have years ahead of me of nourishing her from my own body and a lifetime of nurturing her from my soul.
I get to fold well-worn lovely little pink clothes and eagerly anticipate dressing a new doll in them.
I get to fall asleep at night with my husband's hand on my belly, marveling at it all and thanking God for the miracle of two made three.
I get to have a baby.
Again.
...

Elizabeth Foss is a freelance writer and blogs at www.ebeth.typepad.com

My Farmer

2011-10-08T07:37:00.002-05:00

My farmer doesn't appear much on my blog.

I should be better about telling you about him.

He loves me even when I'm awful to him.

He leaves me love notes in manure.

He isn't afraid to be ridiculously silly with the children.

Like here, see?

Daddy and Christopher 2010

He tells me he loves me.

He works hard and long.

(When you marry an independent dairy farmer, there are no days off, no holidays, and no guarantee of ever getting anywhere that you planned to go because the cows might get out, one might have trouble calving, the milk truck might get stuck in the yard, everything that could go wrong does and chores end up taking forever, etcetera ad finitum.)

He cares for his animals.

He likes leftovers.

He's sooooo smart!

He likes to take the kids with him when he goes somewhere.

When one of his children says something like this, he just laughs.

(I think would cry!)

Potty Training 107

2011-10-07T07:28:00.008-05:00

I am often asked

How do I potty train my child????????

Maybe it's because I look like I should know the answers?
Maybe because anyone who would do this over and over and over again surely must be able to accomplish such a thing????

The answer: (And when I say "answer", I'm using the term loosely.)

To start with, I firmly believe there is no magic formula for potty training.
In my experience, every woman who's told me that allll of her kids were out of diapers by the time they were fifteen months old has had, like, one kid--two at most.

What works for one child may not work for another, and what didn't work for one child may just be the thing that makes it click for another.

I'm on my seventh round of ~~trying to get a child out of diapers~~ potty learning.
You'd think I'd have this thing down pat by now.
But I don't.
And neither does Ruby.

I thought about doing the whole go to the store and pick out some pretty underwear thing, but I haven't been able to go to the store, so we haven't done that.
I did find some little undies from when Linnea was little, but there are only four of them. Some days this is plenty, other days she's back in a diaper by noon because she's out of clean undies.
(I began this post before her birthday and had it saved in drafts--she got pretty ballerina ones for a gift so now we have plenty!)

It is as much about my ability to focus as it is hers--I have to remember to remind her to go try to use the potty. Maybe we struggle because I'm distractable, maybe I just haven't used enough chocolate for bribery.

I have used the kitchen timer system; we set the timer for 30 minutes and the child needs to try to use the potty when the timer goes off.
This has been marginally successful over the years. If nothing else, soiled/wet diapers get changed every 30 minutes.

We have used both the stand-alone potty chair with the cup thing that you pour out and the snap-on kind that goes on the regular toilet seat.
Currently, it is imperative that we have the separate little toilet because it seems every time Ruby has to go, someone else is on the big potty.
One con of this system is when the potty learning individual desires to pour their good work into the big toilet and is only marginally successful. Bleh.
My experience has been that the little potty is good for girlies who are learning and to not even bother with it for a boy--they'll just miss anyway, (remember this post?) even if they're sitting down and have that fancy little shield in place. I've been better off to have them use a step stool by the big toilet and a snap-on seat for sit-down jobs.
(I feel like I'm speaking in some kind of code while avoiding using all the "bathroom words". Are you following what I'm saying???)

Truth be told, potty training takes vigilance and a lot of time--and I don't have a lot of time to devote to any one thing. And since we're being honest (or is that just me?) I'll let you know I really don't like this stage of childhood. This past week I cried out, "All these puddles--it's like we have a new puppy!" Yuck. (Yuck about the puddles...I like puppies.)

I would say the hardest part about little ones learning to use the bathroom is for them to take action when they feel the need to go, instead of waiting until desperation sets in. Sometimes the accident is from not honoring that at all, but many times the puddle happens in the bathroom as she is desperately trying to get the step-stool over to the light switch, reach the switch, then move the stool over to the big toilet, put the potty seat on the toilet aaaaaaaaaaaand by now too much time has elapsed and she's crying because she didn't make it and now we have a puddle on the floor and soggy clothes and some linoleum to wash. *sigh* She tried, but there were just too many steps...

Granted, I don't deliver a treatise such as this to the casual observer in the grocery store. I do know that each week sees improvement. She is doing better each day. I will "only" have two in diapers when the new baby comes. (If you remember, I've had three in diapers before.)

Maybe when I'm asked about potty training, I should just say this:

My experience has been that when I quit trying so hard to train the child, the child eventually decided to learn.

How is that for an "answer"?

Go With the Flow? Um...No.

2011-10-05T18:26:00.000-05:00

For an insightful read

click Trust us. We're the "Experts"

Please do take the time to follow the links within her post.

If you've ever wondered why I'm not so much "go with the flow"

but more like "swimming against the current"

those posts explain a lot...

32 Weeks--again

2011-10-04T06:34:00.001-05:00

I wrote this post when I was as far along with Ivy

as I am with Baby #9:

You May Be 32 Weeks Pregnant If...

It'd be safe to say

nothing's changed...

I'm Blessed

2011-10-03T17:08:00.000-05:00

I hope Gretchen doesn't think I'm just copying her...

(does anyone else remember the cardinal rule of childhood that cannot be broken??

"Teacher, s/he's copying me!!!")

But boy--since she started her I'm Blessed series,

it's given me something to blog about each Monday.

So here goes:

I'm blessed to live in an area of the country that has weather changes--beautiful ones. I love fall.

I'm blessed to feel this new baby be so active.

When I sit in church or even just as I'm drifting off to sleep (these never happen at the same time--just to clarify), the baby starts to roll around and I smile to myself.

It is something that is "my own" about being a woman who is a mother.

I'm blessed to be an at-home-mom.

I'm so thankful that my husband wants it that way, too--I know many women who would love to stay home but their husbands won't let them.

I have always loved children

and I am blessed to be able to catch little glimpses into their hearts and minds.

I L-O-V-E the things children say,

things may seem insignificant to others.

Today, Elijah told me,

"Hey Mom, when I get a turn to go to town with you I want to buy a box that has cans in it and the cans would have pop in them."

(more commonly referred to as a "12 pack")

These kinds of things make me smile--long after the conversation.

I'm blessed that our children are friends with one another,

they play board games together, build forts and race tracks together,

make elaborate creations out of tinker toys and Lincoln logs,

hunt together,

eat, work, and live together.

They occasionally argue together, too,

but they learn what it means to work it out

within the crucible of the family.

If you'd like to share about your blessings,

feel free to comment here or over on Gretchen's blog.

(She has that really cool Mr. Linky deal so you can link up your blog, too,

'cause she's super smart about that kind of stuff...)

Homeschool Friday

2011-09-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

My friend Gretchen is hosting a

Homeschool Friday series on her blog

and I'm writing along this week.

We don't "do school" like a lot of other homeschoolers...

our lifestyle dictates/demands a different rhythm to our days.

Each fall,

I feel like I'm pulling and pulling and pulling to get them to do school.

I feel this pull as well, because basically the first question posed to me by anyone I randomly meet is,

"So have you started school yet?"

My homeschooling friends' blog and facebook posts are all about what they are using for school

and how they started in August.

It's my own version of peer pressure--

except it's self-induced.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to home education.

If we don't do it like another family, it doesn't mean we are doing it wrong--

it's just different.

And so, I quit pulling

and let the children continue living.

We live in Minnesota--

there are plenty of blizzard days and bitterly cold days

and rainy days and beastly hot days on which to accomplish a lot of our seat work.

I use a literature saturated approach to learning

so the kids are constantly reading good, living books

year round.

So during this gorgeous fall we are having,

I've been less about "school"

and more about life...family life.

The bigger boys are helping Dennis with harvest;

the other kids play a lot outside.

There have been a lot of football games played

by the whole crew during the afternoons.

Forts have been built from the sheets blowing on the clothesline.

They spend hours pretending together

with brothers who are alternately

defending and then attacking the fort.

I don't have a long list of

"this is the book we are using for this subject".

I don't (and probably won't) spend a lot of time on my blog

talking about how we homeschool.

The truth is,

many of the people who read this blog wouldn't understand many of the decisions I make regarding our homeschooling journey and would consequently mistake or misunderstand my methods.

See this picture here?

Would you like to know what Elijah began saying to me just as I pressed the shutter?

"Uhhh, Mom? You're interrupting our play time."

She's Fee

2011-09-29T06:52:00.003-05:00

"Mommy, take a pit-chur of my fingers being fee."

Ok.