I think a lot, but don't have a lot of time to put my thoughts on paper or on a screen.
I started this post back in January and it's been before me since then. I've tried to write around it, always feeling like I was avoiding something; sort of like when you tell your kids to pick up in their room and they dilly dally or actually play nicely for the first time that day (or week.)
Wanna know what it's about? It's maybe not hard for you to guess.
Dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnnnnnn.
Shocking, I know.
Now, could I ask a favor of you? Could you just read this with an open mind and heart? Would you please not get offended and then not read my blog anymore if you disagree with me? If you leave a comment, would you please be gentle if you disagree with me? Even if you disagree wholeheartedly?
After hemming and hawing my way through many attempts both in my head and by way of typing them out, I decided the best way is to just say it.
So here goes.
Birth control is, well, taking control.
As a born again Christian, I want God to be the Lord of my life. I am surprised at how often I hear believers talk about surrendering their lives to the Lord but who insist on keeping this part of their lives under their own control. Sort of like, "Send me wherever you wish, Lord. I'll go to the ends of the earth to do what you ask and to tell others about you, but I won't have a baby unless it's on my terms."
NFP (Natural Family Planning) and FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) are still birth control.
In my opinion, this is still trying to manipulate or control something that I believe is a complete miracle and as such, completely up to God and His timing.
Yeah, well, God gave you a brain, right? Shouldn't you use it? and other such comments
Yes, God gave me a brain and I do use it. He also gave His created a command: Be fruitful and multiply. It has never been rescinded in all of Scripture.
I read once where someone likened the declining of a child in this way: Yes, children are a blessing. So is food. But I need to control how much food I take in.
True. But the Bible warns about gluttony. Nowhere in all of Scripture does it ever speak of children as anything but a blessing and a reward, a heritage.
Isn't that like jumping off a tall building and saying "Ok, Lord, if you want to save me, You can!"
Um, no. That's the part where you use the brain God gave you.
God can be trusted. He is trustworthy.
I have nothing to add to this.
Trusting God with your family size does NOT necessarily mean you will have a bunch of kids.
First, let me say that it would be ridiculous for me to assert that a family equals a certain number. A husband and wife are a family, whether they have children or not. My point is that I believe it's something that should be up to God.
My grandparents never used any form of birth control and they had 7 children. While I know that that may seem like a lot, it's certainly nowhere near the number 20 that is commonly purported. "If we just left that up to God, we'd have like 20 kids!!!"
Seriously, do you think God is caught off guard? "Aww, snap!! I knew I should have kept a closer eye on those two when he started that back rub!! Now I'm going to have to go and make plans for another one of these humans!"
I say no. I don't believe God is surprised at new life. I believe that God has a plan for each and every person, as stated in Jeremiah 29:11 I believe that that begins even before conception. God says so in His Word. Psalm 139
If I may be so bold (why stop now?) for many Christians it's like saying "I trust God but not that far. I mean, let's not get crazy here..."
And you know what? That was me. I used to think that way. Our first four kids were born with me thinking that way. That's when we began to see that the control wasn't ours to possess. And I'm so glad the Lord intervened--because I wouldn't have had the opportunity to know them. They wouldn't be here had God not shown me, in His mercy, that His plans were and are better than mine.
Is someone really more worthy of life just because they're first or second? But fourth or maybe fifth in line, sorry!
We bemoan the fact that in some countries, babies are tossed away simply because they are a girl. I wonder, is throwing someone away just because they're the wrong number any different?
Along these bold lines, how about...Permanent Sterilization
I hear things like "but God gave us doctors who can do surgeries so you don't have to worry about having more babies."
To this I say, just because it can be medically done, doesn't mean it should be done. Gender re-assignment comes to mind.
Also, please consider this: vasectomies and tubal ligation are procedures/surgeries wherein a functioning part of the body is rendered broken/non-functioning. Typically, surgery is to fix what is broken, not to break what needs no fixing. Ironically, it's called "getting fixed."
I believe God is the Creator and Author of Life.
I have not been given any special insight into who should live and who should not. When it comes down to it, this is the biggest reason for me. It's not up to me. I don't want the responsibility of deciding who should live or not because that is something WAY bigger than me.
It is no act of my will that creates a child. That is purely God. Even if I sought after conception with all kinds of medical intervention ie, in vitro, etc. the creation of a life still rests in the hands of the Creator.
Could we talk now about chemical birth control?
1) inhibiting ovulation
2) thickening cervical fluid
3) thinning and shriveling the lining of the uterus to the point that it is unable or less able to facilitate the implantation of the newly fertilized egg (medical speak for "baby").
The first two mechanisms are contraceptive; the third is abortive. When I learned this 7 years ago, I was shocked, saddened, disbelieving and finally repentant.
Did you know? In America, chemical abortions are estimated to kill more than 7 million babies each year--while surgical abortions kill about 1.5 million babies each year. (source)
I highly recommend this article and book:
In her book, Lies Women Believe, Nancy Leigh DeMoss says "as a destroyer of life, Satan is definitely not into encouraging childbearing." She, in turn, quotes Mary Pride's penetrating book The Way Home,
Family planning is the mother of abortion. A generation had to be indoctrinated in the ideal of planning children around personal convenience before abortion could become popular. We Christians raise an outcry against abortion today, and rightly so. But the reason we have to fight those battles today is because we lost them thirty years ago. Once couples began to look upon children as creatures of their own making, who they could plan into their lives as they chose or not, all reverence for human life was lost...
...Abortion is first of all a heart attitude. "Me first." "My career first." "My reputation first." "My convenience first." "My financial plans first." And these exact same choices are what family planning, which the churches have endorsed for three decades, is all about."Trust me when I say that I am not writing this to any one person in particular. In a way, though, perhaps I am. Maybe there is one person reading this whose heart God has been preparing. Maybe. It is my hope.