Easter 2015

To start this post, I mean, really, 

who could resist this face?!

This is how Abram "smiles" for pictures.

See?

 And I need to work on proper etiquette with Elizabeth while wearing a dress.

 We went to my mom & dad's for dinner Easter Sunday.

My mom has this cute little flower in her windowsill

and it moves back and forth via a small solar panel.

Abram was mesmerized!

 This little mister turns 2 at the end of this month.

He is growing up so much!

But I think sweater vests have a way of doing that to little misters...

We had been at my grandma's house the day before 

and Abram took a bad tumble on her pavement

earning him a owie lip

but it didn't slow him down for long.

 Miss 'Lizabeth was so excited to wear this "park-ly" dress

that is a hand-me-down from Ruby & Ivy.

 Ivy Joy

 Ruby Kathryn

Cece's first Easter :)

CecePie and Ruby

I didn't get any individual pictures of anyone older than 6

but we actually managed to get a group shot! 

 the back row is Andrew (12), Nathaniel (19), Linnea (14), Cece (6 mos) and Isaiah (17)

in front is Abram (almost 2), Ivy (5), Elizabeth (3), Elijah (8), Ruby (6), and Christopher (9).

*whoa--I had to stop and think on the ages there...they didn't stand in chronological order!*

I can't recall the last time I got a picture of my parents and the children.

I include this one because Abram is smiling so hard it makes me laugh!

And doesn't the back of Cece's head look great?!

Ooh, and look at Elijah's face....awesome.

This one is better...except Abram is chewing on a 

grape that we used as bait to get him to stay within the frame

so he looks like Joey Tribbiani.

"How you doin'?"

 And, because we hadn't all been dressed up and in one place since Cece's baptism,

a picture of all of us.

Again--the back of Cece's head looks great, along with my awkward stance 

to try to get her to look forward.

Also included for your viewing pleasure

is this one of Ivy's muscles and two of my teenagers blinking.

But look--Cece's face!

Mothering eleven children is no small feat, my friends.

Plenty of small feet, yes--

but the rest of this life = no small feat.

And Then She Grew

While at my parents' house to celebrate Easter

my mom brought out a box of old pictures.

Y'know--from when people used to use film and have actual photographs on paper.

We came across this one of Linnea and my dad's pony Paco.

My goodness! She was so little!

And when I stepped outside that same afternoon,

there she was...but much older.

Linnea and HotShot

I turned to my dad and said,

"I know my years as a parent are fewer than yours;

I feel as if this girl was little just yesterday.

Does it feel that way for you?

Were we little just yesterday?

Does it seem like just a short time ago to you, too?"

He told me that it did feel that way to him, too.

I think for me, because I'm in the midst of diapers and feedings

and skinned knees and bad dreams

and legos and sword fights

and dollies and polly pockets,

I had never taken the time to ask either of my parents that question.

I have to say, 

I liked his answer.

The One About Teeth

Ruby lost her first tooth this week.

By lost, I mean asked Daddy to pull really really hard

while she tried her best not to cry and succeeded.

Now, our kids know all about the tooth fairy

(and Santa and the Easter Bunny and Where Babies Come From)

so they got very excited to help Ruby put her tooth under her pillow

and told me about forty bajillion times that I'd need to

remember to "be the Tooth Fairy" that night.

Even so, it took me two nights to accomplish that.

*sigh*

Pro tip:  I tell them that part of the "magic" is not knowing just when

Mommy will remember!

Anyway,

all this talk about Mommy gathering teeth in the middle of the night

led to recollections of other kids' lost teeth

and then Elijah said,

:"Mom?  Where do you have all my old teeth?  I want to look at them."

Um.

Hmmm.

At this point, I launched into an abbreviated explanation of how that could

look bad--forensically speaking--if I were to keep a jar full of children's teeth

in my dresser drawer.

*shudder*

So this week we've been hearing all about how everything feels different

when a tooth is missing from your mouth.

She's also been busy making sure everyone notices that fantastic space!

Ahhhh, milestones.

Speaking of milestones,

Cece got her first tooth!

It was a tad bittersweet for this mommy

because it means she's growing up.

I tend to get a bit more nostalgic about some of these firsts

as I get to be an older mom,

knowing that some of these firsts could be my lasts.

I Get to Be Her Mama

 This baby girl...

she's growing into a deLIGHTful little baby.

The first weeks were a bit sketchy;

she barely slept, cried so often, and nursed round the clock.

She was a challenge

and shook my confidence daily.

*cue Simon and Garfunkel's song "Cecelia"

which I have sung repeatedly* 

But now?

She's happy.

She sleeps.

She smiles and is even starting to laugh.

She nurses and is satisfied.

She's just plain ol' sweet.

 This one is blurry but I still like it.

*sigh*

And I get to be her mama.

How Do You Do It?

"How do you do it?"

I get this question asked of me all the time.

I don't know how to answer very well because what is usually implied is a mathematical equation.

If I have 2 kids and she has 10 kids, she must be 5 times as busy as I am...5 times the work...5 times the cooking...5 times as tired.

There is often a reference to how organized I must be or how well-behaved my kids must be that I keep having more.  It is assumed that I am more patient or that my husband more helpful than hers.

It just ain't so, folks.

Having more kids than you doesn't mean I'm more anything than you.

I'm a wife and a mom.

With rare exception, the person who asks me this question is a wife and a mom.

Same.

My friend Carrie posted an article today on facebook and I LOVE it.

Please go read the author's lovely way of explaining her answer to that question.

I feel like I should copy it off and hand it out to every person who asks me how I do it.

click here:  To Moms of One or Two Children

Victory

It is no small victory for the mother of boys when she notices there are more pairs of underwear coming through the wash.

Books We Love

I've been mothering little folks for a lot of years now...seventeen in fact.
Since our kids average about 20 months apart (closest space is 14 months, longest space is two months shy of three years), there hasn't been a time when I haven't had little people.
Life with littles can be a challenge; it's definitely an adventure and it can often seem draining.
Little people make big messes, chatter incessantly, seem hungry at every time other than meal time, and are nearly always on the move.
They are finding and asserting their independence, vacillating between wanting to do everything by themselves (even the things you wish they wouldn't try on their own, like pouring from a full pitcher of milk) to feigning helplessness on things you know they can do independently (like using a stool to reach a cup from the cupboard).

What I am thinking about today, though, is how much little people LOVE to be read to.  Nothing draws a crowd of littles faster than reading a story.  I believe it's so important to have and read good books.  I thought I'd list here some of our favorites--feel free to comment and tell me some of yours!

This list is in no way exhaustive, just a sampling of my favorites for younger ones.

The Little House 

Virginia Lee Burton won the Caldecott Medal in 1943 for her memorable picture book The Little House, a poignant story of a cute country cottage that becomes engulfed by the city that grows up around it. The house has an expressive face of windows and doors, and even the feelings of a person, so she’s sad when she’s surrounded by the dirty, noisy city’s hustle and bustle: “She missed the field of daisies / and the apple trees dancing in the moonlight.” Fortunately, there’s a happy ending, as the house is taken back to the country where she belongs. A classic!

Farmer Dillo Paints His Barn

Farmer Dillo (an armadillo) loves to work.  He built a brand new barn, but can't decide what color to paint it.  He finally gets it just right.  This is a fun one for little ones because they can easily participate by guessing what comes next.  We are on our second copy because our first one fell apart from so much lovin'.

Katy and the Big Snow

Katy is a brave and untiring tractor who pushes a bulldozer in the summer and a snowplow in the winter, making it possible for the townspeople to do their jobs.  There is a lot of information about heavy equipment in this book made easily memorable for little folks (and mommies).

The Story about Ping

Since 1933, The Story About Ping has captivated generations of readers. Ping is a spirited little duck who lives on a boat on the Yangtze River. Ping's misadventures one night while exploring the world around his home form the basis of this timeless classic, which is brought to life by Kurt Wiese's warm and poignant illustrations.

Little Mommy

The “Little Mommy” in this story is an adorable little girl. We spend the day in her charming company as she cares for her dolls, treats their ills, gives them a tea party, feeds them dinner, and puts them to bed. Beautifully illustrated, this book has a timeless feel.  Definitely a story loved by our little girls! Ruby and Ivy have it memorized.

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel

A modern classic that no child should miss. Since it was first published in 1939, Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel has delighted generations of children. Mike and his trusty steam shovel, Mary Anne, dig deep canals for boats to travel through, cut mountain passes for trains, and hollow out cellars for city skyscrapers -- the very symbol of industrial America. But with progress come new machines, and soon the inseparable duo are out of work. Mike believes that Mary Anne can dig as much in a day as one hundred men can dig in a week, and the two have one last chance to prove it and save Mary Anne from the scrap heap. What happens next in the small town of Popperville is a testament to their friendship, and to old-fashioned hard work and ingenuity.

Blueberries for Sal

A little girl and a bear wander away from their blueberry-picking mothers and each mistakes the other's mother for their own.  This story and it's illustrations are so, so cute!  

The Bunny Book

A daddy bunny plays with his baby bunny and says, “What will our baby be when he grows up?” Everyone, from the baby’s mother to big sister to Great Aunt Bunny, seems to know: a clown, a policeman, a candy store owner. But the baby only nibbles on his carrot and looks wise . . . for he knows he will grow up to be a nice daddy bunny!

I'd love if you'd tell me about YOUR favorites for little people!

In Moments Like These

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who ever feels like this, right?

Like the world is spinning pretty fast and you can only catch glimpses of stillness...

Each day seems to pass so quickly, yet I'll admit that sometimes I look at the clock and think "only 10 more hours until bedtime...I can do this..."

I heard something on Focus on the Family last week where the speaker encouraged just one better reaction;

instead of deciding that one needs to conquer a habit (say, a bad temper),

commit to having one better reaction to something that normally causes one's temper to flare.

Her point was that conquering a deeply ingrained habit can seem nearly impossible, too great a task to accomplish but that by focusing on just having one better reaction we might take small steps toward improvement.

So, I made it my goal to have one better reaction.  

And, like the speaker said it would on the broadcast, it has led to another better reaction and another.

I tend to get too upset by too many things;  I raise my voice and I am very sarcastic.

I feel I've responded better in several situations lately, though certainly not all.

 It has made for a better end of last week and beginning to this one.

In the midst of a bustling household, I have a VERY hard time just sitting still--even to read a story to my kids.  

I've purposed these last couple weeks to read more stories.  The younger kids are all for that!

Today I decided to sit down with my feet up and take 15 minutes to crochet on a project on which I've been working.  Then the washing machine beeped to let me know the load was finished.

My OCD-self really wanted, nearly needed, to get up and switch out that load.

My seeking-opportunities-for-stillness-self had to speak clearly to OCD-self:  

 "just keep stitching until these 15 minutes are up...the laundry can wait so that you're able to enjoy something relaxing for just seven more minutes." 

I waited until my pre-determined time was up and then went to the laundry room.

It had been a good 15 minutes of refreshment for me.

My legs and feet have been doing so very well this pregnancy;

usually by now I deal with some swelling but not this time!

That said, I do notice if I put in too much non-stop time on my feet so I'm learning to take a few minutes to sit when I need to.

It's in those moments especially that I feel like the picture at the top of this, my rambling post;

the busy-ness and business of a homeschooling, farming household doesn't ever really stop

but I can find stillness if I really seek it out, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Incidentally, I didn't take that picture.  I found it on the camera, presumably taken by Christopher and most likely while I was seeking stillness in another room--or switching a load of laundry.

I Recommend

For this week's I Recommend, I've listed three links.  One is a good reminder for moms, the other is a humorous read with good information particularly for home educators and the last is a yummy recipe.
Enjoy!

1.  The Mom Stays in the Picture     I never like being in pictures.  I wish I did.  I try hard.  I think, "smile...not too wide....careful not to do that thing with your lip...open your eyes a bit more, but not bug-like...turn so they can't see your big upper arms...put the baby in front of your belly..." etc. etc.  And when I actually see the picture?  Yuck.  That's what I look like???  Oh man...
BUT--whenever I've attended a funeral and watched the video photo collage and looked at the neat displays of pictures I think, "if I died, my family wouldn't have any pictures to even make one of these!"
The post above gave me much food for thought.  What I think I look like and what the camera captures are two different things.  However, what the camera captures IS what everyone else sees--so why do I hide?  It doesn't change what really is.  My friend Dawn posted the article on facebook and mentioned that years from now we will look back and think how great we looked--which is the very same thing I do when looking back at pictures of myself as a teen.  I thought I was so fat...so not pretty...so....yuck.
I look at my senior pictures now and wish I could weigh what I did then!  So, I'm deciding to get in the picture---and stay there.

2.  10 Lessons I've Learned from Thirty Years of Homeschooling     Though I haven't been at this homeschooling gig for 30 years, this year marks our eighth year of home-based Christian discipleship.  (That's what homeschooling is for me--it's not about the "school-ing".)  I read Vicky Farris' book, "A Mom Just Like You", I was intimidated.  At first.  About two paragraphs in, I was tearing up because she is SO real.  This article was written by her husband and is real, as well.  And funny--two of my favorite things!

3.  Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Latte Recipe     Fall has me wishing for the tastes of anything apple or pumpkin.  I tried this recipe last week. YUM.
I opened a can of pumpkin, used the 2 T. and portioned out the rest in small little containers to freeze.  I also brewed more coffee than I needed and froze that, too, so now I have a stash of pumpkin lattes waiting!  I live very rurally, so "treat coffee" is rare, indeed.  Now, I make it at home (usually in the afternoon, during my "break" time) and it really tastes the same!  And costs SIGNIFICANTLY less!  Try it and see!
P.S.  I wouldn't set the crockpot on high like she suggests.  I tried that once and the milk curdled.  I actually just whisk it up on the stovetop.

I Recommend

So many times I come across a blog post and think, "I should write about this post on my blog."
(And sometimes I think, "I think/did/do/believe the same thing--I wish I would have written that!")

So today, I decided to direct you to some posts of interest to me that I think might interest you.  Y'know, if motherhood "interests" you.
I'm toying with the idea of making this a routine practice; a regular "I Recommend" appearance on my little bloggity.  Let me know if you think I should.
Although truth be told, I'll probably do it anyway--just so you know.  Sometimes I'm sassy like that.


1.  Open Mouth, Insert Foot by MamaBirth.   Though of course I don't agree with everything she writes (I can't think of anyone I 100%-agree with except Jesus Christ), she has so many good (and bold!) insights into motherhood.  This post is definitely one of them.

2.  Women With More Than One Child Are Not Actually Crazy   again by MamaBirth.  My favorite line from this post:  "Even though you appear nuts, you love your kids and want MORE. Yes, your hands are full. No you can not afford them. Yes, you sometimes mix up their names. This is not actually an indicator that you have trudged too far down the path of insanity. It is just LIFE. And life can be hard, but children are still awesome. You see the beautiful moments, where everybody gets along and where there is just a touch of the divine in your home."

3.  Anatomy of a Mother by Gypsy Mama.  Lisa-Jo has amazing insight into this mothering gig.

4. How to Pray Without Using Words {Motherhood Edition} also by Gypsy Mama  This post hit close to my heart.  Especially when she says, "This is when I am most your mother."  Yep.  Exactly.

My Job

I admit it:  some days I get overwhelmed.

I get frustrated when the house is messy and the children are distracted and disobey.

But every day--from the worst to the best to the mundane--

I am so thankful that I get to stay home with our kids,

and that I stay home with my husband's blessing.

He doesn't want me to go to work, he knows I have plenty to do right here.

Do we do without some things?

Yes.

Am I happy to be the one who rocks my babies instead of hiring someone else to do it?

YES.

This picture of Elizabeth, with her chubby body clinging to my chubby body--

this is my job.

This is what I have been called to do.

To cook, clean, and read stories.

To train, teach, direct, and disciple.

To wash endless amounts of laundry, change countless diapers,

settle disputes, kiss away hurts, and accept weeds flowers from little hands.

To wipe sticky hands, laugh at silly antics, encourage young and growing hearts.

These and much more are my life's work.

And I will do it heartily, as unto the Lord.

I Hope You'll Always Know

To my daughters:

I hope you always know how much we love you.

I hope you always know how beautiful you are.

I hope you will always know how precious you are--

that no matter what anyone says or does to you

that you would know without doubt that you are precious.

I hope that you will acknowledge that all bodies are made differently,

and that you will love and accept your own unique design.

I hope that you always know the joy and delight you bring me.

I hope you always know that you were and are wanted.

I hope the only pain you'll know will be the kind that makes you stronger,

not the kind that shatters you.

I hope you will always know that you belong.

I hope you'll always know the love of a family.

I hope you'll always know that I am honored to be your mama.

These things I hope you'll always know.

I'm Blessed: To Rock a Baby

I'm coming in at the end of the day to write along with Gretchen's I'm Blessed series on Mondays.

Have you ever thought about what a blessing it is to rock a baby?

I have come to the conclusion that I haven't thought nearly enough about that--nine children and I'm just now taking the time to simply revel in the beauty of rocking a baby to sleep.

Whether you're a mother or not, you've likely had the chance to hold a baby--have you ever thought what a gift that was?  That that little someone felt safe enough with you to fall asleep in your arms?  That their little body relaxed against yours, their crying stopped, perhaps their eyes met yours--they didn't cry, s/he just trusted you to keep them safe.  

When I can feel my little ones get heavier as their eyelids droop,

the last *sigh* as they give in to the sweet reprieve of rest--

Ahhhhh, what a blessing it is to rock a baby.

We Had a Hard Night

We had a hard night, 'Liz-beth and me...

She was up several times, wanting to nurse and/or just be held.

Normally, this wouldn't have been such a problem

but she and I were on the go yesterday and I was as worn out as I could be.

I think that was her deal, too--just a little strung out from her not-normal day.

I confess that I get plenty frustrated when a baby or child has several needs during a night.

I like my sleep.

I really like my sleep.

And I got frustrated with Elizabeth for being so needy 

after we both had had such a long day.

But when I see her like this,

peaceful...serene...beautiful...

I sometimes wonder how I could get so frustrated

with such a lovely little being.

I am reminded this morning of Michelle Duggar's

decision to choose JOY.

On a dvd our Mom's Group watched last night,

Mrs. Duggar spoke of how some days with tears streaming down her face

from feelings of being overwhelmed,

she chooses to sing

"the joy of the Lord is my strength."

You may remember that song from Sunday School or Vacation Bible School...

It was just what I needed  to hear.

Because some days this Mommy-gig is a tough one.

But His strength is made known in my weakness.

Even though I'm tired,

today I choose to sing a song of joy.

Today,

I choose joy.

edited to add: apparently Nicki and I are experiencing the same feelings.
Her post from today is absolutely lovely.

Yes and No

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, I'm not "off" on my dates.

I'm certain of both my lmp and the conception date, in case you're really curious.

Yes, I'm aware of the "risks" of being pregnant "too long."

No, I'm not interested in an induction.

Though I have been induced once, I didn't know then what I know now.

Inductions are risky, too.

You may, of course, choose one for yourself--that would be your decision to make. 

I would rather not--which would be my decision to make.

Yes, I have recently seen my midwife.

No, nothing is "wrong".

Babies come on their own time--not anyone else's--if they are let alone.

My blood pressure is fine, I have virtually no swelling,

Baby's heart tones are great.

There is no reason at this point to intervene.

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, I'm not a very patient person.

Waiting is hard--very hard for me.

Considering that I've been "ready" since about 38 weeks,

and up many, many nights timing contractions,

it is not only physically tiring, but mentally and emotionally tiring.

Yes, I'd really like to meet this baby face to face.

No,  I don't take for granted that, for the time being, I can do something or go somewhere and not have to "worry" about feeding the baby every hour and a half.

Yes, I know I'm overdue.

No, the comment, "You're STILL PREGNANT???!!!" does not help.

What does help is a listening ear, a phone call/text/email/facebook post to let me know you're thinking of me and waiting to hear about the new baby.

I'm a pretty private person (makes total sense that I have a blog, then, doesn't it?)

and tend to get quite introverted as Baby's arrival draws near

so I may not always be up to answering the phone

but I will call you back.

I promise I will post it on facebook

and here on my blog

as soon as Baby comes out to meet us!

Am I ready?

Yes and no.

I have given three of my guys their haircuts; three to go.

I cleaned the garage, but the kitchen floor really needs to be washed.

I'm ready to take a deep breath again.  I've forgotten what one feels like.

I'm ready to be rid of this horrible heartburn.

I'm cherishing the baby's kicks and rolls inside of me;

soon this babe will be rather independent.

I'm lovingly rubbing my big round tummy, knowing that it won't be long until a big round tummy causes me to cry while getting ready for church because nothing fits and the baby's crying to be fed and we're already 10 minutes late.

Yes, I'm overdue.

No, it can't be much longer now until we meet our newest child.

10 Ways...

I may have found a new blog to stalk...

Mama Birth

I love, love, LOVE these two posts:

10 Ways to Prepare a Mom for a Bad Birth

and

10 Ways to Prepare a Mom for a Great Birth

Yes, I am on my soapbox--

not because I think everyone should birth in a certain way,

but because I believe that so many women could birth in a better way than they are led to believe.

Taking Care of "Business"

It had been that kind of day.
The kind of day that you wish was over and it's not even 4:00 yet.
The kind of day where I made an early supper because I just wanted to be done--done with cooking, done with washing dishes, done with baths, done with bedtime, just.
done.

But it was only 5:30.
So, I did what I always do when I need to check out for awhile.
I purposed to take a bath.

The older children know that they are not to bother Mom in the tub on a day like that unless they are bleeding or on fire.
Ruby,  however, did not.

She knocked on the door.
I wanted to deny her entrance, but knowing that I could end up needing to clean up a puddle if she were not allowed through the door, I granted permission for her to enter.
I pulled the shower curtain shut, she came in and sat down on the little potty seat next to the tub.

I had lit a good-smelling candle, but even it couldn't cover up the "scent" of what she was doing.
Arghhhhhh.
"Ruby, are you done yet?"
"Nope."
"Are you done yet?"
"No."
"Now?"
"Not yet."
Arghhhhhh.
I just wanted a bath, some time to myself, and some reprieve from bad smells.
Obviously, that wasn't going to happen.
Because that is part of my life.
Babies and toddlers and poo.
Grown men and boys and barn clothes and poo.
Little children who never remember to flush the toilet (!!!) and poo.

And so, when my darling little three year old was finished stinking up the whole bathroom minutes after I'd begun my "relaxing" bath, she peeks around the shower curtain and says, ever-so-sweetly, "I'm done now, Mommy, and you take care of the poop, ok?" and out the door she went.

Yes, sweetheart, I'll take care of the poop.
Because that's {part of} my job.

How Do We View Children?

If you do nothing else today,

please, please, pretty please

click the link below

and read the article

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

Paragraphs that struck a chord with me:

"[According to the world] Children rank way below college.  Below world travel for sure.  Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure.  Below honing your body at the gym.  Below any job you have or hope to get.  In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do.  Below everything.  Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing." 

 "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling.  You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in.  It is what God gave you time for."

"Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory.  When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike.  You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values.  You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy.  You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another--and laying down your life for another represents the gospel."

I know one thing:

I want my hands to be full of good things

and for my life to testify to that. 

I'm Blessed: Life

Gretchen has some wonderful things to share today

with her I'm Blessed post.

I don't know why the Monday I'm Blessed blog party 

always sneaks up on me, but it does.

I see her post and go, "Oh yeah!  I'd like to write along for that!"

so I sit down to write how the Lord has blessed me.

Today Gretchen's thoughts mirror 

many of my own regarding life.

I don't know that I've ever played the "why them?" card.

More often, when grief assails,

I think to myself, "why not me?"

I have certainly dealt with my share of difficult things;

disappointment, financial setbacks, failures, health issues within our family, etc.

BUT

I have never endured the loss of a child.

With each health history that I've filled out when pregnant,

they are always surprised to find out that the number of pregnancies is equal to the number of live births.

Each of our children has been born healthy and whole.

Any medical issue we've had has been extremely minor.

We have never dealt with even a developmental delay.

Many women struggle to conceive;

that has not been an issue for us.

Believe me--it is not something I take for granted.

My life as a homemaker/homeschooler/at-home-mom

allows me to see things that I would have otherwise missed.

While each day is filled with sink-fulls of dishes,

loads and loads of laundry, diapers to change, noses and bottoms to wipe,

discipline to mete out, fly-tape hanging in our house,

cereal on the floor, grease on the stove, milk that got left out,

messes of unknown origin, mice trying to make a winter home,

etcetera, etcetera---

it is also filled to the brim with

dollies in strollers, barbies strewn about the floor,

cowboy boots, cowboy guns, and cowboy hats,

toy tractors working carpet-fields, block towers,

books stacked to make race car ramps,

lumber arranged for bike ramps, 

tea parties, pony tails, ruffle-y skirts, ballerina shoes,

inquiries regarding the arrival of the next issue of Guns and Ammo, 

conversations about hunting seasons and regulations, 

and talk about what a nice calf #423 had last night.

I am watching babies grow to toddlers,

little girls to young ladies, little boys to big boys,

and boys grow into men.

I have a front row seat to life.

I am blessed. 

Because I Can

When I was on my walk this morning,

I noticed the wildflowers in the ditch.

I knew they would make Ruby smile,

and brighten the table, too.

Then I thought,

"What if someone drives by and sees me picking flowers in the ditch?"

And then I thought, 

"Who cares?  It's our land, for goodness' sake."

From there, 

the ramblings in my mind went something like this:

On this "first day of school" for nearly every child in MN,

we are NOT doing school--because we can.

I'm so grateful to live in a country where we have the freedom to 

choose how we educate our children.

I go on a walk in the morning because I want to,

need to,

and because I can--

I don't have job or a boss who dictates where I will be or when.

If I wake up 15 minutes late--or an hour late--it doesn't really matter.

I'm so thankful my husband works hard so I can stay home.

We don't have extra money,

but I can be home with our kids--

or out and about with our kids--

and not have to worry about a "day off".

I have all kinds of work to do every day

and I do it because I decide it needs to be done

and because I can--

I'm thankful for an able body to do all the laundry,

cooking, cleaning, and teaching

and a disappearing lap :-) for reading stories.

(And if I want to take a nap, 

I can.)

Today I'm taking the six younger children to visit my aunt and uncle in ND.

You guessed it--because I can.

I didn't need to put in for time off or sign the children out of anything.

We'll be gone until Thursday.

This is the first time I've ever done anything like this;

I feel strangely empowered and free at the same time!

We've been trying to work it out for two years,

so it's not exactly spur of the moment... :-)

So much about motherhood can be focused on what we can't do--

today I was powerfully reminded about all the things I can.

I'm trying to re-claim the joy 

that is to be found in my calling.

I think I'm starting to...