Value in the Mundane

One day there won't be super-hero socks, little tan pants, or small pink and blue things on my clothesline. 

I know that I will miss the little bodies that created so much laundry to clean and dry. 

With offspring that span as many years as mine, I get a somewhat unique view of the passage of time and the growth of my children----from large work clothes down to itty-bitty onesies, I know there is value in the mundane. 

While the world tells me to "get out", 

I know in my heart there is much to do *here*.

If You Had to Guess

If you were to see these socks on the floor in your room,

would you guess that they were dirty or clean?

If you were my kids,

you'd be stumped and throw them in the hamper anyway

because one can never be too careful with laundry.

When in doubt, it must be dirty, right?

#itseemsobvioustoMom

I Get to Be Her Mama

 This baby girl...

she's growing into a deLIGHTful little baby.

The first weeks were a bit sketchy;

she barely slept, cried so often, and nursed round the clock.

She was a challenge

and shook my confidence daily.

*cue Simon and Garfunkel's song "Cecelia"

which I have sung repeatedly* 

But now?

She's happy.

She sleeps.

She smiles and is even starting to laugh.

She nurses and is satisfied.

She's just plain ol' sweet.

 This one is blurry but I still like it.

*sigh*

And I get to be her mama.

Not Divided, But Mulitplied

It is one of motherhood's greatest miracles

that my heart is not divided by eleven

but multiplied by it instead.

Some Weekend Reading

1.  One of the funniest things I've ever read. 

Worst End of Summer Mom Ever:  A Sequel

2. It's time to arm yourself with information, Mamas. 

What to Reject When You're Expecting

3.  A series of posts that talk about commonly held myths or lies in obstetrics.

OB Lies

4.  We expect too much out of post-partum mothers.  "{Our} country is one of the only utterly lacking in a culture of postpartum care." 

Why are America's Post-Partum Practices So Rough On New Mothers?

5.  A new blog I've recently discovered.  Excellent post.  

You Have Too Many Children to Give Them What They Need

How Do You Do It?

"How do you do it?"

I get this question asked of me all the time.

I don't know how to answer very well because what is usually implied is a mathematical equation.

If I have 2 kids and she has 10 kids, she must be 5 times as busy as I am...5 times the work...5 times the cooking...5 times as tired.

There is often a reference to how organized I must be or how well-behaved my kids must be that I keep having more.  It is assumed that I am more patient or that my husband more helpful than hers.

It just ain't so, folks.

Having more kids than you doesn't mean I'm more anything than you.

I'm a wife and a mom.

With rare exception, the person who asks me this question is a wife and a mom.

Same.

My friend Carrie posted an article today on facebook and I LOVE it.

Please go read the author's lovely way of explaining her answer to that question.

I feel like I should copy it off and hand it out to every person who asks me how I do it.

click here:  To Moms of One or Two Children

Ruby's Thoughts on Motherhood

Ruby came to town with Abram and me so that we could drop off some 4-H papers, go to the library, get her glasses adjusted, drop Andrew off with a friend for a sleepover, and get some groceries.  

As it was just the three of us and I was driving our little car and not our 15 passenger van, I got to hear all of her thoughts.  

Ruby has lots of thoughts.

Here is what she had to say about being a mommy.

"I can't wait 'till I get to be a mommy."

"I know...you're gonna be a gooooood mama, Ruby."  I said.

She continued, " Yep.  'Cause then I will get to have a baby.  And I will get to do my own hair by mySELF.  I'll get to nurse my baby, too.  I'll get to touch hot cooking things all by myself.  

"Aaaaaaaaaaand I will get to have a purse.  With money in it.  And maaaaaakeup.  

"I'll do the shopping all by myself. (wha?  I don't even get to do that!!)

*gasp* "I'll get dressed whenever I want!!!!

"I'll get to go wherever I want...I'll be the one who gets to give everyone their bath...and I'll get to tell everyone to do their chores.

"Hey--Mom's don't even get a spankin'!

"And that's why it's SO exciting to be a MAMA!!!" she excitedly sighed.  "I can't wait...."

Encouraging Mothers

I promise you this post is not intended to be self-serving.  Promise!!
It's just that, well, see, having a baby is sort of on the forefront of my mind these days and it came to mind that I had recommended this post a year ago.
I share it again now with additional links for moms in general--not just when they have new babies. :)

100 Ways to Encourage a New Mom

Ten Simple Ways to Bless a Mom

Dear Overwhelmed Mother of Little Ones

37 Weeks

Thirty-seven weeks.
Hm.

That point in pregnancy when people usually respond with some variation of "So, wow--the baby could really come any time!"

I've heard that before.
I think it makes the next several weeks seem awfully long.  Because I know from experience that I could be pregnant for quite awhile yet!
On the other hand, it's good to be ready just in case baby does come early-ish.

So, I've washed up a little bit of pink and a little bit of blue and the handful of gender-neutral little bitty things that I've accumulated over the years of having babies.


Even though this is my tenth baby, there are still a lot of "new" things for me.

For one, planning to have the baby at home.  All the other children have been born in a hospital; eight under obstetrical care in our local hospital and #9 was with a midwife in a different hospital.  It's new to me to know that I won't have to stress about when to make the decision of when to leave for the hospital.  Everyone scares you with their stories of women having babies in the car, and how you'd better run to the hospital at the first twinge because after one or two babies, you know, they just practically fall right out.  Except they don't.
So, what I'm getting at is that I think it will take some of the pressure off of me knowing that I only need to call the midwife and she comes to me and all I'll need to do is keep laboring until the baby is in my arms.

Another "new" is a new midwife.  I had to search around a bit for recommendations because there are no midwives near where we live.  This woman is located about an hour and fifteen minutes away from me.  I'm very pleased with our relationship thus far and hopefully I get to continue my care with her for many years.

Also "new" is a different doula.  My wonderful friend Megan assisted at both Ivy's and Elizabeth's births.  What a wonderful help a doula is!!!  I had never had the help of one before and would highly recommend one for any pregnant woman.  Another friend Sarah will be with us this time.  It's new, but exciting.


I have all the birth things ready now and that was a new process for me.  My midwife recommended this site and I ordered what I needed from there.  (I didn't order a "kit" because I already had accumulated several things from the list my midwife gave me, so I just ordered the items I didn't already have.)
Going through the process of having these things on hand at home made me realize that it would have been a good idea to have an Emergency Birth Kit on hand for the other babies.  Especially since we live very rurally and the nearest hospital is 30 minutes away; also, several of the babies have been born during the time of year when weather could have been a travel factor here in MN.  For $12, really, every pregnant woman should have one of these kits.  Maybe those car-birthers wouldn't have been so freaked out if they'd had one! :)  I feel it would take a bit of the scariness out of an unassisted birth knowing you had the right tools at hand.

Another "new" is making the decisions for me and the baby based off of things that I've learned, as opposed to just "letting" the clinic/hospital staff tell me it needs to be done.  I may post about some of them in the future, I'm not sure yet, but for brevity here those decisions include the Gestational Diabetes screen, ultrasound, Group B strep culture, Vitamin K for baby, erythromycin in baby's eyes, cord clamping, etc.

One last "new" thing I'll mention:  Dennis looked at me last week and asked, "Are you sure you're gonna make it another month??"  To which I responded, "Thank you for noticing!!!"  It's the first time that he's ever commented on my pregnant-size so it struck me funny.
Some women may have felt offended, but not me--I've felt so big for so long, bigger than with the other children, that I keep wondering the same thing!

That's all the "new" news I have for now...it won't be too much longer and I can show you pictures of a little someone new!

In Moments Like These

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who ever feels like this, right?

Like the world is spinning pretty fast and you can only catch glimpses of stillness...

Each day seems to pass so quickly, yet I'll admit that sometimes I look at the clock and think "only 10 more hours until bedtime...I can do this..."

I heard something on Focus on the Family last week where the speaker encouraged just one better reaction;

instead of deciding that one needs to conquer a habit (say, a bad temper),

commit to having one better reaction to something that normally causes one's temper to flare.

Her point was that conquering a deeply ingrained habit can seem nearly impossible, too great a task to accomplish but that by focusing on just having one better reaction we might take small steps toward improvement.

So, I made it my goal to have one better reaction.  

And, like the speaker said it would on the broadcast, it has led to another better reaction and another.

I tend to get too upset by too many things;  I raise my voice and I am very sarcastic.

I feel I've responded better in several situations lately, though certainly not all.

 It has made for a better end of last week and beginning to this one.

In the midst of a bustling household, I have a VERY hard time just sitting still--even to read a story to my kids.  

I've purposed these last couple weeks to read more stories.  The younger kids are all for that!

Today I decided to sit down with my feet up and take 15 minutes to crochet on a project on which I've been working.  Then the washing machine beeped to let me know the load was finished.

My OCD-self really wanted, nearly needed, to get up and switch out that load.

My seeking-opportunities-for-stillness-self had to speak clearly to OCD-self:  

 "just keep stitching until these 15 minutes are up...the laundry can wait so that you're able to enjoy something relaxing for just seven more minutes." 

I waited until my pre-determined time was up and then went to the laundry room.

It had been a good 15 minutes of refreshment for me.

My legs and feet have been doing so very well this pregnancy;

usually by now I deal with some swelling but not this time!

That said, I do notice if I put in too much non-stop time on my feet so I'm learning to take a few minutes to sit when I need to.

It's in those moments especially that I feel like the picture at the top of this, my rambling post;

the busy-ness and business of a homeschooling, farming household doesn't ever really stop

but I can find stillness if I really seek it out, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Incidentally, I didn't take that picture.  I found it on the camera, presumably taken by Christopher and most likely while I was seeking stillness in another room--or switching a load of laundry.

I Recommend

For this week's I Recommend, I've listed three links.  One is a good reminder for moms, the other is a humorous read with good information particularly for home educators and the last is a yummy recipe.
Enjoy!

1.  The Mom Stays in the Picture     I never like being in pictures.  I wish I did.  I try hard.  I think, "smile...not too wide....careful not to do that thing with your lip...open your eyes a bit more, but not bug-like...turn so they can't see your big upper arms...put the baby in front of your belly..." etc. etc.  And when I actually see the picture?  Yuck.  That's what I look like???  Oh man...
BUT--whenever I've attended a funeral and watched the video photo collage and looked at the neat displays of pictures I think, "if I died, my family wouldn't have any pictures to even make one of these!"
The post above gave me much food for thought.  What I think I look like and what the camera captures are two different things.  However, what the camera captures IS what everyone else sees--so why do I hide?  It doesn't change what really is.  My friend Dawn posted the article on facebook and mentioned that years from now we will look back and think how great we looked--which is the very same thing I do when looking back at pictures of myself as a teen.  I thought I was so fat...so not pretty...so....yuck.
I look at my senior pictures now and wish I could weigh what I did then!  So, I'm deciding to get in the picture---and stay there.

2.  10 Lessons I've Learned from Thirty Years of Homeschooling     Though I haven't been at this homeschooling gig for 30 years, this year marks our eighth year of home-based Christian discipleship.  (That's what homeschooling is for me--it's not about the "school-ing".)  I read Vicky Farris' book, "A Mom Just Like You", I was intimidated.  At first.  About two paragraphs in, I was tearing up because she is SO real.  This article was written by her husband and is real, as well.  And funny--two of my favorite things!

3.  Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Latte Recipe     Fall has me wishing for the tastes of anything apple or pumpkin.  I tried this recipe last week. YUM.
I opened a can of pumpkin, used the 2 T. and portioned out the rest in small little containers to freeze.  I also brewed more coffee than I needed and froze that, too, so now I have a stash of pumpkin lattes waiting!  I live very rurally, so "treat coffee" is rare, indeed.  Now, I make it at home (usually in the afternoon, during my "break" time) and it really tastes the same!  And costs SIGNIFICANTLY less!  Try it and see!
P.S.  I wouldn't set the crockpot on high like she suggests.  I tried that once and the milk curdled.  I actually just whisk it up on the stovetop.

I Recommend

So many times I come across a blog post and think, "I should write about this post on my blog."
(And sometimes I think, "I think/did/do/believe the same thing--I wish I would have written that!")

So today, I decided to direct you to some posts of interest to me that I think might interest you.  Y'know, if motherhood "interests" you.
I'm toying with the idea of making this a routine practice; a regular "I Recommend" appearance on my little bloggity.  Let me know if you think I should.
Although truth be told, I'll probably do it anyway--just so you know.  Sometimes I'm sassy like that.


1.  Open Mouth, Insert Foot by MamaBirth.   Though of course I don't agree with everything she writes (I can't think of anyone I 100%-agree with except Jesus Christ), she has so many good (and bold!) insights into motherhood.  This post is definitely one of them.

2.  Women With More Than One Child Are Not Actually Crazy   again by MamaBirth.  My favorite line from this post:  "Even though you appear nuts, you love your kids and want MORE. Yes, your hands are full. No you can not afford them. Yes, you sometimes mix up their names. This is not actually an indicator that you have trudged too far down the path of insanity. It is just LIFE. And life can be hard, but children are still awesome. You see the beautiful moments, where everybody gets along and where there is just a touch of the divine in your home."

3.  Anatomy of a Mother by Gypsy Mama.  Lisa-Jo has amazing insight into this mothering gig.

4. How to Pray Without Using Words {Motherhood Edition} also by Gypsy Mama  This post hit close to my heart.  Especially when she says, "This is when I am most your mother."  Yep.  Exactly.

My Job

I admit it:  some days I get overwhelmed.

I get frustrated when the house is messy and the children are distracted and disobey.

But every day--from the worst to the best to the mundane--

I am so thankful that I get to stay home with our kids,

and that I stay home with my husband's blessing.

He doesn't want me to go to work, he knows I have plenty to do right here.

Do we do without some things?

Yes.

Am I happy to be the one who rocks my babies instead of hiring someone else to do it?

YES.

This picture of Elizabeth, with her chubby body clinging to my chubby body--

this is my job.

This is what I have been called to do.

To cook, clean, and read stories.

To train, teach, direct, and disciple.

To wash endless amounts of laundry, change countless diapers,

settle disputes, kiss away hurts, and accept weeds flowers from little hands.

To wipe sticky hands, laugh at silly antics, encourage young and growing hearts.

These and much more are my life's work.

And I will do it heartily, as unto the Lord.

I Hope You'll Always Know

To my daughters:

I hope you always know how much we love you.

I hope you always know how beautiful you are.

I hope you will always know how precious you are--

that no matter what anyone says or does to you

that you would know without doubt that you are precious.

I hope that you will acknowledge that all bodies are made differently,

and that you will love and accept your own unique design.

I hope that you always know the joy and delight you bring me.

I hope you always know that you were and are wanted.

I hope the only pain you'll know will be the kind that makes you stronger,

not the kind that shatters you.

I hope you will always know that you belong.

I hope you'll always know the love of a family.

I hope you'll always know that I am honored to be your mama.

These things I hope you'll always know.

Baby, Dear

Where Did You Come From, Baby Dear?

~George MacDonald

Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of the everywhere into here.

Where did you get your eyes so blue?

Out of the sky as I came through.

What makes the light in them sparkle and spin?

Some of the starry spikes left in.

Where did you get that little tear?

I found it waiting when I got here.

What makes your forehead so smooth and high?

A soft hand stroked it as I went by.

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?

I saw something better than anyone knows.

Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss?

Three angels gave me at once a kiss.

Where did you get this pearly ear?

God spoke, and it came out to hear.

Where did you get those arms and hands?

Love made itself into bonds and bands.

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?

From the same box as the cherubs' wings.

How did they all just come to be you?

God thought about me, and so I grew.

But how did you come to us, you dear?

God thought about you, and so I am here.

We Had a Hard Night

We had a hard night, 'Liz-beth and me...

She was up several times, wanting to nurse and/or just be held.

Normally, this wouldn't have been such a problem

but she and I were on the go yesterday and I was as worn out as I could be.

I think that was her deal, too--just a little strung out from her not-normal day.

I confess that I get plenty frustrated when a baby or child has several needs during a night.

I like my sleep.

I really like my sleep.

And I got frustrated with Elizabeth for being so needy 

after we both had had such a long day.

But when I see her like this,

peaceful...serene...beautiful...

I sometimes wonder how I could get so frustrated

with such a lovely little being.

I am reminded this morning of Michelle Duggar's

decision to choose JOY.

On a dvd our Mom's Group watched last night,

Mrs. Duggar spoke of how some days with tears streaming down her face

from feelings of being overwhelmed,

she chooses to sing

"the joy of the Lord is my strength."

You may remember that song from Sunday School or Vacation Bible School...

It was just what I needed  to hear.

Because some days this Mommy-gig is a tough one.

But His strength is made known in my weakness.

Even though I'm tired,

today I choose to sing a song of joy.

Today,

I choose joy.

edited to add: apparently Nicki and I are experiencing the same feelings.
Her post from today is absolutely lovely.

What I'm Saying, and What I'm Not (aka My Standard Disclaimer)

It has become glaringly obvious that some of the people who read and comment on my blog don’t share my worldview. This is fine; I welcome their comments and curiosity, but it does contribute to some misunderstandings. I’d like to help rectify that by stating some facts that are, in my mind, unspoken assumptions underlying all my posts.

Because we believe that God has asked certain things of us, I will continue to tell you about them--even if those things are counter-cultural and make you upset with me--for God has said, "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."  Matthew 10:27

Depending on who you are and where you are coming from philosophically, these points may either seem painfully obvious or shockingly [insert insult here: closed minded, old-fashioned, arrogant...].

Dennis and I believe that:
God is sovereign over all of creation. (Psalm 33, Psalm 97)
Our chief end is to glorify God in everything we do. Though we too often fall short, it remains our goal. 1 Corinthians 10:31)
Scripture is infallible and fully sufficient to teach us to serve God. Whatever we need to know about Him and His nature and requirements of us is contained either explicitly or implicitly in the Scriptures. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
There is no neutrality. All people, institutions, and ideas are either for Christ or against Christ. Education is not neutral. Law and government are not neutral. Families cannot be neutral. A blog is not neutral. (Matthew 12:30)
Right and wrong are absolutes, and they do not change because someone feels ok about something. Sometimes there is more than one good (God honoring) option; sometimes there is not. You (or I) may feel convicted to do things a particular way – but we may still be wrong. Thus, we go back to the Scriptures. (2 Peter 1:20-21)

When I state what we believe or how we do things in our house or family---

We ARE NOT saying that anyone who does differently is in sin and/or going to hell. You might be in sin, and I might be so bold as to state my opinion to that effect. But don’t worry--nobody ever went to hell for disagreeing with me. You must answer to God and His Word. 

We ARE NOT saying that anyone who reads the Scriptures and comes to a different conclusion or conviction based on the Scriptures is wrong and we're right. Again, you might be wrong and I might be right. I’ll probably think so. But your job is to make sure you are acting in accordance with Scripture, not with me. 

We ARE NOT saying that my generalizations cover every case imaginable. Yes, you can always think of exceptions, but it is poor logic to argue the rule from the exception.

We ARE NOT saying that we are perfect and have all the answers. God has called us to judge righteous judgements, so it is our duty to try to come to the right answers. I know that some of my answers will be wrong, but my own fallibility should not stop me from seeking to know and serve God better. 

To sum it up: Some of what I write will deal with principles, while other material will deal with methods. 

Principles are issues where there is a Biblical teaching at work: you (and I) are either right or wrong on this one. Obviously, I’ll try to stay on the right side. You might come to a different conclusion, but one of us is right and one of us is wrong. 

We draw our applications from convictions: convictions derived from Scripture. Part of what this blog is about is the idea that someone somewhere might be interested in or appreciate what we are doing or be helped by understanding why we do it.

This is why I try to be sure I am reasoning from Scripture – but I don’t feel as though I have the last word on Scripture. God grants us broad liberty in Christ, and Jesus’s blood covers lots of mistakes.

I have also changed my comment process, since there were some who couldn't play nice.  I will no longer allow anonymous comments.  As I tell my kids, if you feel that strongly about something, you'd better at least be willing to sign your name to it.

Thanks!

We May Have Something In Common

When I meet people who "only" have a few kids (their words, not mine), they often think their lives are quite different than mine.
But we may not be all that different...

If you are tired of trying to come up with a meal that at least most of your family enjoys, we may have something in common.

If you've heard your name (Mom) spoken in love, fear, anger, panic, desperation, joy, or all of the above, we may have something in common.

If you hear your name (Mom) spoken a bajillion times in one day, we may have something in common.

If you can't remember the last time you used the bathroom uninterrupted, we may have something in common.

If you know the bring-you-to-your-knees pain of stepping on a lego, we may have something in common.

If you've now come to the point where you interrupt yourself,  we may have something in common.

If you have told someone you needed to "use the potty" and that someone was not your child, we may have something in common.

If it has taken you more than three attempts to get to the right child's name (Natha--Isai--Li--Andrew!) we may have something in common.

If you've looked at your spouse over the heads of your children and realized you can't even remember what life was like before you had them, we may have something in common.

If you have nursed your baby during an eye exam, we most definitely have something in common.

If you have ever used the bathroom while holding a sleeping baby because you were so desperate for the baby to stay asleep that you dared not risk him/her waking up by laying them down,  we may have something in common.

If you've ever considered using instant coffee granules as bath salts, we may have something in common.

If upon seeing a tube on the bathroom counter, you have gone to your 3 year old to make sure that she didn't just brush her teeth with diaper ointment instead of toothpaste, we may have something in common.

If you have looked over this list and realized how many of these real-life-occurrences have to do with the bathroom, we may have something in common.

Encouragement for New Moms

Recommended by my friend Theresa,

this post is just too lovely and too helpful not to share:

100 Ways to Encourage a New Mom

For me one of the most helpful things after Elizabeth was born were the meals.

I said more than once that there were three main things on my mother-plate at that time

1) caring for the children and Dennis

2) laundry and general upkeep of the house

3) cooking 

It seemed I was only able to keep up with two of the three.  

If the kids got dressed and I got a meal on the table, then there was no way the clothes got washed and there were toys and junk everywhere.

If I kept the house from being worthy of a visit from a social worker and got everyone fed, then it seemed like I hadn't even held the baby or cared for the other children.

If I made supper and the kids were in good shape, then no one had clean clothes to wear!

(Some may say to just re-wear and we did to a point.  But on a farm it's pretty imperative to keep up with the laundry!)

Not to mention that along with the major life-event that is childbirth and the sleep deprivation comes a numbing of the mind--the seeming inability to put things in order enough to assemble a meal, much less put it together and serve it even remotely on time!

Hence, it was SO HELPFUL to not have to worry about that one aspect on the days when I had help with meals.

Once when we all were under the weather and I was newly pregnant and feeling crummy from that,

a friend sent me an email and said she'd be over on a certain day, she'd be able to stay for about an hour, and for me to think of what I would like help with during that time.

This was so helpful because it

1) gave me time to think {remember the numb mind?!}

2) let me know she was coming for more than a visit {A "plain" visit is great--don't get me wrong!}

3) gave me time to prepare

I had her help me wash the kitchen floor.  

Had she just stopped by for a visit and said "what can help with?" my personality is such that I could never have asked her to wash the floor because I wouldn't have had time to sweep it first!  (I'm easily embarrassed by our messes.)

What have been your most helpful experiences?

Maybe not even with a new baby--maybe it's been during an illness or after a loss.

If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear!

Just Another Ordinary Morning

"Who spilled apple juice on the kitchen floor???" I hear Linnea say.  She begins to grab for some towels to wipe it up.

It is suggested that it was maybe Ruby.
We tried to figure out how that happened...Ruby doesn't usually take anything out of the fridge and she had finished her breakfast and juice much earlier.

But wait--as I was coming to the kitchen, I recall seeing Ruby in her room changing her clothes.

Super-sleuth that I am, I started putting two and two together.

"Linnea?  Wait...I, uh, don't think that's apple juice..."

Yes.  Ruby had pottied on the floor.

At least no one had slipped in it.

No wonder people envy my cute little life.