The Birth of Cecelia Corinne

Goodness, what a busy last three weeks!
During the last weeks of pregnancy, I thought I would prepare several posts to have ready to publish so that I wouldn't have to think about it during the immediate postpartum days.  Ha!  That didn't happen...

I have wanted to share the story of Cece's birth so many times.  I wanted to write it well, and to do that I knew I would need two hands and the chance to have a few complete thoughts.
These have been in short supply as of late.

I guess the best way to tell a story is to just start, right?

Labor started at about 2:00 on a Friday afternoon, I had been feeling "different" since about 11:00 am that day.
I decided to send the kids to my parents' house (they both work but we have a key to their house so Linnea could just watch them down there).  They loaded into the suburban and Isaiah drove them over.
While I was getting kids out the door there were no contractions.  If I laid down, I could time contractions that were reliably 10 mins apart.
I texted Beth (my fabulous midwife) to let her know what was going on and we agreed to wait watchfully.

Dennis called in to let them know he'd be late for his shift hauling beets.  He didn't want to miss the baby's birth.  He'd be working an hour away and was worried he wouldn't get back in time if I called him later to come home once things picked up.
  Once the kids were out of the house I decided to try rest.
(I was all alone in the house.  This never happens.  Like, NEVER.  Well, I think I could list maybe two other times in the 18 years I've lived here, so never isn't exactly true.  Rarely, then.  RARELY.)
The contractions were each enough to wake me and I was needing to breathe through each one.  I texted Beth again, and my husband kept texting me asking if I had asked Beth to start this way yet.  He was worried I would wait too long and she'd miss it as she has an 80 minute drive to get to me.
He was nearby, chopping silage, and said he'd keep working on that until I told him to come in.
I gave up trying to sleep and started to pull out the birth supplies, and do some general last minute tidying of the house and my bedroom. I texted Beth at 5:25 and said "I think it'd be good if you headed this way." I took a shower, decided what I was going to wear in labor, and was disappointed that during my long, hot shower there were no contractions.  I convinced myself that I had jumped the gun again and that baby would be days away.

I laid down again, half in discouragement and half in tiredness and had a couple more contractions that were longer and harder than before. I had to really breathe through them and was very glad I had Beth on her way to me.  I wondered if perhaps I should have texted her sooner because they were getting stronger.

Dennis came inside at about 6:20 and Beth got here about 6:45, 81 minutes after my text.  (Turns out that when she says she's ready to hop in the car, she really means it.)  I was working through the contractions, though they were still spaced several minutes apart.  Christine (student midwife) and then Janelle, Beth's assistant, arrived and they set about doing their "thing" which I found fascinating, really.
I became more of an observer, impressed by their teamwork and efficiency and the busy-ness of preparing for birth. It hit me that they were here to help me birth MY baby at MY house. Even though this was my 11th delivery, it was my first birth at home.  It was familiar and new all at the same time.
Things became much more intense and I moved from bedroom to bathroom.  I remember saying, "I don't want to birth the baby in the bathroom; I'm in here because it feels good to lean on the sink" (being higher than the bed, and sturdier, it allowed me to sway through the contractions.)

Before much longer I was back in my room and leaning into the window sill next to my bed;  Dennis came in and I clasped my hands around the back of his neck as I could feel the baby making his or her way down.  Beth had stepped into the next room to get gloves on (I learned later). I heard her say, "Is she pushing?" Dennis said, "Yes."  I tried to answer, but couldn't.  I stood in front of Dennis, leaning into his chest; my water broke, her head came down, I said, "the.....head...." and Beth was there behind me, flipped up my skirt, and caught the baby. 

When I climbed up on to my bed, she handed her to me, helping with the cord since we were still attached.
I could NOT believe she was a GIRL.  I had been so certain that I was carrying a boy--and I don't know why I thought that--but I probably said four times, "I canNOT believe it's a GIRL!"

Cecelia Corinne
4 hours old
wrapped in a blue blanket because she had pooped on the pink ones

I put her skin to skin with me and I covered her with blankets.
Her cord was allowed to finish pulsing, which is so important for babies.

During the newborn exam, Beth noticed that baby had a tongue tie.  Not gonna lie, I was disappointed to learn this.  I knew it could really create a struggle for nursing.  She nursed well right away, but I didn't know what the future would hold. 

She was a little unsettled compared to my other new babies, which made for a long night.  She and I got precious little sleep and she cried a lot.  I nursed her for hours and hours.

So that was Friday night into Saturday.  My younger kids were with my parents and they brought them to meet the baby later Saturday afternoon.

Ivy was the first one in the house,
having run from Grandma's car,
up the stairs and in to the living room,
saying, "Can I hold the new baby?!?!"

Abram was delighted with the new baby.
See his face?  He was so excited to see her!

Andrew loves babies.

The kids have always been so welcoming to the new babies.

Abram loved touching her very soft hair.
He would push the other kids' hands away so that
he could touch her by himself.

A happy big brother!

I decided to keep some kids here at home Saturday night and send Elijah, Ruby, Ivy and Elizabeth home again with my parents.  Then the real fun began as one by one my kids fell to the stomach flu.   If there's a worse time for a family to get the stomach flu than immediate postpartum, I can't think of one.

Nine out of thirteen got sick but it was very short-lived and everyone was better within four days total.
I was one of those who was spared, thankfully!

Saturday and Sunday, there were times I cried.  It was very overwhelming and helpless-feeling.  Dennis was hauling beets and so was completely gone for 14 hours a day and then working here or catching a little sleep.  He's not very hands-on with the household stuff normally, but just having him around to peek in on me and listen to me has been the way it has gone with the other kids.
He called in the day Cecelia was born to say he wasn't coming for that shift, so he was able to be here with me after she was born.  They were broke down at the field so it worked out well for us that he could stay home rather than rush right out after the birth.
He did go haul on Saturday and for the rest of the 2 week season.

Through a series of phone calls on Monday, I was able to get in to a clinic on Tuesday morning to have her tongue tie clipped.

(This picture actually shows her tie fairly well.
Notice her tongue at her lower lip?  That was as far as she could move it.
For effective nursing, babies need to be able to move their tongue.)

It felt weird being out with a 3 1/2 day old baby but it needed to be done.  Nursing a tongue-tied baby is PAINFUL.  Like, white-hot pain.  I cried some more.  Once it was clipped that morning, it was noticeably better; still some pain but I think it was collateral damage from three days of hellish nursing. With the addition of some cranial sachral chiropractic work, we've got it all worked out now.

The birth was wonderful and very special to me; I'm bummed that we got sick afterward because it has meant no rest for me but that couldn't be helped.  

My only regret for homebirth is that I didn't begin birthing babies at home many babies ago.  I don't have too many opportunities left to work with Beth before I age out of the system, haha.

Birth can be very empowering
and it is so very important to listen to, trust, and respect a woman during childbirth.
I have lived through a traumatic birth experience where I was ignored and disrespected among other things.
It was one of the most damaging experiences of my life.
I wish all women, regardless of where they birth, could experience what I did with Cecelia's birth.
Birth is very precious to me and having people I trust attend me during that time was very healing.
The midwifery model of care trusts that birth is a normal life event--not a catastrophe waiting to happen--
that a woman's body is capable of birth and that women and their spouses are responsible for their decisions during pregnancy and childbirth.
Normal, physiological birth was allowed to proceed without interference or intervention
and that is what was so empowering for me.

The only things I would change if I could would be the stomach flu and the tongue-tie! haha!
I felt very safe at home; I felt cared for and like a respected part of the birth process, not just a person out of whom a baby must come.
It was very natural for both Dennis and me to labor, birth,
and meet our new baby here in our home.

Some pictures of Cece's first days...

She's Here!

Cecelia Corinne arrived at 7:32 pm last night at home like we planned. 

She weighed 8 lbs 12 oz and was 20 3/4 inches long. 

Her story later!!.

More Weekend Reading

Since birth is what's on my mind,

these links are all on that subject.

1.  36 Obvious Reasons You Are Capable of Natural Birth

2.  "I Would Never Have a Homebirth Because..."

3.  Women Speak Out About What's Gone Wrong with the United States Birthing System

4.  Lying-in:  Rest, Recovery, and Bonding

Some Weekend Reading

1.  One of the funniest things I've ever read. 

Worst End of Summer Mom Ever:  A Sequel

2. It's time to arm yourself with information, Mamas. 

What to Reject When You're Expecting

3.  A series of posts that talk about commonly held myths or lies in obstetrics.

OB Lies

4.  We expect too much out of post-partum mothers.  "{Our} country is one of the only utterly lacking in a culture of postpartum care." 

Why are America's Post-Partum Practices So Rough On New Mothers?

5.  A new blog I've recently discovered.  Excellent post.  

You Have Too Many Children to Give Them What They Need

37 Weeks

Thirty-seven weeks.
Hm.

That point in pregnancy when people usually respond with some variation of "So, wow--the baby could really come any time!"

I've heard that before.
I think it makes the next several weeks seem awfully long.  Because I know from experience that I could be pregnant for quite awhile yet!
On the other hand, it's good to be ready just in case baby does come early-ish.

So, I've washed up a little bit of pink and a little bit of blue and the handful of gender-neutral little bitty things that I've accumulated over the years of having babies.


Even though this is my tenth baby, there are still a lot of "new" things for me.

For one, planning to have the baby at home.  All the other children have been born in a hospital; eight under obstetrical care in our local hospital and #9 was with a midwife in a different hospital.  It's new to me to know that I won't have to stress about when to make the decision of when to leave for the hospital.  Everyone scares you with their stories of women having babies in the car, and how you'd better run to the hospital at the first twinge because after one or two babies, you know, they just practically fall right out.  Except they don't.
So, what I'm getting at is that I think it will take some of the pressure off of me knowing that I only need to call the midwife and she comes to me and all I'll need to do is keep laboring until the baby is in my arms.

Another "new" is a new midwife.  I had to search around a bit for recommendations because there are no midwives near where we live.  This woman is located about an hour and fifteen minutes away from me.  I'm very pleased with our relationship thus far and hopefully I get to continue my care with her for many years.

Also "new" is a different doula.  My wonderful friend Megan assisted at both Ivy's and Elizabeth's births.  What a wonderful help a doula is!!!  I had never had the help of one before and would highly recommend one for any pregnant woman.  Another friend Sarah will be with us this time.  It's new, but exciting.


I have all the birth things ready now and that was a new process for me.  My midwife recommended this site and I ordered what I needed from there.  (I didn't order a "kit" because I already had accumulated several things from the list my midwife gave me, so I just ordered the items I didn't already have.)
Going through the process of having these things on hand at home made me realize that it would have been a good idea to have an Emergency Birth Kit on hand for the other babies.  Especially since we live very rurally and the nearest hospital is 30 minutes away; also, several of the babies have been born during the time of year when weather could have been a travel factor here in MN.  For $12, really, every pregnant woman should have one of these kits.  Maybe those car-birthers wouldn't have been so freaked out if they'd had one! :)  I feel it would take a bit of the scariness out of an unassisted birth knowing you had the right tools at hand.

Another "new" is making the decisions for me and the baby based off of things that I've learned, as opposed to just "letting" the clinic/hospital staff tell me it needs to be done.  I may post about some of them in the future, I'm not sure yet, but for brevity here those decisions include the Gestational Diabetes screen, ultrasound, Group B strep culture, Vitamin K for baby, erythromycin in baby's eyes, cord clamping, etc.

One last "new" thing I'll mention:  Dennis looked at me last week and asked, "Are you sure you're gonna make it another month??"  To which I responded, "Thank you for noticing!!!"  It's the first time that he's ever commented on my pregnant-size so it struck me funny.
Some women may have felt offended, but not me--I've felt so big for so long, bigger than with the other children, that I keep wondering the same thing!

That's all the "new" news I have for now...it won't be too much longer and I can show you pictures of a little someone new!

The News from Here

Do you know how many posts I have saved in my drafts folder that I just haven't been able to finish?
Do you know how many things I have filed under "blog post ideas" on my computer?
Probably not--'cause that would be creepy if you did.

But say you did, you'd know that I have a lot of things I'd like to talk about, and not a lot of time to organize my thoughts and publish them into a post.

So, there are spaces between posts.
I haven't spoken much about this pregnancy.
I haven't talked much about the other kids.
Or the farm.
Or anything, really.

We'll see if I can remedy that.

Let's see.
Pregnancy:  I am 25 weeks along (or so. :) )  Baby moves around a LOT, which is always one of my favorite   aspects of pregnancy.
We no longer do ultrasounds and like the previous two babies, we didn't and won't find out the gender of this baby until we meet him or her face to face.
Boys to girls ratio at this point is 5:4.  The boys are rooting for a boy because a)boys are cool and b) boys want to "win".  {More boys than girls would mean that the boys would be "winning".  Such is the way that six-to-ten-year old boy brains work. :) }
The girls are undecided...some days they say they would like to have a new baby sister and some days they say that it would be fun to have another baby boy.
I tell them that the great thing is, the baby is what it is already and that no amount of our guessing will change who is in there!
My belly is growing quite a bit and the younger children are really noticing, triggering remembrance of when LittleBit was in there last winter.  Some have been able to feel the baby wiggle (I use the word "wiggle" instead of "kick" because one of our toddlers years ago used to resort to kicking from time to time--that kicking was naughty and I was pregnant at the time; it seemed contradictory that the baby could kick and it was cute but if the toddler kicked it was a punishable offense.  I just kept using the word wiggle for subsequent babies.)
I've been to see my midwife twice; we go back the end of February at which time I'll only have 8 weeks left until my due date. I'm excited to approach the birth of this baby in a different way as we prepare for birthing him or her here at home.  I'm a meticulous planner and Dennis is not.  I drive him NUTS if I plan too much so I'm learning to back off and not plan too far ahead out loud.
In my head, I'm planning and wondering and thinking and going over what I've read and learned in 17 years of pregnancy and childbirth.
I have had zero morning sickness which is new.  With all the other children, I have felt crummy and queasy for the first weeks and months.  I've never been violently ill, nor have I have thrown up--just felt extremely tired and nauseated.  That never happened this time and I attribute that to avoiding gluten and conquering a sugar addiction/candida problem.  I do still try to take a nap each day, but unlike the other nine times when I was drop dead tired and could not function without an hour nap, a 20 minute refresher is now sufficient for me (even with the added stress of Elizabeth being a horrible sleeper herself at night!)
In general, I feel so much better this time around, though I will admit that being pregnant at 34 is different than my early 20's. :-)  It will be interesting to me to see how the third trimester progresses; with Elizabeth, I had some swelling near the end, rendering me unable to wear shoes for several weeks.  I wore slippers instead (it was winter).  I'm predicting that since straightening out my thyroid issues by dealing with a gluten intolerance, I will feel better at full term than I have other times.  We'll see!

I'm thankful on these cold, cold days that I don't have any work to do outside like the men do here.  Dairy farmers have no choice--cows need to be milked every day and all the animals cared for especially so when the temperatures are severe, whether extreme heat or cold.  So even when I'm disgusted that the windows are all frozen shut making it impossible for me to air out rooms, or when we have to kick the front door to shake lose the ice in the jamb in order to open it--yes, even then, I'm thankful I don't have to leave home to go to a job.

Next up--an update on the kids (when I get around to it)!

The Day Before LittleBit

If you've read my blog for awhile, you might know I have a thing for "the day before" an event.
It's not the anticipation, though--it's not knowing it was going to be the day before something big or life changing.

And if you know that about me, you probably also know that I was past my "due date" with Elizabeth one year ago.  (You can read about that if you click here or over on the right hand side the link that says "Number 9".  You'll need to scroll down a bit, but it's only a few posts down.)

LittleBit's birthday is tomorrow so today marks her Day Before.

I wrote down some of the texts I sent Dennis in the days leading up to her birth.
Dec. 7     Me:  Why won't this baby be born?
               Him:  It will
               Me:  That was a good answer.

and a bit later that morning    
             I just wanna shut myself in my room and not come out all day.
(I didn't do it, though, just so you know.)

Dec. 8     Clothespins on my pinky toes don't even hurt.
(I had done some research on google about pressure points for labor; clamping clothespins on your pinky toes was one suggestion.  If I tried it now, it would hurt like the dickens; days away from delivery it felt kind of good actually.)

Dec. 10    Thanks for letting me sleep.
(That message was written at 9:21 am; the latest I have slept since I was 15.)

and later that evening
                I would like the option to stay home from church tomorrow, depending on how I feel.

Dec. 11    I'm not going to church but I have kids all ready.  Baby feels so low down.  I'm just not up to facing all the people.

Dennis and the kids went to church and I was home ALL ALONE and loving it.  I can count on one hand the times that I have been all alone in my own house--and I wouldn't use all my fingers.
Moments after they arrived at church, he sent me this:

                You just wanted ME to have all the questions, didn't you!
To which I replied
                You caught me

I chomp ice incessantly in the last months of pregnancy.  I had asked Dennis to bring me some from town on their way home from church.
Worried that he'd forget, I texted him this, hoping I'd catch him in time in case he had indeed forgotten.
     
                Did you get ice?
His reply
                Did you have a baby?

Both questions had the same answer.


I had spent those precious two hours alone listening to a sermon on the radio and trying to catch up on some Christmas gifts I was making.  I couldn't sit long at the sewing machine, though, as my feet and legs kept swelling and going numb.
I made dinner for them all once they returned and spent the rest of the day trying to keep working on those gifts.  I think I took a nap later on, and then all the regular work of laundry, supper, bath time and putting kids to bed.
I experienced a lot of insomnia the last several weeks, and to tell the truth, I sort of looked forward to being awake in the dark and quiet while everyone else was asleep.  They were the most peaceful hours of my "days".  I sat with the Christmas tree lit, read a ton of stuff online, read books, had snacks all to myself...not sleeping had it's benefits.

Because she wasn't born until the evening of the next day, her birth day is almost like a Day Before in and of itself.
That morning, as was our agreement with my midwife, since I hadn't had the baby by Monday morning that I was to call her and talk it over, I dutifully called...but I waited until afternoon.  I'm spunky and defiant that way.
She asked us to be there by 3:00 and we were pretty close to that time.  You can read that story here.

So there you have it--Elizabeth's Day(s) Before.

And tomorrow, I hope to post some pictures of my birthday girl who will be 12 months old on 12-12-12!!

Eating a Not-so-tasty Helping of Crow

During the last days of my pregnancy with Elizabeth, I was pretty outspoken with all my non-interventionist birth "theology".

• Babies come on their own if left alone.
• Too much fear is propagated when a mother is "overdue".
• Breaking water is a risky intervention.
• Cutting the cord too soon causes problems for baby by forcing them to breathe on their own immediately rather than transitioning more slowly.
• Having cut the cord too soon, babies often need oxygen because they turn blue because they weren't ready to breathe on their own.  Pure oxygen, however, basically fries their brand-new lungs, often causing respiratory issues that affect them for years to come.
• Babies transition best when right next to mom, the one-and-only they've ever known.
• I don't need a doctor to tell me how to have a healthy pregnancy.

In this post, and perhaps in others, I somewhat vilified obstetricians and made it sound like having a midwife will assure you of having a great delivery.

Guess what?
I was wrong.

And now, I must eat some crow.

If I heard it once, I bet I heard it fifteen times when having Elizabeth:  "It's hospital policy."


Even though I had a midwife, hospital policy seemed to over-ride everything.
Even though I had a midwife, there was intense pressure to deliver once I reached 40 weeks.
Even though I had a midwife, I had a drug-free induction by sweeping the membranes.
Even though I had a midwife, an amniotomy was done to help Elizabeth come sooner.
Even though I had a midwife, she did a few routine things that are typically associated with an obstetrician, like cutting the cord immediately.  To be fair, that maybe had something to do with the hostile nurses that were there.  I don't know.  Also, applying traction on the cord while waiting for the placenta to be delivered is something that surprised (shocked?) both me and my doula Megan.
Even though I delivered with a midwife, my baby was kept away from me and given oxygen to help her breathe after her cord was, in my opinion, cut too soon.

When this all became clear to me, I likened it to my feelings about home education.  One might think that because I don't use the public school for our children's educations, that I don't like teachers.  Far be it!  There are many caring, committed, concerned and even Christian men and women who are public school teachers.  I don't have anything "against" them--it's the system I have a problem with.

As far as the midwife vs. obstetrician goes, I know that there are many ob's who would gladly listen to the wishes of the parents and would be happy to help babies be born with no "routine" intervention.
However, because of hospital policy, aka "the system", they know they must be more concerned with CYA* medical practices.
*CYA=Cover Your uhhhh, rear end


It becomes so much more about the liability and litigation.
It's disgusting.

And so, I apologize.
I'm sorry if I made it sound like midwives are the best and obstetricians are the worst.

Even though there are many ob's who believe pregnancy, labor and birth are just catastrophes waiting to happen, I believe that there are many ob's who are even less-interventionist than some midwives (referred to with tongue-in-cheek as "med-wives").

In the end, what it really comes down to is finding a care provider that you trust.
And I have--I've trusted the doctors that I've gone to with my first 8 pregnancies.
I trusted my midwife.

The hospital?
Notsomuch.

It leaves women with very few options.
That is so disappointing to me because if you're only choice is to deliver in a hospital, hospital policy will determine much of what happens unless you have done some extensive homework and are prepared to "sign-off" on what you don't want done to you or your child.

Many things are presented as "law" or "required" that just plain aren't--are not law and are not required.  Strongly recommended, perhaps, but not required.

Regarding Elizabeth's birth specifically, it's not so much about me not getting what I wanted, but about getting so much of what I didn't want.

All of that wasn't because I had a midwife and not an ob--it was very much about where the baby was born.  Hospital policy...


I don't know if this makes any sense to any of you, but I just needed to get that off my chest.
edited to add:
Ironically, I came across this post tonight.

Preparing for a Natural Hospital Birth 

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

Let's Talk, Shall We?

I took off the little baby ticker that was on my sidebar.

It was a little creepy that the baby disappears after 40 weeks.

('Cause that doesn't really happen in real life, you know.)

Also, it was causing a lot of people to freak out that I haven't delivered this baby yet.

Let me let you in on a little secret:

I had two due dates.

One was based on my last cycle date,

the other on conception date.

(At this point you may well want to stick an index finger in each ear

and sing la, la, la, la-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.

I'll wait until you're ready.)

Since the time between Elijah and Ruby,

the length between my cycles has increased from 28.5 days

to more like 38 days.

It was like that between Elijah and Ruby,

Ruby and Ivy,

and between Ivy and this baby.

BUT,

the medical community will only use the date of the last menstrual period.

Believe me, 

I've tried to tell them that my due dates should be later.

To that, my ob said,

"Welllll, it'd just be easier to use the lmp date..., so we'll just write that one down, ok?"

All through this pregnancy

I have told myself and many, many others

that I would not be surprised to go into December.

So, why did I even use the November date?

I guess the easiest way for me to explain it is this:

You know how some people leave a clock or watch set five minutes ahead?

To sort of trick themselves into leaving early,

even though they know the clock is ahead?

Yeah, it was kind of like that.
(That, and the fact that it's kind of a long story to relay in passing
at the grocery store or while shaking hands at church.)

Even though I had longer cycles with Ruby and Ivy,

I stayed with their doctor-given due dates.

Ruby was a week early,

Ivy a week late.

You may not remember (or even care)

that I did not do "routine" ob visits with this pregnancy.

It wasn't until 30 weeks or so that I met my midwife.

She and I are using a due date of December 6th, based off the d.o.c.--

still over due, but not by as much.

Does that make you feel better?

It does me.

(Ok, ok, most of the time it makes me feel better--unless you count the few times I have sat in my room and sobbed because this baby is not born YET!!  Dennis has had a front row seat to this and I think it only serves to increase men's assessment that women are indeed a complicated creature.)

You can look it up anywhere--

normal gestation is anywhere from 37-42 weeks.

Roughly 10 % of babies are born at 42 weeks.

I promise I am being vigilant about monitoring baby's movements and

I am in contact with my midwife.

Please don't think me reckless for going "so long"--

it's funny to me (not funny ha ha but funny hmmmmm)

that all the interventions are considered "safe"
but going a few days over my due date is somehow endangering my child's life.

Trust me--
no one wants to greet this newest baby more than me.
Ok, well, Ruby, Linnea, Christopher and Elijah would be right up there,
but my point is this:
if it gets to the point where I am no longer comfortable with being overdue,
I will consider the options available to help things along.

For now,
I'm spending a lot of time sewing, crocheting,
trying to breathe, putting my feet up,
and wondering if we'll be washing up the blue clothes or the pink.

There now--I'm glad that's off my chest.

The OB and the Midwife

Anonymous left a comment saying: Perhaps its none of my business, but you are WAY overdue and being it is your 9th child, I would be very concerned. Are you in constant contact with your physician??????????????

I appreciate your concern, Anonymous.

I really do.

Your comment is part of what prompted me to write my post yesterday. 

Today, I got to thinking about the words

"constant contact" with my physician....

To back up a bit,

I recently ended up needing to call our family doctor (who is also the OB I had) with a question I had about one of the children.

I don't know how it is at other clinics,

but at ours, you can't call and speak to the doctor.

(This doesn't surprise me; it's probably like that at many clinics.)

It used to be you could call and speak to the nurse who would in turn speak to the doctor and then call you back.

Now they've changed it so you can only call the appointment desk and request a call back from the nurse, leaving a brief explanation with the receptionist.

I waited for two and a half hours for a call back, and the nurse wasn't even his regular nurse.

I don't know her and she didn't know me.

I then had to ask her my question, 

which she then asked of the doctor,

and then the nurse called me back another hour later.

There is no such thing as constant contact with a physician.

In contrast,

my midwife (who works at a different clinic) called me at home last week to tell me her husband was going to be out of town for four days, and if I did go into labor, could I please call her cell  phone (she'd given me the number two weeks before) to let her know we'd be heading in so she would  have enough time to get someone to watch her kids.

At each of my appointments, 

she has stressed the freedom to just call her (directly!) with any questions or concerns.

What a difference.

And that, friends,

is yet another reason why I've become a believer in the midwifery model of care.

The Baby Chronicles--Change

I'm  almost 36 weeks--roughly four weeks left to go.
I am amazed each and every time how 9 months can pass so slowly and yet whiz by at the same time.

With the other babies, I did just as I was told and went to the dr. fairly soon
and followed up at four week-, then two week-, and finally went to weekly appointments.

I was beginning to view this as unnecessary for me during Ivy's pregnancy,
and became even more convinced that that wasn't the route I needed to take
the more I researched the differences between the obstetrical model of care and the midwifery model of care.
What I really, really, really, really wanted was to have Ivy at home but that didn't happen.
I really, really, really, really had my heart set on a homebirth this time, but that isn't going to happen, either, for the same reason.

I know enough about pregnancy and birth to realize I don't need all the appointments, tests, and procedures that medical world tries to tell me I need.
I also know enough to be able to make trustworthy decisions that work for us without being reckless or negligent.

And so, we made a change.
I went to an appointment with my ob at about 18 weeks at the clinic/hospital where I've delivered all eight of the children because I needed to have a form signed for our insurance to verify the pregnancy.
I told him I'd call to make the next appointment sometime down the road.

For several weeks, I did "nothing".
At this point, I was holding the homebirth option in my back pocket, so to speak.
When I realized that a homebirth was not an option,
I knew I needed to find a middle ground of sorts.
I knew that I'd have to birth in a hospital,
but I wanted it to be alongside the care of midwife;
this would require me to face one of my biggest challenges: change.
 I'm treading new ground for me:
a new caregiver, a new clinic, and a new hospital in a new town.

My friend Megan will be coming with as my doula like she did with Ivy.
Dennis will be there, too, of course
so it won't be entirely different!

It's all becoming very real as the date draws closer.
I know when I turn the calendar page to November,
then it will really hit me that this baby will be here soon!