Sometimes Things Get In the Way

My posts have been few and far between, haven't they...

many is the time I have sat down at the computer to put together

a post and then been called away because of a spill or a tumble

or some other pressing need.

More often, though, I sit to write and I can't seem to 

piece my thoughts together well enough to hit publish.

There's this big thing in the way

and I just can't seem to write around it.

This thing has been a big part of my life 

and so much hearkens back to it

or is currently affected by it...

I can't discuss it publicly and so it ends up

that I don't discuss much of anything publicly.

I've got some pictures that I plan to post--

because I've got great subject material--

I just have to get them all uploaded so I can retrieve them here.

I took some pictures at the county fair this year,

the kids have all been to camp,

VBS was great,

and summer here in MN has been just lovely.

I really do hope to be able to work around this thing 

that's in my way.

I hope you stick around for when I do.

Operation Encouragement

My friend Gretchen has a great idea.

She usually does.

Click on over and sign up to have her send you a real live paper letter to encourage you.

I did!

Operation Encouragement

ReCap

You may have noticed some time lapsed between this post and this one.

What was I doing?

I'll tell you.

A couple days before the boys' first football game,

my little people started coughing.

And coughing.

And coughing.

And coughing.

And coughing some more.

They all stayed home from the game with Linnea

but I really thought most were on the upswing...

sleeping better, maybe coughing less, etc.

Except when I got back from the game,

I could tell Abram was not feeling better--

he was worse.

I decided to take him to be seen

and since the facility where I decided to go has no urgent care,

we went to the ER.

He was admitted to the hospital.

Nathaniel was a "respiratory kid" and so was Andrew.

Elijah had a few bouts with this kind of thing when he was a baby/toddler, too,

so I knew enough to pack a bag with a change of clothes for me

even though I hoped we could just do a nebulizer treatment and be on our way.

It was a good thing I packed a bag,

and a book,

and my crochet bag

 because we were there from Saturday afternoon through Monday night.

If you've ever had a child hospitalized,

you know that sleep is hard to come by--

for both the child and the parent.

It seems as if every time one of you has just nodded off,

an alarm beeps, a monitor dings, it's time for vitals, etc.

And if you're a light sleeper like me,

even the most careful nurse who sneaks in to the room to do her check on the child

is enough to wake you.

I was tired, Abram was tired.

He was so upset at being confined.

He hated the oxygen tubing and constantly pulled at it.

He ripped his iv apart and had to have a splint-type thing put on his other arm 

(a "no-no board" they called it)

so that he couldn't bend either arm.

The meds made him hyper,

he wanted to walk around but couldn't because all of his

wires and leads would trip him up,

not to mention the small space of a hospital room

filled with a bed, a recliner, a humongo crib, iv pole, vitals monitor, etc., etc.

Linnea did a SUPER job holding down the fort in my absence;

I was so glad she was here while I was there!

Abram and I had to miss my family's annual hayride at my parents' house

and Dennis did, too, because hay was ready to be cut.

Bummer.

The younger kids were able to go and to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure how they got there!

Dennis handled it with my brother, I think. ;)

With all that sitting (for me), and basically no way to get my circulation going,

my legs swelled so, so much.

As in, I've never been that swollen in my life.

My legs were so very painful

and I was getting extremely anxious to leave the hospital.

The nurses, upon learning that I was 38 weeks along, would joke

how funny it would be if I had the baby since OB was just a couple doors down.

I didn't say much, I'd just laugh a bit,

but in my mind I was like, "No really--you don't understand..."

I was hoping and praying for Abram to get well enough for us to leave very soon

and for the new baby to please WAIT until I was home before deciding to arrive!

It took several days for the pain in my legs to subside.

With the help of a generous friend who supplied me with some oils for my issue 

as well as for the children's ongoing respiratory issue,

we were now on the mend.

Then it was Bipper's birthday.

And the next day there was no other option but to head to the grocery store for a few things,

which ended up being really taxing on my sore leg.

Then another football game.

Then church and a day of horseback riding for Linnea and a couple friends.

Monday was an appointment with my wonderful midwife.

That afternoon my other washing machine died too, leaving me  

days/weeks away from the arrival of my 11th child, with no working washing machine.

I cried.

However, I believe God whispered in the ear of someone we know

who then called me to say she wanted to buy me a washing machine.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!

Thank you, GOD!

(The new one will be arriving on Monday and is a bit smaller than either of my current non-working ones.

It will most certainly wash clothes well and Linnea and I will just keep that baby workin' all day long!

But if you happen to 

a) know someone who is good a appliance repair who would like to help a family out

or

b) have a functional washer just sitting in your garage for which you'd like to find a home 

let me know!

I believe the one washer is toast....not repairable or at the least, more expensive to repair than it would be to replace all the parts.

The other one I believe can be fixed; just waiting until after harvest to see if we can get that done.)

We met the person in town to get the details of delivery worked out

and now I excitedly wait until Monday for it to arrive!

I drove to my mom & dad's Thursday to wash several loads;

the kids didn't stop wearing clothes simply because

I had no working washer.

I did as much as I could before it was time to head to 

Andrew's football game.

Yesterday afternoon, Linnea and I went to the store for

enough-groceries-to-last-until-the-baby-comes-and-hopefully-beyond.

Honestly, meals are the hardest thing for me to wrap my brain around

when a new baby arrives.

Linnea has taken over much of the cooking

and can also do the shopping if the older boys will drive to town

so here's hoping this time will be a bit easier in that department!

So now I'm up in the middle of the night

(because it's common for me at nearly 39 weeks to 

pretty much no longer sleep)

and am trying to catch up on my some blog posts.

Bipper has a football game later this morning

and then we'll have supper with the grandparents to celebrate Linnea's 14th birthday.

Her birthday is on Sunday but with church,

a 4-H meeting, a provided golf date with her daddy-o,

and a youth group function that evening,

we're fitting it in when we can.

Of course,

any conversation or plan we make is followed by

"unless the baby comes."

Back to Basics

When I started this blog a few years ago, I used it mostly as a way to chronicle the events of regular life. 

Over time, I've sort of veered away from that and I realize I miss it.

I go back and re-read some old posts and I see how much I've forgotten of the silly things the kids have said or done.

So I'm going to try to go "back to the basics" a bit and start chronicling again if that's okay with you...even if it's not okay with you. :)

I'll start with yesterday.

Our family was at the Broen Home for church.

(For non-local friends, Broen is a nursing home that also has assisted living.)

We do the music there on the first Sunday of each month.

We so enjoy being there and the residents love to see all the children.

I sang "Does Jesus Care?" then Dennis and I together sang "Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross" and "What a Day That Will Be."

Linnea had her "solo debut" on the piano, playing "Sweet Hour of Prayer."

She did very well, cool as a cucumber, and made no mistakes!

Even though I had announced at least four times to my crew before we left for someone to please get the diaper bag out of the suburban and in to the van,

three minutes in to the service, I looked around and--you guessed it--no diaper bag.

Mouthing the words "where is the diaper bag?" was met with shrugs from each of my beloved.

You can guess what came next, right?

You're right--Abram pooped.

A doozy.

I began to fervently hope 

"please don't leak...please don't leak..."

Or at least,

"please don't leak to the point where it becomes obvious to everyone that I have been doing this for over 18 years and I still manage to arrive somewhere without an item of essential importance."

After the service, Pastor Ken told us that one of the ladies wanted to buy us dinner in their cafeteria so we stayed for dinner while Dennis, experienced dad that he is, ran to the store quick and came back with the correct size diapers and a package of wipes so Abram could get changed.

(And Dennis even changed him!!)

Mashed potatoes, chicken, green beans and bars were on the menu;

what a gift it was to have our family fed!

We filled two tables but the kids ate well and no one even spilled.

It was a divine miracle, I tell you.

We got home, I took a short nap, and then Linnea and I went to get some groceries.

We got our shopping done in good time while Andrew and Nathaniel watched little folks at home.

We rushed back home, I fed the baby while kids brought in the grocery bags and the pizza was put in for supper.  Dennis and I each grabbed a slice on our way out the door to Bible study.

When we got back home after study, the groceries had been put away, kids had been bathed and jammied, the dishwasher was running and they were in the living room watching the Cosby Show on dvd.

And that was pretty much our day.

Except for all the stuff I didn't mention.

Walk Away

Mostly, I tell myself, "Just walk away...close the keyboard and just walk away..."

But sometimes, I'm like this:

And then I get all worked up, which is when I remind myself that next time, I'm going to walk away--just close the keyboard and walk. away.

I'd Love to Have You Over for Coffee, But First You Need to Know

Inspired by this post:

1. I'm a Martha, not a Mary.  We will sit and chat the day away.  I will be worrying about how messy my house is and I will probably clean up while I talk to you and interrupt myself with self-deprecating comments about the mess.

2.  I really don't like it when the house is messy.  And I really don't like it when people see it when it's messy.  I'm having to get over myself a lot because this has happened frequently as of late.  However, I just feel terrible when people see it messy!  For the record, I couldn't care less how you keep your house, I only care how I keep mine.  So don't worry if your house is messy and I see it--it won't make me think you are a poor housekeeper.  I apparently only hold myself to this standard.  I remind myself that we are a lot of people in not a lot of space, but it doesn't always help.   This is also why I do much better with a text/phone call giving me a 10 minute heads-up.  We can pick up a LOT in 10 minutes!

3.  It is not uncommon for visitors to hear, "Moooooom????  Can you come wipe me???"  Once, a little guest even slipped in a li'l puddle from a trip not made soon enough.  Gross?  Yes.  My life?  Yes again.

4.  I like fixing my hair and would prefer to wear makeup on most days.  However, I'm in dire need of a new look and I can't seem to find any makeup that 1) I can afford 2) doesn't make me look like I'm in a theater production.  Thus, you will see me mostly with my hair in a ponytail or braid and no makeup on my face.  I'm hoping that one day I'll be swept away for one of those makeovers you see on tv or in a magazine.  It could happen y'know.

5.  I, like Amy, am a deep conversations person.  Small talk exhausts me.  I ask hard questions and this sometimes alienates me from people.  This is difficult and I beat myself up about it often.  I just wish we could be a bigger part of each others' lives (as long as the feeling is mutual) and spending time talking about the weather and how I remember the names of my children and whether or not my kids have specific chores seems superficial.

6. We let our children play all over the farm, with the exception of on the tractors and in the barn where the cows are milked.  So if your kids want to play, it's probably going to be outside and they might get dirty.  They might also see some sort of dead critter, be it a bird, a raccoon, or a snake that one of my boys or one of my dogs has brought to the yard to show me.  You will see our real life.

7.  We are night owls.  You could not possibly stay too late.  However, I never know if I should go ahead with bedtime preparations while you sit on the couch "unattended" as my company, or if I should just wait until you go and then put kids through the tub.  I'm 34 and I still don't know how to act in many situations.  It's a good thing I married an older man so that one of us can be an adult and know what to do.

8.  Like Amy said, Disrespectful children make me cringe, but most things don’t bother me. Actually, let me rephrase that…Disrespectful children who remain uncorrected by their parents make me cringe. Please go ahead and correct your children if they need it. It won’t bother us and it does not reflect badly on you. However, also realize it takes a lot to rattle me, so no need to stress about your child spilling their cup on the floor or the fussy little one who needs a nap.

9.  Don't be afraid to wear your shoes in our house.  This is a dairy farm with nine children--if the worst thing that ever came in to the house was a little gravel from the driveway you walked in on, I'd count myself one lucky woman.  

10.  I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things.  This becomes clear within a few minutes of talking to  me.  You and I might differ but we can most certainly still be friends!

I Recommend

So many times I come across a blog post and think, "I should write about this post on my blog."
(And sometimes I think, "I think/did/do/believe the same thing--I wish I would have written that!")

So today, I decided to direct you to some posts of interest to me that I think might interest you.  Y'know, if motherhood "interests" you.
I'm toying with the idea of making this a routine practice; a regular "I Recommend" appearance on my little bloggity.  Let me know if you think I should.
Although truth be told, I'll probably do it anyway--just so you know.  Sometimes I'm sassy like that.


1.  Open Mouth, Insert Foot by MamaBirth.   Though of course I don't agree with everything she writes (I can't think of anyone I 100%-agree with except Jesus Christ), she has so many good (and bold!) insights into motherhood.  This post is definitely one of them.

2.  Women With More Than One Child Are Not Actually Crazy   again by MamaBirth.  My favorite line from this post:  "Even though you appear nuts, you love your kids and want MORE. Yes, your hands are full. No you can not afford them. Yes, you sometimes mix up their names. This is not actually an indicator that you have trudged too far down the path of insanity. It is just LIFE. And life can be hard, but children are still awesome. You see the beautiful moments, where everybody gets along and where there is just a touch of the divine in your home."

3.  Anatomy of a Mother by Gypsy Mama.  Lisa-Jo has amazing insight into this mothering gig.

4. How to Pray Without Using Words {Motherhood Edition} also by Gypsy Mama  This post hit close to my heart.  Especially when she says, "This is when I am most your mother."  Yep.  Exactly.

What I'm Saying, and What I'm Not (aka My Standard Disclaimer)

It has become glaringly obvious that some of the people who read and comment on my blog don’t share my worldview. This is fine; I welcome their comments and curiosity, but it does contribute to some misunderstandings. I’d like to help rectify that by stating some facts that are, in my mind, unspoken assumptions underlying all my posts.

Because we believe that God has asked certain things of us, I will continue to tell you about them--even if those things are counter-cultural and make you upset with me--for God has said, "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."  Matthew 10:27

Depending on who you are and where you are coming from philosophically, these points may either seem painfully obvious or shockingly [insert insult here: closed minded, old-fashioned, arrogant...].

Dennis and I believe that:
God is sovereign over all of creation. (Psalm 33, Psalm 97)
Our chief end is to glorify God in everything we do. Though we too often fall short, it remains our goal. 1 Corinthians 10:31)
Scripture is infallible and fully sufficient to teach us to serve God. Whatever we need to know about Him and His nature and requirements of us is contained either explicitly or implicitly in the Scriptures. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
There is no neutrality. All people, institutions, and ideas are either for Christ or against Christ. Education is not neutral. Law and government are not neutral. Families cannot be neutral. A blog is not neutral. (Matthew 12:30)
Right and wrong are absolutes, and they do not change because someone feels ok about something. Sometimes there is more than one good (God honoring) option; sometimes there is not. You (or I) may feel convicted to do things a particular way – but we may still be wrong. Thus, we go back to the Scriptures. (2 Peter 1:20-21)

When I state what we believe or how we do things in our house or family---

We ARE NOT saying that anyone who does differently is in sin and/or going to hell. You might be in sin, and I might be so bold as to state my opinion to that effect. But don’t worry--nobody ever went to hell for disagreeing with me. You must answer to God and His Word. 

We ARE NOT saying that anyone who reads the Scriptures and comes to a different conclusion or conviction based on the Scriptures is wrong and we're right. Again, you might be wrong and I might be right. I’ll probably think so. But your job is to make sure you are acting in accordance with Scripture, not with me. 

We ARE NOT saying that my generalizations cover every case imaginable. Yes, you can always think of exceptions, but it is poor logic to argue the rule from the exception.

We ARE NOT saying that we are perfect and have all the answers. God has called us to judge righteous judgements, so it is our duty to try to come to the right answers. I know that some of my answers will be wrong, but my own fallibility should not stop me from seeking to know and serve God better. 

To sum it up: Some of what I write will deal with principles, while other material will deal with methods. 

Principles are issues where there is a Biblical teaching at work: you (and I) are either right or wrong on this one. Obviously, I’ll try to stay on the right side. You might come to a different conclusion, but one of us is right and one of us is wrong. 

We draw our applications from convictions: convictions derived from Scripture. Part of what this blog is about is the idea that someone somewhere might be interested in or appreciate what we are doing or be helped by understanding why we do it.

This is why I try to be sure I am reasoning from Scripture – but I don’t feel as though I have the last word on Scripture. God grants us broad liberty in Christ, and Jesus’s blood covers lots of mistakes.

I have also changed my comment process, since there were some who couldn't play nice.  I will no longer allow anonymous comments.  As I tell my kids, if you feel that strongly about something, you'd better at least be willing to sign your name to it.

Thanks!

Let's Play Nice

I'm not sure how many of you have been following the conversation in the comment section of my post on letting God determine the size of one's family, but it's been quite a long one!  Yes, a long one but a good one in my opinion.

From here on out though I would ask for this change:
I will still allow anonymous comments, but would appreciate if you would sign your first name.  (I wouldn't know if you made it up either, would I?)

Thanks!

I'm Working On It

I have some things that I'd like to say in a few different posts but I'm having a hard time gathering my thoughts and typing them out.

Honestly, I think I'm experiencing some opposition from the enemy because what I want to say concerns life.  Life--you know, what Satan hates.

I've been wanting to write about it for months now, but never seem to have two hands with which to type or any time to myself to write it out uninterrupted.

Hopefully soon.

Just didn't want you to think I'd gone away...

I'm Blessed: By Mommy Friends

It's been some time since I joined in on Gretchen's 

I'm Blessed blog par-tay.

Today, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have the friends that I do.

Friends of ours from Wisconsin came to visit us on Saturday.

While I sat visiting with my friend Laurie,

I became acutely aware of how many of my sentences began with "my friend Gretchen"

or "my friend Theresa" or "my friend Megan" or "my friend Monica" (who has no blog!!)

and how much they have influenced my life.

 In all my yammering away to Laurie, I referenced several times my homeschool mom's meeting that I had just attended a couple evenings before.

I am so blessed by the ladies who serve on the board with me and by the ladies that come to our meetings--

I left the meeting last time so refreshed, thinking where else can I sit and laugh (or cry) about stuff like this--all while nursing a baby?

We talk about our struggles and successes with homeschooling and being a wife and mother.

Knowing that these ladies have a relationship with the Lord makes it that much sweeter.

Of course as busy mommies, we rarely have time to get together,

but my friends who brought meals when Elizabeth was born (and even BEFORE!)

blessed me beyond measure.

One of Satan's tools is to alienate--

he uses this on me often.

On my worst days, I'm convinced I'm all alone.

But I DO have friends--another Megan, Lisa, Diane, Karen, Sally, Denise, Sara, two Angies, Carrie--many more than I could possibly mention or link to here!  (I know I'm  leaving some out--if you're my friend and your name isn't listed here, please know I appreciate you, too!)

My aunts and my cousin are wonderful life-long friends to me.

I love them, and they are an incredible blessing to me.

They have reached out to me, some have prayed for me, and all have encouraged me.

I love that we are not all the same--

some of my friends have 1 or 2 kids, some have more.

Some of my friends work outside the home, some do not.

Some are older than me, some younger, and some my age.

We can be different and still be friends!

(Isn't this what we teach our kids??)

I'm so thankful for friends!

On Writing

I write a lot of posts that you never see.
It's not that they are too private or too bold.
It's not that I write them and then change my mind about publishing them.

It's because I write them when I'm in the shower.
I write them when I drive.
I write them when I'm feeding the baby, when I'm giving the kids a bath, and when I'm falling asleep at night.

They are all grammatically correct, insightful, and oh-so-witty.
The trouble is, they are all written in my head.


And when I come to the computer thinking I'll remember what it was that I had "written"--they're gone.
*sigh*

I'm Doing the Best I Can

Y'know--I'm doing the best I can.
Well, maybe not my very best every day, but I really do try and I work very hard to accomplish all that has been given me to do--and then some.

I cook {a lot}, I wash {a lot of} dishes, clothes, faces, hands, bodies, floors, and diapers.
I make the beds, sweep the floors, and vacuum.
I disciple, discipline, correct, and instruct the children.

And still--it's not enough.

Because if I don't return an email immediately, I'm ignoring emails.
And if I don't answer the phone every time it rings, I'm ignoring people who call.
If I can't come to every (or any) Bible studies, I'm ignoring my responsibilities to the church.
If I'm overcome with it all and lose my patience, I'm a terrible mother.
And if I am out and about, well, shouldn't we really be home doing school???


Sometimes I need to decline an invitation because I don't know how in the world I'll fit it in with all the other things I need to do--and my calendar is basically empty.

I know very, very few people who have a family even remotely similar to mine (I'm certain there are other larger-than-average homeschooling families that live and work on a dairy farm--I just don't know them personally).
This season of motherhood, child-rearing, and child-bearing is just not conducive to a lot of outside-the-home activities, especially if they are recurring over a period of time (ie, a weekly event).  Few people understand this.

And so, I get criticized for staying home "too much", for not "going out" enough, for being a woman who finds fulfillment and peace and contentment staying at home.

I like being an at-home-mom, I like doing housework, I like taking care of my kids and teaching them.

Being a wife, living on a farm with children who have responsibilities outside, being a mother to many and growing another requires a lot of time and energy.

I'm tired.
Tired of trying to please everyone.
Tired of trying to explain to non- or mis-understanding ears why I am unable to do something or need to do it a different way.
Tired of being misrepresented and misunderstood.

I'm doing the best I can.
I really am.

And still, people get offended because of something I said or didn't say, something I did or didn't do, somewhere I went or didn't go.

It's so exhausting to have people hear things that I didn't say or read something here on my blog that I wasn't even saying.

I am a real person who struggles with real things in real life.
I enjoy real things and real people who lead real lives.

I put up with people that refer to my kids as "this one", "the other one", "what's-his-name" and "what-cha-ma-call-him".
I hear the comment when we arrive somewhere (in a big stage whisper) "Look--it's like a parade!" and I try to take it gracefully.

I know I cannot be responsible for how everyone else reacts to me, to my family, or to my blog; I know I have a responsibility to act courteously and respectfully--of this I am fully aware.
However, carrying the weight that belongs to others is just too heavy for me.

I don't have the strength to bear it anymore.
Because I'm tired, and there are other things that need my attention more.

It's Been Awhile

I know--it's been awhile since I wrote about anything on here.
Some of that has been due to technical difficulties:  laptop out of commission for 2 months, archaic equipment, slow internet, etc.
Also, as a mother of many, and it being summer, we've been running hither and yon to swimming lessons, the lake, and busy with general play outside.
Additionally, the county fair is next week and that takes some time to prepare for.

Sometimes I come to the computer thinking "ahhhh, maybe NOW I'll have 15 minutes to write something."  And like moths to a flame, suddenly everyone needs me--big and small.
And there goes that.

Sometimes life is hard...things weigh heavy on my heart. At these times, I don't know what to say--or how to say it.
So I don't.

Today, though, I'm working on a few posts.  Hopefully no one will need me for just a few more minutes and I can get a few done!

I'm {Still} Blessed

I haven't written for awhile, as you may have noticed.
Last week was a hard one, but after what happened last time, I'm not too inclined to talk about it here.

I am, however, going to play along with Gretchen's party this week, too.

I am blessed to live in a nation where it is legal to educate my children at home.

I'm blessed that today we have been invited to a picnic and all I have to bring are the paper products.  A meal I didn't have to make?  Rare, indeed.  And always so yummy.

The icing on the picnic-cake is that Dennis is planning on coming with us; also very rare.  The kids are very excited at the prospect of playing catch with Dad.

I'm blessed to have parents who love and want to spend time with my children.  On Friday night, the six younger children had a "peep-over" (how Ruby says 'sleep-over') at my mom and dad's.  I was able to do some cleaning up in the house and I was able to go from one thing, to the next, to the next, to the next---without interruption.  Another rarity.  When I mentioned this to my mom when I went to pick them up on Saturday evening, she said she happened to notice the exact opposite happened at her house.  Hmmm.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Another blessing is that Nathaniel and Isaiah were able to go to a youth group convention in Colorado this week.  A man from church has helped to pay their way to go, along with some help from grandparents and what the boys raised themselves.  It is quite an opportunity for them.

The weather lately has been perfect for sitting outside.  In the summer, I like to be outside as much as I can.  {And in the winter, I am perfectly content to be inside.  I'm not one who starts complaining about being stir-crazy in the long MN winters.}  So, yesterday after church and dinner, the younger kids and I splashed in the kiddie pool and ran through the sprinkler.  Yes, even I ran.  Okay, okay, I don't know that you could actually classify  my actions as "running", but I started on one side of the sprinkler and quickly made it through to the other side.  Call it what you want.  And even though I took up a disproportionate amount of the space in the little pool, the kids thought it was fun to have Mom in with them.

So, here's to a better week than last week.  Thanks, Gretchen, for hosting this to help me get my mind off myself and onto more important things.

If You're Ready to Read, I'm Ready to Write

To say it's been awhile since I posted would be putting it mildly.

Other ways of explaining my absence could include:

*I pretty much crawled under a rock.

*I've been thinking {and thinking and thinking and thinking}about a few {million}things.

I needed to evaluate the reasons why I blog.

Here is some of what I came up with:

I blog as a way of journaling our life.

Like a "virtual scrapbook" of our normal, crazy, mixed up, fun, hills-and-valleys LIFE.

From time to time, I will even go back and re-read my posts;

I've already forgotten so much of our life!

I laugh.  I'm going to be just fine when I'm old--senility suits me.

I blog to share pictures of the children.

While this began as a way for my extended family to "keep up" with my family,

I've learned that many others (friends, neighbors, and people I don't even know) enjoy the pictures, too.

I blog to share lessons I've learned.

Many times, these are lessons learned the hard way.

Lessons learned being a wife...a mother...

Lessons learned on our journey to and on the home education path.

Lessons learned since becoming a Christian.

I blog to share funny stories.

If you know me in real life, you know I like to make people laugh.

If you don't know me in real life, I hope that some of what I've written has given you a smile or a laugh from time to time.

One of the things I've enjoyed since starting this blog

is the ability to share the funny or crazy things that happen.

I'm not much for talking on the phone, and even if I was,

I wouldn't call up my mom, my aunts and uncles, my siblings,

my friends, my husband, my neighbors,

and tell them ALL

"You'll never guess what happened today..."

This is a way for me to share some of our stories with the people I love

and that know me/us.

My aunt once told me,

"Since I read your blog every day, 

I feel like I get to have a conversation with you every day!"

I love that.

Many times,

stories or pictures from my blog have been great conversation starters--

at church, at grandma's house, in the grocery store.

It has given some common ground for some adults to speak to my kids,

such as in this post {"That was a funny trick you played on your mommy, Christopher!"}

and in this post {"WOW, that must have been so much fun!"}

(The second one I mentioned also brought my dad some fun attention.)

I blog to let you know you are not alone.

We've all done it--we assume everyone ELSE has it all together.

The truth is, no one does. 

As a dear friend reminded me, one of Satan's tools is isolation.

This mortal enemy of our souls wants you and me to feel like we are the only one who has dealt

or is dealing with a particular issue,

and he uses guilt and shame to do so.

I would never, never, NEVER want to give the impression

that because I have sin in my life that it's ok for you to have sin in yours.

I don't write about my/our struggles so that we can all have a good laugh

at my/our sinful behavior.

As in, "Oh, look.  Ha, ha.  She does the same thing!  It must be ok."

However, someone who read

the post that started all of this

said I could just as well have typed their names in instead of the He and Me.

As she read it, she saw that they sometimes end up doing the same thing

and she realized, "Boy, that is stupid!"

Hopefully, now there will be more than one set of married people

who will think twice before

engaging in such a manner of speaking to one another.

Lesson learned?  I hope so.

Of course, I don't share EVerything.

There are things I'd like to talk about, but can't.

There are things I'd like to say, but I won't.

I seriously consider each post before it comes out.

Why?

Because although I don't know everyone who reads my blog,

I do know 

our kids do,

my husband does,

my mom does,

my aunts and uncles,

our siblings and their spouses,

 our nephews,

friends from church,

my homeschooling mom friends,

our pastor,

people in our community.

I've run into people when I'm out and about 

who mention reading my blog and I had NO idea they did.

That is SO FUN for me.

I think about the "audience" very much

and I know it influences what I write and the way I write.

I won't share every blessed detail of our life.

(I don't remember many of them anyway by the time I'd get to a computer.)

But I will always be honest.

So, I've picked myself up off the floor,

dusted myself off,

and am ready to write again.

I need to say a BIG thank you to YOU,

the readers of this lil' ol' bloggity,

for all your kind, kind words.

You lifted me up when I was really down,

you encouraged me to keep going when I didn't know if I could,

and you came alongside me.

Your comments, emails, phone calls,

and facebook messages have meant so much.

Your words changed me.

The "Why" About Homeschooling

I'd like to recommend an excellent post by my friend Gretchen.
Click on over to
The "Why" About Homeschooling.


Then come back and let me know what you think!

I Want You to Know

Since we've shared our news,

I've caught a little flack.

It doesn't surprise me when I do,

but I wish I didn't 

feel like I have to defend myself.

I probably will use this blog

as a way to talk about

some of the things people say to me.

It's a way for me to process...

a way for me to talk about 

how others' words

affect me.

The first one I'd like to address is:

"Whoa--you sure didn't waste any time telling people!"

I used to think

(and this probably came from my grandma)

that you had to wait a magical three months

before announcing a pregnancy.

Is this the "just in case" factor?

Don't tell anyone about your new baby

"just in case" you miscarry?

I have never experienced a miscarriage,

and I hope to God I never do.

But I think that the same people that I would tell about a coming baby

are the same people who would share in mourning the loss of a baby.

I see no reason--for me...for us--to wait to tell people.

I am excited about this new baby.

I want you to know about him/her.

This may sound ridiculous,

but I think it applies.

Is my 13 year old

more of a person

than my 2 year old--

just because he's older?

Uh, no.

So just because this baby inside me

is very young

doesn't mean that he/she is less of a person.

If I run into you in the store,

I will introduce you to all the children who are with me--

that includes the one who resides within me.

Should I not tell you about my 1 year old--

"just in case"?

No--she is a person.

She has an eternal soul.

I want you to know about her.

In the same way,

I want you to know about this new baby.

So, please...

please don't make fun of me for

announcing this new life within me so soon.

I want you to know...

I want you to know about him or her.

Let's Talk

When I posted a link to "Things You Should Never Say", I did so because I thought it was a funny post.
I did not do it to be pointed, I promise!

As I was reading through the comments on her blog, something I rarely, if ever do, I found that many people were kind of offended that she had written such a post.  Hm.  They somehow took it as her saying "shut-up about my family" and didn't think that was very Christ-like.  Which is true--saying "shut-up" is certainly not Christ-like.

But that's not what she was saying.

Her main point was that questions are generally ok--if you are asking me about my family because you are genuinely curious about some choices we have made, I can tell you are asking because you are genuinely curious.

If, however, you are asking me a question because you want to make me feel stupid, I can tell that, too.

Some "questions" are not a question at all.  Take "You DO know what causes that, right?"
That's not a question--that's a mockery and an insult and implies that we are somehow clueless as to how the reproductive system works.

The adoption ones she mentioned really stood out to me as over-the-top.  "Which ones are your "real" kids?" COME ON!!!  Are you KIDDING me???

Would you ever walk up to a woman and say "What size do you wear?" or "How much do you weigh?"
I hope not.

Those questions are intrusive and none of your business.

Why, Why, WHY do people always ask if we're "done" now?!
Dennis' favorite response is to say, "Done doing what?"  (perhaps that's not very Christ-like either, but watching the person stammer is a tad fun.)
To me, and maybe it's just me, but that question is intrusive and no one's business.

But it does give me the opportunity to say, "Well, we don't know how many kids we'll have--we have chosen to let the Lord plan our family.  If He wants us to have more, we would welcome them!"

This usually leads to some sort of Duggar family reference, but, whatever.

I know we attract attention--and not just 'cause we're so good looking. :o)

Walking into to church (late) with my tribe--good grief, we're going to get noticed.  You just can't "sneak in" with little folks, and you can't sneak in with 10 people.

Some blessed folks just smile and nod...some with an understanding of what the days were like when their children were small and always seemed to trip right before they could enter the pew to sit down thereby stopping the whole procession until the child wearing the cowboy boots that are 10 sizes too big for him can pick himself up off the floor and make his way into the pew.

It's the disdainful looks that are hard to bear.  

Mercifully, I haven't seen many of these. 

It comes down to this:  let's not be rude, people.
I KNOW that I have in error said something that I didn't think or know was rude.  I KNOW I have.  And perhaps that person walked away seething at my ignorance.
I would hope, though, that they would recognize my question/comment as coming from a heart that was genuinely curious--and not one that was trying to "put them in their place" or trying to make them feel stupid.

If you'd like to read more about what Courtney had to say, click here:  A little more from yesterday

The WINNERS

Yay for 

Christel

 Salena

and 

Becca!

These three ladies 

were chosen via random.org

as winners of a

dishcloth.

Thanks, everyone,

for entering!

Watch for future posts

in which I answer your questions.

I so enjoyed reading all the comments!