Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I'd Love to Have You Over for Coffee, But First You Need to Know

Inspired by this post:

1. I'm a Martha, not a Mary.  We will sit and chat the day away.  I will be worrying about how messy my house is and I will probably clean up while I talk to you and interrupt myself with self-deprecating comments about the mess.

2.  I really don't like it when the house is messy.  And I really don't like it when people see it when it's messy.  I'm having to get over myself a lot because this has happened frequently as of late.  However, I just feel terrible when people see it messy!  For the record, I couldn't care less how you keep your house, I only care how I keep mine.  So don't worry if your house is messy and I see it--it won't make me think you are a poor housekeeper.  I apparently only hold myself to this standard.  I remind myself that we are a lot of people in not a lot of space, but it doesn't always help.   This is also why I do much better with a text/phone call giving me a 10 minute heads-up.  We can pick up a LOT in 10 minutes!

3.  It is not uncommon for visitors to hear, "Moooooom????  Can you come wipe me???"  Once, a little guest even slipped in a li'l puddle from a trip not made soon enough.  Gross?  Yes.  My life?  Yes again.

4.  I like fixing my hair and would prefer to wear makeup on most days.  However, I'm in dire need of a new look and I can't seem to find any makeup that 1) I can afford 2) doesn't make me look like I'm in a theater production.  Thus, you will see me mostly with my hair in a ponytail or braid and no makeup on my face.  I'm hoping that one day I'll be swept away for one of those makeovers you see on tv or in a magazine.  It could happen y'know.

5.  I, like Amy, am a deep conversations person.  Small talk exhausts me.  I ask hard questions and this sometimes alienates me from people.  This is difficult and I beat myself up about it often.  I just wish we could be a bigger part of each others' lives (as long as the feeling is mutual) and spending time talking about the weather and how I remember the names of my children and whether or not my kids have specific chores seems superficial.

6. We let our children play all over the farm, with the exception of on the tractors and in the barn where the cows are milked.  So if your kids want to play, it's probably going to be outside and they might get dirty.  They might also see some sort of dead critter, be it a bird, a raccoon, or a snake that one of my boys or one of my dogs has brought to the yard to show me.  You will see our real life.

7.  We are night owls.  You could not possibly stay too late.  However, I never know if I should go ahead with bedtime preparations while you sit on the couch "unattended" as my company, or if I should just wait until you go and then put kids through the tub.  I'm 34 and I still don't know how to act in many situations.  It's a good thing I married an older man so that one of us can be an adult and know what to do.

8.  Like Amy said, Disrespectful children make me cringe, but most things don’t bother me. Actually, let me rephrase that…Disrespectful children who remain uncorrected by their parents make me cringe. Please go ahead and correct your children if they need it. It won’t bother us and it does not reflect badly on you. However, also realize it takes a lot to rattle me, so no need to stress about your child spilling their cup on the floor or the fussy little one who needs a nap.

9.  Don't be afraid to wear your shoes in our house.  This is a dairy farm with nine children--if the worst thing that ever came in to the house was a little gravel from the driveway you walked in on, I'd count myself one lucky woman.  

10.  I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things.  This becomes clear within a few minutes of talking to  me.  You and I might differ but we can most certainly still be friends!


  1. You are so funny! I want to come over!!! I don't mind the piddle puddles and you can even go about your chores with me there....we'd blend right in! Small talk makes me nervous, too....that's why I always hit you up with the big stuff ;)

  2. Love it! I feel the same way about much of that...especially small talk!

  3. Love it! I am the same way...always appreciate a little notice so I can shove things away! Hate small talk too...think I freak people out when I start talking about my struggles, my walk with Christ, or want to hear theirs. Thanks for sharing so openly Melissa.


  4. You are so awesome, Melissa! :) We really need to hang out more and have awesome, deep conversations. :)

  5. I can relate to just about all of this. I want to be the type of person that friends feel comfortable just dropping in on....but I also want the house to be perfect when that happens, and so far I haven't figured out how to keep it immaculate 100% of the time....or how to guarantee a person wouldn't drop in to find me sound asleep on the couch with my child, both of us with messy hair and smelling like baby puke.


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