Let's Talk

When I posted a link to "Things You Should Never Say", I did so because I thought it was a funny post.
I did not do it to be pointed, I promise!

As I was reading through the comments on her blog, something I rarely, if ever do, I found that many people were kind of offended that she had written such a post.  Hm.  They somehow took it as her saying "shut-up about my family" and didn't think that was very Christ-like.  Which is true--saying "shut-up" is certainly not Christ-like.

But that's not what she was saying.

Her main point was that questions are generally ok--if you are asking me about my family because you are genuinely curious about some choices we have made, I can tell you are asking because you are genuinely curious.

If, however, you are asking me a question because you want to make me feel stupid, I can tell that, too.

Some "questions" are not a question at all.  Take "You DO know what causes that, right?"
That's not a question--that's a mockery and an insult and implies that we are somehow clueless as to how the reproductive system works.

The adoption ones she mentioned really stood out to me as over-the-top.  "Which ones are your "real" kids?" COME ON!!!  Are you KIDDING me???

Would you ever walk up to a woman and say "What size do you wear?" or "How much do you weigh?"
I hope not.

Those questions are intrusive and none of your business.

Why, Why, WHY do people always ask if we're "done" now?!
Dennis' favorite response is to say, "Done doing what?"  (perhaps that's not very Christ-like either, but watching the person stammer is a tad fun.)
To me, and maybe it's just me, but that question is intrusive and no one's business.

But it does give me the opportunity to say, "Well, we don't know how many kids we'll have--we have chosen to let the Lord plan our family.  If He wants us to have more, we would welcome them!"

This usually leads to some sort of Duggar family reference, but, whatever.

I know we attract attention--and not just 'cause we're so good looking. :o)

Walking into to church (late) with my tribe--good grief, we're going to get noticed.  You just can't "sneak in" with little folks, and you can't sneak in with 10 people.

Some blessed folks just smile and nod...some with an understanding of what the days were like when their children were small and always seemed to trip right before they could enter the pew to sit down thereby stopping the whole procession until the child wearing the cowboy boots that are 10 sizes too big for him can pick himself up off the floor and make his way into the pew.

It's the disdainful looks that are hard to bear.  

Mercifully, I haven't seen many of these. 

It comes down to this:  let's not be rude, people.
I KNOW that I have in error said something that I didn't think or know was rude.  I KNOW I have.  And perhaps that person walked away seething at my ignorance.
I would hope, though, that they would recognize my question/comment as coming from a heart that was genuinely curious--and not one that was trying to "put them in their place" or trying to make them feel stupid.

If you'd like to read more about what Courtney had to say, click here:  A little more from yesterday