Friday, February 12, 2010

What I'd Rather Be Preparing for...

Yesterday, I told you how I wanted this.

But in my heart of hearts, what I'd really like

is a home birth.

I know, some people think that is really crazy.

I promise you--planned home-births assisted by a midwife are just as safe as a hospital birth. In fact, statistically speaking, safer.

This post isn't going to be a debate about home- vs. hospital birth. If you comment, please don't make it into one.

I'm just telling you what I'd rather be doing.
Which is preparing for a homebirth.

It has taken me a long time--and a fair number of pregnancies--to arrive at this place, desiring homebirth over the hospital.
As with our homeschooling decision, Dennis was "on board" way before I was. He has been wanting me to consider this for a few babies now.
And I've kept putting him off.

So this time, I decided to do some research.
Actually, I decided to start reading up on homebirth even before I knew I was pregnant with this baby.
I have been blown away by the information--and the mis-information that is out there.
It has changed my thinking in so many ways, and how I view the medicalization of birth in the United States.
One line from the synopsis of the film "The Business of Being Born" perhaps sums up how I feel about birth: Should most births be viewed as a natural life process, or should every delivery be treated as a potentially catastrophic medical emergency?
My vote: natural life process.

I had dismissed the idea of homebirth for a long time (or skirted my way around it?) because there are no midwives in our area. I hadn't found that surprising until now.
Anyway, a friend and her husband birthed their third child at home not far from us this past fall with a midwife. I gathered my nerve (checking with Dennis first), got the midwife's phone number and called her up.
We chatted for awhile and had quite a nice conversation.
She happens to be the same age as I am, grew up in a large family, and was even homeschooled! She has attended just under 200 births and is, of course, licensed and all that.
It was then that I just cut to it and asked, "how much will this cost?"
Yep. $3,000.
Now, in a hospital, I realize it's even more than that. But insurance kicks in most, if not all, of that.
She was so nice about it, she even offered to work with us and bring the cost down (too many details to type out here) but it was still out of our price range.

I had to resign myself to going to the hospital.

I need to say here that I have not had any real negative experiences at the hospital. I have had all my babes with no epidural, and all but our first with no pain meds of any kind.

I do, however, struggle after the baby is born with some post-partum issues. One of the aspects of birthing at home that I was looking forward to was perhaps less disruption in our lives and that that would somehow ease the transition from pregnancy through birth and on into life with a newborn.

I guess I'm sad that money played the biggest part in all of this.

So, even though I'd rather be making plans to have this baby at home and getting my little nest all ready for that...
instead, I am thinking about packing my bag, who's going to watch all the kids, how all the farm work is going to get done when Dennis is with me, etc., etc., etc.

But Lori--- don't worry. I'm not going to be a difficult patient when it's time to come in. I promise.
See you soon!


  1. Melissa-I really wanted a home birth too but because of money, we didn't do it. :( However, I was able to go completely natural in a hospital with my midwife. It was great!

    Just wanted to stop by and give you some encouragement and tell you I am praying for you. :)

  2. I'd just like to remind you that I am a nationally certified Emergency Medical Technicial, and we spent a whole evening a couple years ago learning how to deliver babies, so I'm pretty much qualified to scurry over to your place and take the wheel once it's time for birthin' babies. Just text me.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...