Thursday, June 24, 2010

another Q and A

Q: I want to have a large family but my husband is afraid we will have too many children like the duggars lol. I think with my age that it won't be a problem. He is just afraid of providing for a large family being self employed and farming he thinks everyone that has a large family is wealthy. any suggestions on this topic.

My Answer:
First, I have to stop laughing about the "everyone that has a large family is wealthy"... That is no more true than if I were to assume that all smaller families are wealthy because they have fewer people on which to spend their income. Nope--definitely not all large families are wealthy. (I speak from first-hand experience.)
Also, don't trust these funny numbers.

Next, I used to think that way, too--about the "too many" children. I thought that if we did not try to control how many children we had, we'd have oodles of kids. But God worked on my heart to trust Him.
For one at a time.
He doesn't typically give eight at once. I know, I know, the Oct-a-mom. I said, typically.

My "conversation" with the Lord went something like this:
God: "I'd really like you to stop using birth control."
Me: "Really? But, but...we'd have who-knows-how-many kids!"
God: "Do you trust Me?"
Me: "Yes, but..."
God: "Do you trust Me?"
Me: "Yes, I do, but...but..."
God: "Do. you. trust. Me."
Me: ".....................Yes, Lord. I will trust You."

I think that God does not give a couple "too many" children. The Bible always calls children a blessing. It's not like having too many pairs of shoes or too many toys. Children--all of us--have eternal souls. They are a joy and blessing.
And now I think, so what if we have oodles of kids? Kids are fabulous!

I also was filled with repentance when I read Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? by Randy Alcorn.
Life changing.

Were I you, I would pray that God would speak to your husband and soften his heart in this area.

Other suggested reading: Be Fruitful and Multiply by Nancy Campbell. I also subscribe to her Above Rubies magazine.
20 and Counting by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. So much more than a "how we do it" type of book. They share their hearts so beautifully. I love their story.
Courtney, at Storing Up Treasures, has so many great posts on the blessings of children. She says it well, I think.
So does Amy at Raising Arrows.

Most importantly, be careful that you are concerned about what God thinks and not what the world thinks. I find that when God is asking me to trust Him on an issue, my greatest resistance is "what will the world think?"
Such was the case when we really started listening to the Lord and His plans for our family's size.

I hope this helps you with your question. It's a HUGE topic and hard to condense into one post. Blessings to you!

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