Monday, May 9, 2011

Where Has She Gone

Perhaps some of you avid followers of my wife's blog have been wondering why she has not posted for a while, perhaps not; regardless, I am going to write this post on my opinion of some issues that have come up in the last couple of weeks.
Melissa and I have been married for fifteen years. Fifteen years--that alone says a lot.  We have many struggles in our relationships that I am sure many of you also have.  One thing that may be different is that we share our struggles with others.  Melissa through her blog and me by the way of cell phone calls with friends.
Some of the posts that come out have made me wonder if she shares too much and so we talked about it and decided months ago to talk about things before she publishes them. But when her post came out titled "He Says, She Says", our pastor approached me and asked me if I had approved of that post.  Without thinking I instinctively said no, but then remembered that we had talked about it but I had not actually read it before she posted it.  Our pastor was concerned that she was sharing too much about our struggles but I told him that that specific post did not really bother me. From there I told him there were other posts that had and we talked about being careful of respect.
I could go on and on but I want to get to my point.  My wife is a talented writer; she does not know how I appreciate her love for our family and her desire to share it with others.  We struggle in our relationship with each other and others.  I believe that we share our struggles not only to help us but also to show others that we are real.  We are very transparent and sometimes I think that people discredit us because we are transparent but I think about all the people who struggle with the same issues who are not at the point of dealing with them yet.  In doing so we wonder if I should be a leader in a church because we are not perfect, should I be helping people achieve financial freedom even though we are not there, should we be offering advice on raising kids since we have many areas to improve on ourselves, this list could go on and on.  My point is there is only one perfect person, Jesus, and we can only strive to become more like him, we choose to ask for help from other believers who also want to be like him.
The last couple of weeks has had her second guessing whether she should be writing or not and I want to show her my support for her to keep going.

Thanks for reading my second ever post



  1. I'm so glad you support her, Dennis! I just love her so much and enjoy reading about her honesty. I think that so many times we feel that as Christians we are called to look perfect, because that's what the world expects us to look like. When in fact, God has called us to look forgiven. Melissa's honesty is so authentic, and it's such a relief to many of us mom's to see someone else struggle and sigh and go "O good, it's not just me." Satan tries so hard to isolate us and make us feel like we are the only one who has troubles. It's at that point where so many people give up. True fellowship is authentic, and for those of us moms who don't get out much, we can have our little piece of fellowship with Melissa here. Thank you for sharing her with us!

  2. She NEEDS to keep writitng! Talking/writing about ones problems is a good way to vent, and is so theraputic (did I spell that right?)


  3. Thank you Dennis for writing this! I agree, Melissa is a talented writer and I LOVE reading her blog! You guys are real and HUMAN! I applaud your/her honesty.
    May God bless you richly~

  4. Keep writing - the post you are referring to was great and all of us can relate to it!

  5. I totally agree with Dennis and everyone else...keep writing! I took and was wondering and was even going to ask on Facebook if this was her way of taking a vacation:) I personally love her blog and it has made me really grow. I think her blog just goes to show that life is not always rosy and that other people have problems!! Keep writing Melissa and can't wait to hear from you soon!

  6. I am not confident in my own writing, so I will keep this short. Though our lives are very different, I get so much joy and inspiration through Melissa's blog. It has, 100%, made me a better person. Dennis, thank you for supporting your wife. The post you are talking about was actually emailed to my husband. :) I have checked the blog every day and have been wondering if all is okay in your house. I am glad to hear you are all well. Your blog is a blessing to me. Please don't stop writing! Thank you!!


  7. Bravo to you Dennis!! I find your wife an inspiration and her posts and honestly helps make me feel real too!!

  8. ...and yes..I have missed her!! Checking everyday...but no post! Hurry back Melissa!! You are missed!

  9. Thank you Dennis for supporting Melissa. I have loved getting to know your family through Melissa's blog.

    All of us have problems and I'm glad that she has been willing to share. I to have been checking for updates and have missed reading Melissa's funny and serious posts. You have such a wonderful family!

    God loves your family and you have many supporters!!!

  10. Melissa please keep writing I am a farmer's wife and your blog is one I can really relate to. You encourage me so much through your blog!

  11. Thank you for writing this Dennis and for supporting your beautiful wife's writing. :) I too enjoy her writing and transparency. As a fellow homeschool mom,who was raised on a farm, I marvel at how your family carries out the plan of the Lord! Melissa writes from her heart and I LOVE that about her! When she wrote "He Said, She Said" I thought, oh yeah, we've all had similar days because we are all human and I thought she was very humble in her writing and swallowing her pride. I thought she was taking a break because the first few weeks of pregnancy, at least for me, are always very tiring and a bit emotional. I always felt like I could sleep for days and still not get enough sleep! I miss you Melissa. Please write again soon. :) Thanks for keeping us posted, Dennis.

  12. Well, I've tried to keep my "mouth" shut but I can't...I know, no surprise there...!!! As an avid blog reader of many different blogs, I would never "judge" someone and question whether their spouse "approved" of any specific blog. If a spouse has a problem with something that is written, that is between the couple, and not for their pastor to tell the wife that she was wrong.....Because I'm Dennis's older sister, I've tried to step back and look at this objectively. I've thought about how I view other non-family members' blogs and I still do not judge the writer on how "appropriate" it is or if their spouses approve. That's between them and if there is a problem, I trust that they will figure it out without my butting in, cuz' nobody wants and "older sister" butting into their marriage.....:-) I know that Melissa, you write beautifully and it's your own way of going through life. Some people listen to music LOUDLY (I won't mention who...), some people find a sport to focus on, you write and THAT'S GREAT!!! I would hate for you to give up something you love and something that does you good because someone thinks it might be inappropriate...'nuff said......

    NOT the meddling older sister...

  13. Melissa...first of all I think it was wonderful that your husband wrote in support of you. The first time I read it I thought he was saying the opposite. Glad I read it twice. :)
    You know I'm a big mouth, but I have a hard time with anyone commenting on whether or not what you write is appropriate, especially someone who should know even more than I do that judging isn't right. Maybe I interpreted it wrong, but doesn't God want us to acknowledge our imperfections?
    Not one couple on this earth has a perfect marriage. I'm sorry but people who don't like what you write should just NOT read it and keep their mouths shut.
    Someone said this once to me when we get upset at others....was there intention to hurt? NO. You've never said anything hurtful once.
    Now, keep writing and if you continue to feel like you are getting a hard time, instead of removing the blog from your life, remove the source of the negativity! :)

  14. Amen!! to Diane's posting. I am the person about the LOUD MUSIC!! Melissa, we have talked before and this is your outlet. You are always authentic about your feelings on the blog and that is why I love reading your blogs. Please do not change on how you write your blogs. Diane, myself and the boys Love ya!!! and of course Dennis and the kids. Peace,your brother in Christ!!!


  15. Thank you Dennis for this post. And thank you Melissa for your honest heart. I have missed your posts. I really believe that the reason that divorce is just as common in the church as it is in the secular community is because some Christians feel that we should keep everything to ourselves! Our pastor talks about transparency. I love that--really sharing honestly with others. We "do life" with our church family. Not a "pretend everything is great, but it's really not" kind of life. Job losses, regrets, money issues, fights, frustrations, deaths, births, etc. Our marriage IS NOT perfect. We have had a lot of struggles, but we share those struggles. If we can be an example of what perserverance, hard work, and forgiveness...daily forgiveness is--than I don't regret ever sharing our imperfect life with others.
    Love in Christ,


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