(some of these have appeared as blog posts before...)
1. You can make your child go to bed, but you cannot make them go to sleep.
2. A glue stick resembles lip balm too closely for a 2 year-old to be expected to tell the difference.
3. I didn't think I'd quite so used to (or not caring about) wearing bodily fluids. (other people's, not my own--just to clarify.)
4. If you call out to your toddlers to ask "Whatcha doin'?" and they answer with "hiding from you", you need to check it out.
5. Children's favorite toys will always be water, dirt, sand, and cardboard boxes. Singularly or in any combination thereof.
6. Buying those treat containers for your diaper bag is a waste of money. Use a baggie instead. This is because when your child drops one of those containers in church, all the little Kix and Cheerios will spill out as it rolls toward the front of the sanctuary. A baggie will just fall, and spill a little.
7. Sitting nearer the front in church will lessen the travel distance for toys and snack containers.
8. The more stuff you bring to church to keep little ones busy, the more stuff you have for them to get easily bored with, fight over, and throw. Not to mention more to pick up afterward.
9. There are times when I think "I have so got this mothering thing down." and times when I think "I have absolutely no idea what I am doing." This vacillates from moment to moment.
10. Washing poo (aka cloth diapering) is not as hard or as yucky as one would think.
11. Sprayable Oxy-Clean and Stain Stick are the two best stain treatments I have found for kids messes.
12. Children must obey. If you don't make them, you will pay for it over and over and over again later. I promise.
13. Coffee cups are a stable first cup for toddlers. They don't tip over as easily as plastic ones.
14. Children are capable of more work than grown-ups give them credit for.
15. Bath toys are a waste of money. Just use stuff you have around: an ice-cube tray, hairspray bottle caps, laundry soap bottle caps, a funnel, etc.
16. Being a mother is to know what it is to have a piece of your heart out walking around. I have known deeper pain and joy than I would have thought possible because I have children. It's effect is not lost on me.